SPD and toddler...um, how?!

[Misty9]

Pain is really ramping up (22wks) and today had full screaming meltdown on pavement from ds (2.3) who wanted to be carried and wouldn't go in the pushchair. He also wants constant carries at home...and I'm off full time with him again from 26wks

How do I do this?! Will my pelvis survive?!

I can really sympathise with you misty. I had SPD with dd2 and dd1 was about 18 mths at the time. Couldn't even take her upstairs got naps or lift her in and out of her cot. Afraid I can't offer any advice but just wanted you to know I feel your pain.

Uh.. you just, um. Well. I have no clue and muddle by. I have no family (or friend) support and this is my third SPD-plagued pregnancy with a toddler of a very similar age (my age gaps are 26, 29 and will be 35 months) and it's really kicked in big time again this past month.

Survival mode. Every day you get through is a victory.

Tactics I use:

Bribes to get them in the pushchair, or at least incentives of some kind.

Thick skin at ignoring judgey people when I can't just "pick them up" when out in public. I'm using a Little Life backpack for DS at times, and although it is sore, I can drag him to vertical with it (not that his legs will do anything other than jelly most times!) if needs be. I'm sure some people are appalled. They could offer to help especially as I sometimes have a crutch in the other hand, but no.. they'd rather just tut.

Asking strangers for help (have never done this, am too shy, but I know some people are able to)

Stairgates everywhere, better babyproofing so that I can leave them in a room whilst I cook, visit the bathroom etc without them coming with me.

Being prepared to let them cry more often. Lowering standards (okay, so they all jump on the sofa and the table now..)

Send them to full day nursery more often (expensive, but a lifesaver)

Beg DH to work from home more often (poor DH's career)

With my pregnancies with this one and DC3, I get poor DC1 (now 7) to help out a little.

Moan about it to people I'm an expert at that now!!

There is no solution, certainly not anything that works out perfectly for everyone. It's for a short time, previous standards just have to slip and finances have to be stretched and careers dented..

Feel your pain :(

Do you drive? That's the only thing which got me through. I used to drive ds1 to the train station, park up next to the tracks and watch the trains for ages. There was also a soft play centre nearby which I could park outside of.

I also stayed working for as long as possible (not much movement involved!) as it was easier being at work than at home with an active toddler.

Sorry, not much advice to offer except embrace CBeebies, nursery, if you can afford it, and lots of home based activities which dh can clear up for you when he comes home whilst you're having a soak in the bath upstairs!

Thanks all. Poor dh already works from home so does more than his bit to help out, and unfortunately driving also hurts so I'm not sure how much of that I'll be able to do.

Bribery I can do though! I've thought of getting one of the little life backpacks too but have already overspent on ds for Christmas so may investigate that. The main issue is his reverting back to mummy mummy mode (he had rejected me in favour of daddy when I went back to work) and when I hear his little voice saying 'mummy cuddle' I find it very hard to flat out refuse, while i can still physically do it :( I know I'll have to get tougher though. I can see us being regulars at soft play from January!

Soft play for small children is a brilliant distraction, but as I discovered recently, letting them loose in those huge warehouses full of netting seems like a good idea until they need rescuing. This rescue operation is seemingly not very compatible with an unstable pelvis

So long as you can lock them in the "under 3s" bit (or equivalent) or there is nothing for older children you'll be okay!

TV babysitter gets used a lot. I figure a few months of extra screentime will probably not mean GCSE failures.