Having a proper rubbish time at the mo...

[mixi82]

Hi all, felt like venting some frustration and hope no one minds me having a bit of a whinge. Just been on the phone to DP to discuss money matters for when the baby comes along. Although we are a long way off, I'm 10wks+3, I stressed the importance of starting to save. He was bleating on about getting furniture for the house and a new weekend car, which kinda hit a nerve with me so I had a bit of a shout and moan at him! I believe we should start saving now because as friends and family have said, before we know it baby will arrive. I want to make sure I have what I need for baby and things, the last thing I'm thinking about is laying new flooring down or an extra car. Is it wrong of me to think that he's being a little selfish?

He's definitely being short sighted, maybe a bit naive but it depends on your circumstances.

I would recommend sitting down with your bank statements, pay slips etc and working out what you've got, what's going to be coming in and what needs to be paid for over the months/ years when the baby is here.

I would ensure nobody is making assumptions:
Does he know your plans (ie are you planning yo be a SAHM or have full 12mth maternity? Will you work FT or PT?)
Is he aware of your maternity pay - some folks honestly think its a year off fully paid...
What's his work paternity policy?
Are there loans or credit cards to clear before buying other stuff?

He needs to know exactly where you stand before spaffing cash on stuff you really don't need. It's time to grow up! boo

Hi, we've discussed maternity pay and his pay too. Thinking of going back after 6 months as PT. I'm just annoyed that he doesn't understand where I'm coming from especially seeing as he's got a child from a previous relationship. He even said when we found out about pg that things will be quite expensive at first. It annoyed me even more when he said he had enough of the conversation cos he was getting a headache!! maybe it's the hormones but I'm feeling very upset and angry too :(

I'm not surprised you're upset & angry. You're trying to discuss something really important & he's shutting you down. Finances and a baby are scary, especially as you might feel vulnerable as you need to rely on him to contribute.

But maybe over the phone, late at night wasn't the best time? Can you 'make a date' to sit down face to face when you are both calm and talk this through properly?

You're right, probably wasn't the best time really. No doubt we'll discuss it this weekend, just want to make sure he's on my side. Thanks for being a shoulder LastOne :) x

Hey iv spent 350 on a beautiful pram that was met to be a grand and got beautiful cots and Moses basket off eBay iv spent about 600. And got clothes brand new obviously we will need more when we can find out if it's a boy or a girl!

Just put away a bit every month. Xxxxx

No problem! I hope you get it sorted - its a big weight off when you know where you are with money.

We got our nursery furniture second hand too Naomi. Beautiful oak stuff and less than half the price of the same set currently on sale in mamas and papas. We might get a new pram, but ours will definitely be an eBay baby!