Friend being negative

[MummyPig24]

I have a lovely friend who has twins who are 5 and a 2yr old. She keeps being really negative about me having my 3rd child.

I have a 6yr old and dd will be 4 on my due date . I know she is probably only trying to be helpful but she keeps saying things like "oh 3 is totally different, much harder than 2." "3 is a lot more work. Good luck."

I'm trying not to worry and I'm blissfully pretending everything will be fine but she seems dead set on putting me off!

Good point terilou- twins + a toddler is probably the equivalent of having 4 children really! It's really horrible though that she's being negative instead of supportive, it's just not v nice.

I've had the opposite - we have one child (our choice) and people have said to me 'it would be so much easier with two' .

'Competitive fertility' - great expression!

i have a friend Ragwort who also (by choice) doesnt want a second child, she said the amount of people who've said '''aww, is it not a being lonely being an only child?'' is just unbelievable.

While we're having a whinge, i am still SHOCKED at the amount of people who asked me when we came back from honeymoon was there 'any news'- there is just no way in hell i'd ever ask someone that question, i think it's rude and insensitive, imagine if we'd been having problems? there's nowt as queer as folk, and nowt queerer again when it comes to reproduction it seems. All goes back to the Competitive Fertility if you ask me! all of it!!

I'm pg with dc2 and it seems that the very people who did nothing but ask me when we were going to have a second child (from when dd was about 18 months) are the same ones who are now telling me how hard its going to be! You can't win..

No excuse I have twins and toddler literally 11 months between toddler and twins .. plus 2 older dc.

I wouldn't dream of saying this to anyone. Some people are so rude!

Everyone has there bad days but you don't tell a pregnant woman things like that .. unless they ask how hard it is .. then you sugar coat :)

So what exactly are you supposed to take from her "helpful" comments.

I assume she is feeling jealous, bitter or some other ignoble emotion. Front her out?

Good luck with everything. It will be great. My DSis said her 3rd was her easiest. You must get better with practice - like pancakes

I don't know. I mean, I really, really like her. She is a great woman. But maybe she is finding it hard. She is not from this country so she doesn't have much family, although her sibling is here and helps a lot. And her twins are positively angelic, I think the youngest was a clingy baby but not now. I guess she may be having a hard time.

I know it's going to be busy and hard at times but I'm hoping that my two will love having a new sibling and enjoy taking on responsibility of being the "big ones".