Nervous about sex......

[Writerwannabe83]

I'm 28 weeks pregnant and me and DH haven't had sex since I conceived. Partly because I was having unexplained bleeding at 7, 10 and 14 weeks but also because we don't particularly have high sex drives anyway.

However, tonight I have decided I'm going to try and get myself some action - but I feel nervous!! I know everyone says it is safe but I'm still worried about causing bleeding and hurting the baby. Especially as I'm 2/3rds of the way through a series of 3 day monitoring due to reduced movements - does it matter if I have sex during a period of worry? Readings from tracings last night and today were fine, final reading tomorrow and I'm feeling baby move loads today. So I'm not particularly worried but aren't sure if it's a good idea to try and get sex life back on track at this time?

And what about the myth about sex triggering labour? Don't some women use it as a method of kick starting things?? At what stage of pregnancy does sex go from being fine, to then being something that can start labour??

I'm planning on telling my husband to take the gentle approach as I'm guessing that's the safest. I need to get the 'first sex whilst pregnant' episode out the way and get over my fear, but I'd never forgive myself if something bad were to happen.

What if my earlier bleeds were problems with my cervix? I've never been told they were, but I've never been given an explanation. My bleed at 14 weeks was a huge, bright red, fresh bleed. If there are problems I'm sure a penis poking around isn't going to help matters....

I just feel anxious - as I'm sure you can tell.....

I think the point that sex in pregnancy might bring on labour is the point where you want it to bring on labour. The idea as to why sex might kick start a labour is two fold, semen contains similar hormones to those used to artificially start labour, and making love releases the love hormone which is also what is needed in labour. Sex might help start a labour if it's close to starting. So I wouldn't worry too much unless you have been instructed not too.

Why not take it very very slow. Start with some non sex touching. Massage, kissing and see how you go. So you are not putting too much pressure on yourself.

Hi writer, hope you're getting on ok. Dh and I have had sex a fair few times and luckily I haven't had any complications. Having sex to bring on labour is also to do with us orgasming. That over whelming feeling we get and sense of pleasure is meant to relax and gently contract out uterus so I have been told by my midwife friend.

Definitely take it easy, but from experience it can't find a comfortable position apart one and then dh can sometimes get a bit too carried away

Well we did it and survived We used the good old spooning position but a weird variation of it, lol, I just found it very hard to get in a position where my bump didn't feel stretched or sore. At times DH did get quite frantic and carried away with himself and I had to tell him to be more gentle but at least we hanged. I felt like a virgin all over again, bumbling, unsure, a bit awkward, not sure where to put myself etc I was worried afterwards that I'd start gushing with blood or go into premature labour but none of these happened

At least that's the first tine over with - now we can just focus on perfecting the technique

Pleased it went well. Not sure what else to say without sounding like some weird pervert.

Thanks Haz - your pervert comment made me laugh out loud!! [ grin]