Sticky situation

[Nickmum]

I need some advice. I found out i was pregnant 2 weeks ago it was uplanned and out of the blue so i was unsure of what i was going to do but have decided to keep it. Im not ready to tell people about it as i know it will be quite a shock. My best friend has just fallen pregnant and she has planned to have an abortion as she is not ready for a baby. I support her decision 100%. My question is should i tell her im havingg a baby before she has the abortion or should i wait until after. For some reason i feel like she should know before so that she isnt taken a back when i tell her after. But i dont want to upset her before she has her abortion i know shes made her decision and i dont want ther to think im trying to mind her. I know how emotionally traumatic abortions can be and i dont want tobupset her and make it even more difficult but i dont want her to feel like i lied to her. Please help.

I think it's a hard situation to be in. I can only tell you that I personally would appreciate being told.

I wouldn't tell her. Most people leave announcing til 12 weeks anyway. Just give her your support.

Congratulations!

Only you can answer that question as you know her the best. What is your gut telling you?

That's incredibly tough. There's no right answer.

What is your friend like? Very upset or very practical and determined? Sure in her decision or wavering?

Tough one and both options have their pros and cons however if I was in your friends position I think I would want to know before hand - but I'm not sure why if that makes sense! Whenever you tell her the most important thing is that she knows you support her 100% and your there for her no matter what.

If I were you I would tell her before she has the abortion.

Obviously I don't know you or her, and I don't want to make any assumptions about your/her situation and reasons for choosing as you have - I'm just thinking what I would do if it were me and my best friend.

If I were the friend I would hate to have made that choice and then to watch you going through pregnancy. Being her best friend, the choices you're making will have an affect on her, it just seems to me the right thing to do.

But, to reiterate, I'm basing all that on my very close relationship with my best friend, and what I would want to hear if I were the one decided on the abortion.

Really hard place for you to be. But if I were in that position, I would tell her. Abortion is tough and though she may have made up her mind, she will appreciate your honesty.

Sorry, my advice sucks and that exclamation mark was really inadvisable. If I was your friend it wouldn't bother me that you didn't tell me but I'm against the majority.

Good luck in whatever you decide

Thanks everyone for helping me out. I think i will tell her its the right thing to do. Even though it might make it tougher for her in the short term im sure she will appreciate it and have time to process the infomation and make her mind up on how she feels. Thanks again!