"are you excited?"

[aroha77]

I have friends who seem to be constantly asking me if I'm excited about being pregnant and one in particular today who seemed to be judging whether I seemed excited enough, as if she was concerned that I was matching up to the level she thought I should be.

I know a lot of the time they're just making conversation so is it bad that this is beginning to really irritate me?! I feel like I can't be expected to maintain a certain level of excitement for the full 9 months, and why can't she realise that there will be other emotions I'm going to be feeling too - like nervous, tired (too sick to think!) etc.

I'm quite realistic that having a baby will be hard work/a steep learning curve and I love my job so am a bit nervous about how I'll feel having so much time off. I've been thinking these are normal things to be feeling but she's made me feel guilty I'm not feeling 100% excited all the time!

Would appreciate any words of wisdom, thanks :)

Littlebean13 birth will be fine, though I do recommend pethidine, but I've done it without and really, definitely hurts but I'd do it again tomorrow.

Actually while you can't possibly be excited for 9 months and motherhood brings worry in equal measures to joy (if you're lucky), having my babies, the moment you give birth and the delicious few days of euphoria afterwards have been the most thrilling thing I've ever done. If I didn't have such horrific pregnancies I'd want to do it a third time. I think that's the thing,I get really excited for friends at the end of pregnancy, when it was me though I was really fed up.

Totally with you. I'm expecting no 2 (18 weeks) and boy, the time cannot just go by fast enough. I HATE being pregnant, it is so boring and tiring.

Everyone else is far more excited about this pregnancy than me, and all I care about is being on maternity leave.

As I think you can tell I am a grumpy preggo:)

I think people like to dictate how you should feel when they themselves have problems being honest with feelings.

I'm on pregnancy number 3 and this time I had one rule for myself, no feelings are wrong. Consequently my mood has been much more stable.

I find pregnancy long and tiring. I miss enjoying food normally, I miss wine. I miss physical freedom. However by not putting pressure on myself to feel a certain way and embracing negative feelings as normal, I do notice the bits I do enjoy more and I feel calmer. I do like the scans, feeling baby kick and choosing a name.

I think it's patriarchal pressure, this myth that women should enjoy every second of pregnancy and motherhood.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/jun/09/pregnancy-tyranny-impending-motherhood

I usually say "um, yes, but it feels like a long way off." I still have 10 weeks to go and it feels like I've been pregnant forever.

I find it annoying when people ask if my other children are excited. It's totally not on their radar. If something isn't happening immediately, then there's no reason for them to think about it or get excited. When asked if they want a brother or sister they say "I don't know/I don't mind." And people get annoyed that they don't have a preference.