Pregnant after mc terrified !

[Sarah2013mum]

Hi, I'm new to this site so apologies for any mistakes! Anyway this may seem long winded so here goes:
Last November 2012 I lost a baby at 14 weeks. Traumatically. If started bleeding with no pain at 9 and scans showed baby was still fine. By 11 weeks I hemorrhaged at home and needed ambulance and blood transfusions. Still baby ok. Came home 2 days later. had been home an hour when I started bleeding badly again: another ambulance, resus, baby was still ok :/ again once back at home started again and managed to get to gyne ward where baby was still ok but my cervix was dilating. After 6 hours of contractions they asked if I would give permission for a d&c. Hardest thing I've had to do as I knew my baby was still alive but couldn't go on anymore.
Anyway after all of this I'm here now a year later and found I'm pregnant again. ( around 5-6 wk was on pill but had Noro virus ) and I'm terrified. I've had no bleeding or anything bad but I can't function . I can't talk. I can't feel happy. I want this baby I really do but I'm so scared of the same thing happening. Only my husband knows at the minute. And I can't speak to him. He's very good and is confident that everything will be ok this time. It's not just if I lost this baby although it would be awfully upsetting, I'm so worried that I could be out somewhere and just start hemorrhaging like last time with no warning. Last year I spent 5 weeks in my house scared to move. I have no reason to feel like this now as fingers crossed my baby is fine in there. I just don't no if I can cope. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Last year the doctors said there was points in resus in a & e that they were extremely worried and I was very lucky.

Luckily I have a lovely epau nurse who I've spoke to already and she's booked me for an early scan this Friday. I already have 3 beautiful children ( son 9, daughter 6 although she was 12 weeks prem and a whole different story, and daughter 3 ) and I feel so selfish, that I could possibly be putting myself in a similar position again. I
I've waffled, I'm sorry I just needed to write it down I think. There was nothing wrong with my baby last time it had no chromosome issues etc it was just my body.
Anyway hope to hear from someone who has any advice etc and sorry again to go on and on !!

Sarah xx

Sarah, you poor thing. It sounds like you're really going through it at the moment.

I'm not the expert but if you've had 3 children successfully then there's no reason to think that this pregnancy won't work out well too.

It sounds like you've had a really awful experience that is proving hard to forget. I think it's really important that you talk to someone. Try again to talk to your husband, talk to the nurse again or perhaps there's someone else you can confide in. Your mum? Or a friend? A problem shared and all that, but talking really does help.

Good luck :)

Thank u for ur reply! I think if I try to be rational deep down I know that I'm being ridiculous, and I really thought I'd moved on from last year but I think it's all just suddenly come back to me. Last year was my 3rd mc. I'd had a mmc at 10 weeks b4 my first child, then my 2nd was born at 28 weeks then an early mc, then that one last year. I try to talk to my dh but I get the feeling he thinks I'm being silly and I purposely worry myself. I've not told my mum yet as she was with me last year and I no I caused her so much worry. I'm hoping on Friday everything is as it should be up to that point and maybe break it to my mum. I'm not usually a moaner or negative person, we have been thru the mill with our middle child so I try to stay positive. Just at the minute I feel neurotic! Like I'm losing my mind, my poor dh sits trying to talk about everyday things and I sit there blankly not taking it in. It helps to write it down here and I no I am very very lucky to have 3 amazing children, and things could have been a lot worse.
I'm supposed to be going to uni in September to train as a nurse and I think it's all just thrown up so many questions and worries that it's all too much

Thank you for replying! I think I expected a " pull yourself together " response so I'm very grateful ! X

Try and just take things one day at a time.

I hope the scan gives good results. You won't be able to see much as it's early. They may be able to offer more regular scans for reassurance in the future weeks too.

Keep trying to talk to DH, it's upsetting for him too and this might just be his way of dealing with it. Let him see that what is important to you is talking about how you're feeling right now.

There might even be a Mumsnet ante-natal club for people who are nervous in pregnancy after a mc. Worth a look for some advice from those who have experienced similar.

This is probably all the advice I can offer...Update us after the scan :)

Congratulations!
Go to the Pregnancy thread list and find the one with 'Posifrickentivity' in the title. Then dive in and join us. We have all been through MC, are all hanging on to sanity by our fingernails, and all holding each others hands! Its lovely. Its a rolling thread, there are ladies in all stages of PG and newbies are always welcome. There are several thread babies and more due any minute, its sooo encouraging. Do come over. xx