Twins

[scater]

Hi all

Have a thread in chat at the moment but just wondered if anyone else is expecting twins?

We found out at an early scan last week and am now 8+5. It explains lots. This is an anxious pregnancy following our first daughter being stillborn so I am an anxious mess.

Today's anxiety: no nausea. Who knows what tomorrow's will be

Would love to hear from others expecting twins, we can pretend to drink and if not sick, eat instead.

Are you showing already, Scater? I'm huge!

Yep, had to put maternity trousers on. I am also on blood thinning injections so looks like babies are kicking my tummy from the inside

Congratulations all pregnant twin ladies. Twins are just the BEST. My girls are 20 months now. I won't pretend it's been a doddle but gosh it's worth it. And blimey I remember the shock too...tbh I'm possibly still in it .

I've been writing a twin blog since a couple of months before they were born. Bit of a brain dump/scream/excuse to show off pics, but hopefully there are some tips and hints hiding amongst it. V happy to talk to people privately on email too. Us twinnies need to band together!

likepeasinapod.com/

thanks stinking, great to see your blog!

Thanks stinking: I think I've come across your blog by googling! It's ace!

Scater: I am so sorry about your daughter. I completely understand why you're feeling so anxious about this pregnancy. Do you think that the more frequent checks and scans that come with a twin pregnancy will make you feel more or less anxious?

It's lovely to hear twin parents being so wonderfully positive about the experience! When I think about the logistics of looking after 3 children under the age of 2.5, I break out in a cold sweat. How do you manage bath-time with a toddler and baby twins? And I don't even know what to do about a buggy. I guess we're thinking about getting 2 cots, and having one upstairs and one downstairs; and trying to get them into a routine very early. But beyond that, I'm just a bit all-over-the-place...

Yes, routine is your friend. We were ruthless, and therefore ended up with them both sleeping through from about 6 weeks, thank bloomin' God!

Ours slept in moses baskets quite happily (same one at the beginning, soooo cute!) downstairs during the day, and then the cot (again, same one for a few months) at night, or if it was going to be noisy downstairs.

Bath times - guess it depends how biddable the toddler is. Am not sure there's be enough space for them and the twins to bath together, as when they were wee I had them in reclining chairs so I wasn't trying to hold them both...

I think one of the things I wish I'd fully absorbed early on is the contentment that comes from accepting 75% is still an A, IYKWIM. So, for instance, you don't need to bathe them every night (shock horror). One triplet Mum I know didn't bathe hers at all for the first 3 months, just wiped them!!

On tandem feeding (sorry, answering random questions!) - if it works, it's great. Give it a whirl but demand LOADS of help in hospital to get it established as you're needing to pump out twice the quantity and it's bloomin' hard heaving two babies around, especially if you've had a CS. You definitely need one of the horseshoe shaped cushions which fit round your midriff and positions them under your boobs. Practise with dolls having the twins either side of you on a sofa and then hauling them into place on the cushion one handed (in fact, practise with dolls in general eg taking two downstairs, out of cot, back into cot etc).

I had a pretty horrendous hospital BF experience so mine were mixed feed from the start. which is kind of the worse of both worlds - being trapped by BF but having the faff of bottles. But hey, we survived, and it was during the Olympic summer so I had the perfect excuse to veg on the sofa!

Other tip - unlike singletons, you can't give one boob a few hours off. So it can get v sore v quickly. Invest beforehand in nipple shields (I had to send DP off on a mercy dash when I saw blood around DTD's mouth!) and also Jellonet (can buy off Amazon). They're impregnated dressings that I think are normally used for burns, but they worked brilliantly for me.

Thanks for the nice comments about the blog .

Wow, stinking - I'd love to hear more about your ruthless routine! Sleeping through at 6 weeks is a fantastic achievement!

I did 3 hourly feeding when they first came back from hospital and then gradually stretched it out to 4 hours (they were decent weights and no complications). I think it helped that night time = cot upstairs, dark, quiet, own room. Plus there were probably 3 days when I had to do controlled crying (if that's the right word) ie if they were fed, clean, healthy, then I gave them 2 minutes/4 minutes/8 minutes etc. Hellish, but it paid off.

We had a 6pm feed, woken up at 10pm, 2am and 6am. When they were reluctant to wake at 2am, tried dropping that, and they still slept through to 6am. Kept on with the 10pm one for a good month, but then phased that out too and they still slept through.

I followed the timetable in Gina Ford's Contented Little House With Twins book. I ignored pretty much everything else she said (eg feeding them separately!!) but the timetables are handy and they change each couple of months. I defended the routine almost viciously and DP and I had our fair few rows about it when he wanted to go out/take them to someone's house/was saying oo an hour won't hurt. I don't think I permitted a minute's change for the first 6 months. And they're still little creatures of habit now aged almost 2.

It's funny you know, everyone goes, oo, twins, double trouble. But most of the other twins I know are some of the calmest, most routine-focussed children I know. I think it's because (unless you're a complete masochist) you have no option but to be pragmatic/mechanical about things...so they tend to have been in a routine since birth, unlike a lot of singletons where you have the luxury of being able to cater to individual demands. But I think that gives them a sense of security. Their little world is predictable. One of my friends is now panicking a bit because her pre-schoolers still need their lunchtime nap and she's got less than a year to wean them off it...

The single hardest thing I found in the early days with the girls was the Sophie's Choice I would have to make if they were both crying. It's nigh on impossible to pick up and comfort two wriggly babies at the same time. And when you choose one, you can't really cuddle them properly because you're distracted by the other one's sobs, as are they.

The only way to stop this happening is to make sure they don't cry in the first place. And I really found that the comfort blanket of almost chiselling the routine into their bones helped.

Oh and PS, forgot slightly major point! I had a maternity nurse Mon-Fri for the first 6 weeks. DP was working 400 miles away, I had a AS teenager doing A levels, had had EMCS etc...but tbh would recommend whatever your circumstances if you can afford one.

She was of huge practical and emotional help. Plus I think the fact she'd looked after 30 sets of twins gave me the confidence to think, right, if I do x/y/z they won't die. She was really practical/sensible/routine focussed but also just so relaxed about everything. I think if she hadn't been there I would have been much more nervous and whisking them out of their cots at the first whimper.

If you can find the money, I'd seriously think about it. The greatest benefit I think a twin-expert one gives you is peace of mind. The PILs paid for her as their present. Soooooooo grateful!

Sorry, more blog pushing...this is a post I wrote for people who've just found out they're having twins, so might be a helpful read. I've just skimmed it and actually it looks like I did 7pm-7am not 6pm-6am. Blame the muffling effect of time!

I got a few negative comments (understandably) about doom mongering about hospital/PND etc...It will probably all be absolutely fine for you, but I just think it helps to prepare for the worst, as then you can enjoy the best, IYKWIM.

likepeasinapod.com/2013/04/12/youre-having-twins-lawks/

Right, will stop scribbling now .

Thanks for all your input stinking.

How are others finding the nausea? After a day off it on Monday it's back with avengance for me.

Managed to eat breakfast and it's already down the toilet

I'm finding there is no consistency to the things that make me want to retch. Today the smell of dh coffee was the worst thing ever.

Stinking - thank you SO much for sharing your secrets! Your post was fantastically useful! I'm definitely up for a routine-based approach. I had a terrible time breastfeeding DD1, with recurrent hospital admissions for mastitis, so I'm thinking that this time around I'll bf for the first few weeks, but that they'll basically be formula fed. My sense is that formula feeding is probably a bit easier to fit to a routine anyway.

I'm also interested to hear that you found a maternity nurse helpful. We can't really afford it, but we're thinking about looking for one who might be happy to do it part-time. DP and I are lucky enough to be able to both take the first 6 months off work together, so there'll be two of us: but I'd really like the promise of a couple of nights' sleep per week, especially after a c-section. And I'd also really like some help getting the twins into a routine, as well as allowing us to spend a bit of one-to-one time with DD1. But I don't really know how to go about finding a nurse. You're not based in London, are you? if so, I'd love a recommendation!

Scater - oh, sympathy about the "morning" sickness. It's just grim, isn't it? Today I left the house, and realised it was basically the first time I'd had a proper burst of fresh air for 2 months! It's so depressing feeling like sh*t all the time :-(

Hi, I'm expecting twins in April, I'm 21 weeks now. I just found out last week that I'm having a girl and a boy, so definitely not identical.

It took me and DH a good three weeks to get over the shock of finding out we're having twins. Now I feel like it'll be challenging, but I feel really lucky that we're having them. Give yourself time to get used to the idea

As for symptoms, I had no sickness or anything. I was just super tired, I've never felt fatigue like it. I have an 18 month old who'll be just under 2 when they arrive, and the hardest thing is her needing to be active all the time, when I can't be bothered!

I have found the group on the multiple births thread under pregnancy really supportive too.

Xx

I too am worried about the logistics of other children with twins. My youngest will be 3 y 1 m and 19 months. I also have a nine year old who as aspergers and a 15 year old. Am am bit anxious about meeting all their needs at once.

bodeccia be prepared for people to stop you in the street and the following conversation to occur:

Old Lady: oo, are they twins?
You: yes
Old Lady: are they one of each?
You: yes, boy and a girl
Old Lady: are they identical?
You:

Molly I was in London when they were first born (another top tip, do NOT move one month before they're born and then 6 months after!!!) Will PM you her details when I find them.

Today I am being mrs anxious again. Last night I dreamt I miscarried and it was pretty graphic. Whenever I look on forums it always seems to be sad stories of late losses etc. having had one I can't just put it out of my mind.

I want to be positive and think about logistics and worry about childcare costs. Need.to.think.positive

Hope you are all well. A boy and a girl is just lovely:)