Is 8 weeks to early to tell the parents?

[KitKatChick]

We weren't trying to conceive, quite the opposite actually telling every nagging person there were no babies planned for another couple of years. As our contraception was pretty relaxed it was bound to happen and we are in a pretty good place at the moment so welcome the surprise.

I only found out last week and from my dates should be around 7 weeks now. Now I'm not sure if we should tell both sets of parents the good news or keep quiet until 12 weeks. We're going to be spending Christmas with both sets of parents so refusing drinks might get a bit tedious after a day or so.

At first I thought they'd love to know and it was a good idea but after a bit of reading here I'm learning that early MCs are so common it may not be the best idea....I couldn't get an appointment with my GP until Jan so won't see a midwife probably until Feb.

Is anybody else thinking of breaking the news at Christmas or as early on as 8 weeks?

I'm no expert but I'm not sure taking another pregnancy test will really prove anything either way - our bodies can still go on 'acting pregnant' even if the foetus hasn't developed (MMC). Just getting to 8 weeks and still 'feeling pregnant'/not having any MC symptoms is a good sign but only a scan is really going to tell you what's going on in there.

The odds are always in your favour though - most pregnancies ARE healthy and succeessful. But ultimately only you can decide how you/your family would feel in the event that the worst happens - there's no right or wrong answer.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Another pregnancy test won't tell you anything unfortunately. Even if you have a full miscarriage (rather than a missed miscarriage) you still test positive for a while after.

If you want any additional reassurance before you tel people, it's an early scan you need really. x

We told both our parents straight away, it took along time for us to fall and was just about to start ivf when we conceived naturally so we wanted our parents to share our little secret and I knew I'd need their support if things went wrong

Congratulations

It's entirely up to you. I told my dad the day I peed on a stick, about three weeks after conception. Just for a bit of perspective though, something I was reading yesterday said 10-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, of which 80% occur before twelve weeks. So while miscarriage isn't rare, your chances are still pretty good.

The first time around we told the family when I was about 9 weeks because it was Christmas, and they would have their suspicions if I wasn't drinking. We stressed to them that it was still early days and couldn't tell anyone until we got the ok from our scan a few weeks later.

This time around I told my mum at 5 weeks but that's only because she asked me - twice, on different days - because she suspected. I didn't feel comfortable lying, so again I stressed that it was super early days. She helped me at a family party where there was loads of champagne by giving me some schloer instead. I think my brother and sister noticed though, but that's another story!

I'll be 12 1/2 weeks this Christmas. If anyone asks I'll probably tell them. If not, my scan is on the 27th so I'll tell them then.

I am concerned if something goes horribly wrong though and I had to terminate - mum is Catholic and would really struggle to deal with that. I would hope that she'd ultimately understand but it would only be in extreme circumstances anyway. Obviously I hope everyone would be supportive with a miscarriage.

I told my parents, sister and best friend a few days after my positive test (about 5 weeks) and we told dhs parents a few days after that (more because dh struggled how to phrase the news)
We knew it was early but we would have needed and wanted their support if anything had gone wrong.
I think thats the determining factor. If something goes wrong would you value their support or would you wish they didn't know.
Try not to dwell on the possibility of a mc. It can happen and its awful if it does but most people are lucky and don't have to go through such an awful thing.

So we told both parents on Christmas Eve. Everyone was really happy even though my mum looked more shocked than anything. It's made everything a bit easier as I don't have to refuse drinks or explain why I absolutely have to eat as soon as I start feeling hungry as I feel sick otherwise. Now just keeping fingers crossed everything goes well and we'll have a scan picture to show them next month! Thanks all for the advice and merry Christmas.