First time mum labour it scaring me please explian

[SweetPea86]

Ok so I put off getting pregnant for a while because the labour was a major scary point for me (you may think I'm ridiuclous,)

But wanting a baby over took my fears.

At work my female work colleges go out of there way to tell me there horror stories like being cut and being in labour for 2 weeks amongst other stuff, I'm 24 weeks now and it's all I think about and it's taking the exciting part of meeting my little fella away. I wanted to ask my midwife but was to embarrassed as she might think I'm pathetic.

Part of my problem is I'm such a control freak and I have no idea about any of this I take pregnancy one day at a time and it's doing my head in.

Can you tell me what happens like how do you know when it starts i know it's going to be horrifically painful. I'm not good with pain In fact I'm a wimp.

I get annoyed when fellow females want to scary the living day lights out of me I think they forget that they were in the same boat as me once :(

I had a tough time with my first birth so I read Juju Sundin's Birth Skills before my second birth and I felt so much more in control. It gives a bunch of ideas to help you cope with labour.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0091922143

I was terrified as well. My mum had told me it was the worst pain ever and I was influenced by all the horrific births I'd seen on dramas. I coped by going to NCT classes, doing hypnotherapy and reading a book called, 'Labour Pain: Discover the Secrets of an Easier Labour' by Nicky Wesson (it's on Amazon, but I can't link at the moment). I also made sure I wrote a birth plan and ensured my DH knew what I wanted and didn't want and was there with me at the birth.

I also went to great lengths to make sure the baby was in the right position. My first baby was posterior (back to back), which is meant to lead to a difficult and painful birth, so I did some research and managed to get hold of a special rocking chair. I sat in this chair every evening in late pregnancy and my son shifted into the right position! I ended up having a really quick birth, with no pain relief and it wasn't bad at all.

The second time around, my baby was breech, so I had him turned whilst he was inside me. I wouldn't recommend this as I'm sure it led to him being tangled up in the cord, so if I had to do this again I'd go for a Caesarean.

My mum can't believe it when I say both births were fine, but she had no control over her labour as I was born in a time when the midwives or doctor told you what to do and birth was usually on your back.

You say that you know birth is going to be 'horrifically painful'. That isn't true. It starts slowly, with contractions that feel a bit like period cramps, then builds up. Your body has time to adjust and you go into another mind zone. It's not like having a tooth out without anaesthetic or breaking a limb.

The key is to inform yourself as much as possible so that you can take control. And tell all those scaremongers that you don't want to hear anymore scare stories. Why do women do this to each other?

Hi as lots of posters have said every labour is different I was also terrified I spoke to my midwife alot about it and she arranged for me to go to a parent craft session at my local children's centre where women were talking about there births that really helped maybe ask if this is available where you live. I found that having no expectations about my birth helped, I know a few of my friends had a very set idea of what they wanted and we're very upset when it didn't go to plan. I have a very low pain threshold I thought id end with an epidural and a c section but in the end I had on off contractions for maybe 2 days (they were less painful than the brackston hicks id had earlier in my pregnancy)& I ended up only getting to the hospital about 40mins before she was born as I didn't think I was in in enough pain to be in established labour after all the horror stories id been told I thought id feel like I was dieing, I was convinced that I was only about 2cm and they were going to send me home and id be one of those women in obem that keep coming and getting sent home!but it turned out I was 8cm and got no pain relief except about 10mins of g&a. I dont recommend this but until you have done it you have no idea how you will cope or what your body is capable of.

If it helps I know someone who was in asda 4 hrs after popping out her first getting a few essentials!

My personal experience is that epidurals are bloody miracle workers!

Just remember good experience or bad people go on to have more children so it must be worth it....

If it helps I know someone who was in asda 4 hrs after popping out her first getting a few essentials!

My personal experience is that epidurals are bloody miracle workers!

Just remember good experience or bad people go on to have more children so it must be worth it....

As Toffeewhirl says in most cases labour pain builds up gradually. In my case though, full on labour started 30 seconds after my waters broke, ie contractions 2minutes long, 90 seconds apart. It was indeed like breaking a limb or suddenly having an accident. I was told afterwards that I went straight to transition. This is unusual but I got a bit of a shock because I didn't think anyone (aside from in the movies!) had pain as soon as water broke. Not telling you this to scare you, just telling you this so you don't get a big fright like I did and started freaking out something was wrong!

TBH I feel like your body does whatever it bloody likes during labour. The big variety in women's experiences means that you can't assume that any one kind of labour (easy sneeze birth or frightening emergency situation) is going to happen to you. Take it as it comes. Try your best to be calm. Read up on childbirth - but not so much that you start thinking/analysing every little thing. Every woman feels like sense of fear of the unknown, I think, for the first baby. And remember - at the end of the day everything will be fine, really. It'll be a hell of a rollercoaster for the time of the birth and immediately afterwards, but when the dust settles in about a month afterwards, everything will mostly be in one piece and you will have a lovely baby

The childbirth topic might be a good place for you to browse, OP, as to will find a wealth of information there.

And if you want to use parts of MN beyond Talk, here's the Childbirth info page

Actually, that happened to me too, Zara, but I wouldn't compare the labour pains to breaking a limb at all. They were powerful and scary, but I coped.

I suppose everyone experiences labour differently.

I had what can only be described as an awful birth, long, painful, scary and complicated. I won't bore you with the details because my point is I have the most beautiful DD as a result and I'll be doing it all again in 22 weeks' time, so it didn't put me off getting pg again.

I eventually had an epidural after reaching the end of my tether and it was the best decision for me. I did end up with intervention and an episiotomy, but that would have happened in any case (for me), so I don't regret it one bit. I healed and everything is normal now.

I did NCT classes , but any kind of antenatal class will help you to understand the process, which will help you to understand that you can and will do it one way or another.

Another thing that helped me (a bit) was to control my breathing during contractions and reminded myself constantly that the pain would go. Remember that contractions come and go, so the pain is by no means constant. through each contraction just keep thinking this will stop, this will stop, then it does actually stop until the next one. It really stopped me from panicking (and seriously losing my shit) and honestly the best thing you can do is try to stay calm, somehow it really does hurt less if you're calm and not shouting, or at least that was the case for me.

Good luck, I promise you that it will be worth the pain and it might even be better than you're anticipating.

Oh and I think the childbirth section of MN is actually quite a scary place for a first time mum, lots of bad stuff and the good stuff is a bit thin on the ground - I suppose people don't need help/advice if everything went fine. I think it gives a pretty skewed picture of the reality of childbirth. Antenatal classes are really the best way to learn about childbirth IMHO.