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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Paternity leave- how much is your other half taking...?

66 replies

amandine07 · 17/12/2013 10:21

Hello everyone

Currently 36 weeks, expecting our first baby.
Talking about paternity leave with the OH- bit surprised, he's saying that he's going to take 3 days (full paid) PL as the rest of it is statutory and so will have to take salary cut.

I do understand that we need the money, but I feel a bit sad that he'll be back at work a v shirt time after the birth and will miss out on the early days, just enjoying being at home, being a family.

It looks like I'll probably need a CS too although even if I had a 'straightforward' VB I would need help & support at home with the baby.

How much is your other half taking?
Am I being a bit PFB about all this...?!

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HorraceTheOtter · 19/12/2013 12:20

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MightilyOats · 19/12/2013 13:28

2 weeks paternity leave and 2 weeks annual leave here. We were both a bit shell-shocked (and knackered) in the early days, and it was definitely easier having him around! When DP went to work I quickly realised that he needed to bring me some breakfast when he had his - as the first day on my own I didn't get anything to eat or drink til 3pm so was almost passing out! Ditto if he can make you a sandwich or something easy for lunch so you can just grab it. Bitesize flapjacks were also a life saver for me in the early days and nights of bfing - I would get a sudden famished feeling and they were just the right hit

Freeze, freeze, freeze as much food as you can for meals in advance.

Good luck op and hope you both get as much time as possible together with the baby.

TKKW · 19/12/2013 16:32

DH gets 4 weeks from his company - its a large one.

crabwoman · 21/12/2013 19:13

DH taking 2 weeks off in total. 4 days off for the birth when it occurs and then the following as long weekends, monday - Friday.
He is a teacher, so it's easier for him as he has to plan the lessons he needs covering. (I'd rather he be at work than at home flapping).This is obviously subject to change if I need a c-section or there are complications.

When I had DD1 I found this to be preferable, as I quite liked to be on my own with just me and the baby (she will be at school).
I am however 37+2, so it's quite possible that the baby will arrive in the Christmas holidays, which would be a bonus!

Xmasbaby11 · 21/12/2013 19:50

DH is taking 2 weeks pat leave (full pay) then 2 weeks annual leave when DD2 is born in Jan. DD1 is 2 and I will need a lot of help with her (though she is at nursery 3 days) and am having c section.

If you have local friends to support you it will be fine. With DD1, DH was only off a week, then my mum came for a fortnight. I have to say it was a great feeling when I had my first day alone with DD.

dimdommilpot · 21/12/2013 21:19

OH will be taking 1week if he can. He works in finance and baby is due first week of April so he won't be able to take any more off due to the tax year calender.
This is our second though so it doesnt bother me too much. If it was my first i would be asking him to take a weeks holiday as well.

ClearlyMoo · 22/12/2013 08:38

DH is a farmer. Turns out our baby is due at a good time of year (May) - after cattle out and before hay making. This year he took 2 weeks off in May for our wedding & honeymoon, so although he'll have bits and bobs he'll need to do I'm hoping he can be around when I need him - at least popping in regularly! Once Hay making starts though that's him out of the house 7am-9pm every day for a week, so hoping baby on time and hay making late!

Nulanoo · 24/12/2013 09:48

It's early days for us but my dp is self enployed so will probably not have much at all depends what work he has on too

Tea1Sugar · 24/12/2013 10:16

Dp is taking 4 days starting the day of my csection scheduled for 15th April so he'll also get Good Friday and Easter Monday with us paid as normal

LELoupee · 24/12/2013 10:38

My DH was off for 7 weeks after DS was born, but it was down to pure luck really. He is in the army, had 2 weeks PL fully paid, 4 weeks off because the base was closed and 1 week of annual leave so we could go to Ireland to see his family. Although the was away for the last 3 months of my pregnancy, arrived back on the Friday and I gave birth on the Tuesday after. It was amazing, and I fully appreciate it is unlikely to ever happen again.
I would like him to take as much time off as you can afford. Those first weeks are so special and go by so fast.

Original poster

amandine07 · 24/12/2013 11:11

Thank you for all your replies, nice to see there is real variation in how much PL gets taken.

It would be lovely for the OH to take loads of time off & enjoy our newborn together but we have to be realistic in terms of finances.

As it stands his new boss, who is lovely & a mother of 4 herself (includes twins!) has basically said he can work as flexibly as he wants in the weeks following the birth.

My OH is a self-confessed workaholic...it sounds like she has had a word in his ear about everything.

On the plus side, am feeling much more calm about the PL situation, there's no point getting stressed out about it!

OP posts:

Weareboatsremember · 24/12/2013 19:20

DH had 4 weeks off at full pay after my cs and I really did need him around. A Cs is major abdominal surgery and walking is difficult at first, let alone carrying the baby up and downstairs, bending down to pick things up, turning over in bed to get the baby out of the Moses basket several times in the night etc. also, you won't be able to drive for a few weeks so might feel a bit isolated if dh is out at work all day and you're stuck in the house with a crying baby.

Original poster

amandine07 · 26/12/2013 09:00

Thanks for the replies everyone.
Great tips oscarwilde thank you, it's do hard to imagine/visualise what things will be like in a few weeks time!

It's just knowing about those little things, especially making sure you have all your bits & pieces around you before settling down for a feed!

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Original poster

amandine07 · 26/12/2013 09:04

We don't have a car at the moment, live in urban London so it's not a priority expenditure right now.

So long as I am able to walk & push pram I'm hoping to make it to the park 10 minutes dine the road. Obviously when I'm feeling up to it!

Maybe we'll get snow in January & I'll be housebound so will just have to snuggle on the sofa instead & people will have to come to us and visit!

OP posts:

TransatlanticCityGirl · 26/12/2013 16:34

DH took 2 weeks for DD (fully paid) and will do the same for no. 2.
He briefly considered taking additional paternity leave (statutory, after 6 months when I return to work) but he works in a bank with a load of dinosaurs who all have stay-at-home wives or nannies or both... and taking anything more than the 2 weeks is highly frowned upon, pretty much career suicide. And a recession is not the time to take such risks.

SweetPea86 · 26/12/2013 16:45

My hubby is just been made redundant a month ago so hopefully by the time I'm due in April he will be in work again. So I'm not sure if he would be entitled to any thing which is a bit scary but I hope at least the first two weeks or I would feel completely lost lol

I think two weeks to a month is not asking a lot. :)

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