antenatal depression

[megan63426]

I've been diagnosed with antenatal depression. I'm 23 weeks pregnant and I have no support from family, or my partner. I have no friends to talk to. Not many people are away of antenatal depression, so finding it hard to find someone to talk to that can relate to what I'm going through. My partner is a bit of a handful and drinks a lot. When he's sober he's fantastic with me, but when he drinks he really upsets me. I just need someone to talk to. Can anyone help?

could you contact your midwife or gp and see if there are any support groups near by? Check the back of your pregnancy pack, if u have one, I'm sure I've seen phone numbers in there for groups or phone numbers you can ring for support.

Sorry you're suffering with this and I can't really help, but I know you're not alone and that it is really hard to deal with xxx

Hi Megan. I'm not sure what I could say to help but couldn't bear you going unanswered when you so clearly need some support! You did the right thing coming on here. Maybe try talking to your midwife? Tell her your situation and that you need extra support and tell her how you have been feeling. Have you been to any antenatal classes? That's where I met most of the people I am friends with now, it is nice to meet people who share some of the same experiences. Also getting out and focussing on the baby can help.You say you have been diagnosed with depression so I am curious what is being done to help you through it? Have they referred you for some sort of counselling? Is your partner aware of what you are going through? Does he realise what his drinking is doing to you? If you need to then there is always Women'sAid 0808 2000 247 that you can ring 24/7 if you need some extra support. My heart goes out to you Megan. Take care of yourself xx

Hey I'm so sorry and I hope your okay? Are the doctors doing anything to help you.

You can always private message me if you like, I'm on mat leave now and do sweet F.A till feb :)

Xxx

Hi Megan
I have some second-hand experience of depression in pregnancy as my sister was very ill from about 4 months until after the birth of her child, including a period of postpartum psychosis (I don't want to scare you btw but I just want to give you the full picture). She found it very difficult to get any help at all. GP was hopeless as was midwife.

In the end she paid for cognitive behavioural therapy (6 month wait on NHS) but by that point she was very poorly indeed and it didn't help. It was a terrible time and robbed her of any joy in being pregnant

In the end, following a period of psychosis after her baby's birth she got better suddenly and not even on medication (she refused to take the drugs when she saw how they affected other patients).

It might be relevant to you so I'll mention that she had fertility treatment and when her consultant heard about her depression he said "you should have come to me".

I would recommend trying to find out if your area has a mother and baby mental health unit. You may be able to access their services in pregnancy if your GP could refer you.

Good luck. This is a horribly under-resourced area and it is so unfair. I hope you can get some help soon.

Hi Megan,

Your situation sounds awful, you poor love. It must be so lonely to have no support at what is supposed to be one of the most magical times in your life.

I have experience with depression and it's no picnic whether it's caused by life events or a chemical imbalance. Don't be too quick to accept a psychiatric label though, when the problem may not actually lie within you. There's a great quote that goes:

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a**holes."

Not getting support while pregnant is not the natural order of things. If the people closest to you are letting you down, that's your biggest problem right now, and it's not one of your making.

Local support groups or counselling may give you the confidence to really take stock of what is working for you and what is not, and you may surprise yourself as to what positive changes you can make that will improve things. Pregnancy groups are a great place to meet new, better friends.

And you're welcome to message me directly. :)

Megan, I am in the same situation, although I have suffered depression for as long as I can remember. Unsupportive partner and no one else either.

I don't have any words of wisdom, but you aren't alone.

Totally agree with quanoi! You might have a reason for feeling down!! I know I do sometimes xxxx

Hiya, I'm new to this site and was just having a curious browse but felt compelled to sign up after reading your post so that I could comment. I was diagnosed with pre-natal depression (as my Dr called it) at roughly 17 weeks pregnant. It was awful. I was suffering panic attacks and couldn't stop crying and didn't want to talk about the pregnancy or see any of my friends. My husband and family are lovely but they just didn't understand. I initially went to the Drs as I was worried the panic attacks could be harmful to the baby and I just knew that I needed help. The Dr was great and took everything I said seriously and signed me off work for 2 weeks initially then another 4 weeks as the anxiety hadn't subsided. I was also referred to a free counselling service called 'Time to Talk' and I was offered 6 counselling sessions where I was able to talk in confidence and without any judgement.

I don't know if it will be of any help to you at all but I actually wrote an article about my experience with pre/antenatal depression as I just felt so lonely that I wanted to pour my feelings out. I actually posted the article on Facebook (a bold move, but very glad I did!) and had so many messages from women who had experienced the same thing. I've put a link to the article here
carisrosita.tumblr.com/post/66552751242/pre-natal-depression-what-you-dont-expect-when-youre

It's not at all meant to be patronising or preachy, and I know that every experience with this is different, but it may be helpful for you to know that you're not alone.

I'm now 33 weeks pregnant, on maternity leave, and I can honestly say that I feel myself again. I'm relaxed and happy and so excited about the arrival of my little man!

Please feel free to contact me any time if you want to talk. It really will get better. Sending lots of hugs and well wishes xxx