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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Just got pregnant.. Found out my partners cheated.

22 replies

mumof3xxx · 11/12/2013 23:12

We have 2 gorgeous girls together ages 4 and 2.. And recently been ttc number 3.. Found out I was pregnant on Friday now today I discover messages to women on date line and on his phone telling her he misses her wi kisses, telling loads of women how stunning they are etc
I've thrown him out and told him I want nothing to do with him
I'm so heart broken and upset and only 6 weeks pregnant!! Full of tears :( ... X

OP posts:
Barbsta · 11/12/2013 23:36

Can't imagine how you are feeling :( right now is when you need him there the most. Do you have a supportive family? It's not the same as a partner but at least you have some support

Original poster
mumof3xxx · 11/12/2013 23:42

I do yeah but they work a lot and are very busy. I've cried floods x

OP posts:
terilou87 · 11/12/2013 23:52

Aww how awful, you are better off without some one who treats you and your kids like that! I don't really have any useful advice as iv never been in your position but a very big unmumsnetty hug(( )) hope things start looking up for you soon x

Original poster
mumof3xxx · 11/12/2013 23:53

Thank you .. Words can't explain how it feels x

OP posts:
Inglori0us · 12/12/2013 10:04

What a bastard. I'm so sorry you're going through this. xxx

LastOneDancing · 12/12/2013 10:12

So sorry OP. Well done for being so strong in difficult circumstances.

What a total, utter shit he is. I hope he's completely gutted that he's lost his family through his selfish, disgusting behaviour.

justhayley · 12/12/2013 11:12

Arh Hun that's terrible especially when your at your most vulnerable.

Playing devils advocate here but do you know if he has physically / actually cheated or is it all talk? (not that I think that's at all acceptable).
Your very strong to throw him out, but if he hasn't physically cheated do you think with a break & sometime you could possibly put things back together?
Has he done anything like this before?

I saw my best friend go through this with her husband at 6 months pregnant, it's heartbreaking.

My heart goes out to you & your family xxxx

Spaghettinetti · 12/12/2013 11:52

What an arse. Whether or not he has physically cheated he is still an arse. I do however, think justhayley is right, you need to know what has been going on. You've been betrayed but the 'level' of betrayal may help you to determine whether you can forgive him and take him back or not. What has his response been? Will all of this impact on how you feel about your pregnancy? I really, really feel for you. Xxx

Original poster
mumof3xxx · 12/12/2013 12:47

Thanks everyone. He's said sorry and given all the words...
I found texts to a woman he met on dateline on his phone.. The text said how much he missed her which implies they have met up!! And god knows what else. He said he's never met her... I don't bileavable it because he told her he misses her!! I feel so sad.. I've cried buckets. He told loads of women how gorgeous they are etc..
I'm sad if had to throw him out so soon near Christmas but I'm it gona be made a fool of! Christmas was planned, the baby was planned, and he lied to me and lied to me until I saw it myself. I'm in shock and heart break. Thank god iv got my little girls to keep me smiling.
I don't know where to turn. All he's done is say sorry...
I'm crying even more bcos I'm pregnant. I haven't told any family yet that I'm pregnant, and now we've split up I feel stupid and embarrassed. I'm gona be pregnant on my own.

I can not forgive him. He's done it before, I gave him a chance and he's done it again. He's offers to take so man women out when m at home cooking his dinner and bringing up his babies. I know I deserve better even if it takes 20 years! :( :( :( x

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 12/12/2013 12:55

Oh mum - my heart goes out to you, what an awful, awful thing to discover. Nothing I say will be able to convey how furious I feel of your behalf. I feel like calling your husband all kinds of names under the sun but I doubt it will help so I will jut think them instead. You really, really don't deserve this but that goes without saying, no woman does. The fact that he has done this before and you gave him another chance just shows what kind of 'man' he is. Stay strong and stay focused on your beautiful children - remember to try and look after yourself for the sake of the pregnancy.

Have you posted about this on the Relationships Forum? I have been over there a few times and the responses are so warm and reassuring and come from women who've been through the same thing and can really understand how you feel. They are great at giving advice and helping you to see things more clearly.

FWIW - I know you have children and now another on the way but I think you are right to say you can't forgive him and can't stay with him. Stating together for the sake of children doesn't work. My parents split up when I was 4 (also due to marital affair) and it has never had any negative effect. My sister on the husband stayed with her cheating partner because she felt it would be better for the children and it was just awful for all involved, especially her.

You are being so strong and brave even if you don't feel it x x

Original poster
mumof3xxx · 12/12/2013 13:02

Thank you for ur nice reply. It is a horrid feeling!!
I know my girls will be ok because they've got me.. I think it hurts more that its near Christmas,,, Christmas Eve will be just me and the girls.. Christmas morning etc... I feel like I don't ever want him near me again.. Not even near my daughters for a long long while! Now I feel sad about being pregnant because its a nasty experience already x

OP posts:
ChicaMomma · 12/12/2013 13:13

God, what a toe-rag he is. God give you strength over the coming weeks and months. You have your girls and you will all have a great life together, regardless of what this dick has done to you. i wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy and know some day in the future you will (i promise) realise he did you a favour. it will take some time though, but it will happen. Hugs.

Original poster
mumof3xxx · 12/12/2013 13:14

Thankyou so much xxxxxx

OP posts:
Peanutsmummy2be · 12/12/2013 13:18

Really dont know what to say but didnt want to read & run.
What a dick. Big hugs to you & thinking of you xx

Trinpy · 12/12/2013 13:28

Just wanted to say, I think you made the right decision to end the relationship, even though I know it's hard and the timing is awful.

Sorry if you've already answered this but do you have plenty of support from friends and family? I second what pp said about posting on the relationships board. Lots of good advice and support on there. They're very good with the practical side too, e.g. sorting out finances and access.

I'm sure your dds will have an amazing Christmas at home with you Smile .

Original poster
mumof3xxx · 12/12/2013 13:58

Thank you. Il make sure the girls have a lovely christmas.. Nothing would ever effect that. I make sure of it.
Iv got a great mum and dad who I don't see much but they're on the other end of the phone. It's just scary goi through 9 months of pregnancy alone. X

OP posts:
getagoldtoof · 12/12/2013 19:57

Have you told anyone you're expecting? Please don't feel embarrassed or stupid - that's how he should feel. And I'm sure he is and certainly will.

You must feel absolutely distraught and at such a vulnerable time, too. If you've got any pals or family you could turn to, now is the time you'll need it most. X

puntasticusername · 12/12/2013 20:08

What a miserable fuckwit. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I hope he soon realises how very stupid he's been and what he's now lost as a result! Thanks to you.

Original poster
mumof3xxx · 12/12/2013 20:15

Thank you everybody. Your all so lovey! I don't even feel pregnant now, I can't get into the swing of it at all! It's totally and completely sent me of the excitement etc... I wana fast forward 9 months now ... I look at pregnancy apps and books and sites and think...nth is is sad sat on my own with no1 to share it with xx

OP posts:
Sasafraz · 12/12/2013 20:40

Oh my heart goes to you. Specially in Xmas time; your poor daughters and what an a@@ he is to do this despite having a lovely family. He seems extremely immature if you ask me. Will you be okay financially? I am sorry that you are going through this

Naomilouise1992 · 13/12/2013 00:19

Aww babe I'm so so sorry!!! U be happy with ur daughters and baby on the way! My ex got me to have an anprtion after trying for a year. And found out after te hospital, he had been cheating , he took me to the hospital from the girls house! Best thing he could of done to me tho! cuz now with the life of my life and 8 weeks left! Xx stay strong xxx

Original poster
mumof3xxx · 13/12/2013 20:28

Thanks. It's so hurtful. Don't no wot to do for the kids etc x

OP posts:
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