My partner and I have been trying to get pregnant for a few months and have now been successful. The problem is I’m struggling to feel positive about this. I’ve never been particularly maternal and have never felt ‘clucky’. But at 35 and in a good place with my job etc it felt like now or never – and my partner was really keen to have children. But I feel sick a lot as I’m in the first trimester, which isn’t helping my state of mind, and I’m feeling anxious. I keep worrying about the changes that are coming. I want to be able to give our baby everything it will need – but I’m worrying about our finances, (we will need to move to a bigger flat and we live in London where accommodation and childcare costs are astronomic). I’m worried about our financial ability to give a life full of opportunity to our coming baby. I’m worried about my ability to be ‘present’ for my kid/s – but also to have time to be competitive at my job, which we need me to be successful in to afford to look after our kid/s well. I’m worried my attitude is negatively affecting my partner – as I’m sure he wishes I was happy and positive about the pregnancy. I’m finding it really hard to grapple with understanding how my life will change and how we will deal with all the coming challenges. I feel out of control both in terms of the changes happening to my body and in terms of our future. Have other people felt like this? I’m worried my anxiety is worse because maybe I didn’t have a strong enough desire for babies…