12 days till my c section and I'm terrified!!!

[caitlinsurrey]

Im going into hospital in 12 days for my second c section and I'm terrified. Every time i talk to DH he tells me to stop worrying and its going to be fine etc and i know i sound ridiculous but i have this overwhelming sense of impending doom, i sound crazy right even reading that back i think I'm crazy but i just feel so scared :( i keep crying thinking what if it all goes wrong this time and i never see DS ever again. The nerves are killing me. The stupid thing is my first c section went really well and recovery was fine so why am i stressing out?? Last time i got ZERO sleep in 72 hours, i just couldn't sleep on the ward and DS was feeding non stop and I'm worried about that lack of sleep feeling also. Hospitals make me feel really odd and anxious like all i want to do is run home (bit hard after a c section ha)

MIL has also started arraigning visits already! She's booked the day off I'm due to come home if all goes to plan to come round with her family. Last time i came home from hospital the day i came home i slept all afternoon and was establishing feeding etc and this time i will have my 3 year old DS so I want to get him settled with the baby and sleep and feed and really don't want hoard of people turing up. Am i being selfish my mum thinks i am, she said MIL is being helpful arranging it now? wtf??

Any ideas how to overcome this would be really welcome or just tell me I'm an idiot and maybe I will man up!

Never had a c-section so cant help there but certainly wouldn't be letting the whole family descend on the day I got back

DH needs a word I think.

Hugs. I'd feel exactly the same as you - I was terrified before my elcs with dd and also hate hospitals. I'm hopeful of a vbac this time but still scared it's going to end in c section (due next week - eek!). I think all we can do is try to be rational - statistically the chances of anything going wrong are minute, especially with a planned section, soon it will all be over and (in my case anyway) will never be repeated....! You've done it once and know you've got the strength to get through it, you can ask to come home as soon as you feel able.
Could you compromise with mil and maybe ask her not to bring the whole family over, just come by herself to help look after your ds? Or ask her to delay a few days? I'm sure if you explain about how you felt last time she might understand.
Hope it all goes really well.

I can sympathise, i was totally terrified of my section but most people around you take no notice of your feelings as they are full of excitement. They don't mean any harm by but people just don't seem to see a section as a major procedure. Definitely ask family to back off a bit, I found that explaining why helped, establishing feeding etc. Tell them the first visit will have to be a short one. They'll get over it! Good luck OP!

I had the same feeling recently. I had a feeling of doom and had convinced myself I was going to die. I'm now sitting with 4 week old ds snuggled in while dd plays with her dolls house. The feeling of relief when we both came out of the theatre safely was amazing! My recovery was great (better than vaginal birth) and I've never been happier! There's probably nothing anyone can say to take the anxiety away but think how good you'll feel afterwards when you're both safe and well.

This is so odd; I could've wrote your post (bar the MIL part).

First section was fine; hate being away from home and from DD1 and especially hated (not)sleeping in the ward.

When the time came for the second section, I had the exact same sense of impending doom and was petrified.

Just gave birth 2 weeks ago, the surgery went even better than the first, only stayed 2 days in the hospital, the recovery time was much shorter and the bleeding already stopped completely (first time it took 8 weeks!).

You'll be fine; I think when you already have a child the stakes are higher and you have a much keener sense of your mortality so that might be why you're stressing so much.

Best of luck!

Thanks so much for everyones posts its made me feel 100% better x

They are the selfish ones putting their own wishes over those of someone who has just had surgery.

I spoke to mil this evening but she wasn't getting it. all she said was how exhausting breastfeeding sounds and could I not take sleeping pills in hospital!

I know how you feel. I have my second elcs booked in for next Friday. Last time all I was scared of was the needles. Now I don't worry about needlez so much its the op and recovery on the ward afterwards.

I know the hospital I am going to is hit and miss on the care you get. I am panicking about the first night with the baby and looking after him without my dp there to pass him up etc.

And I am worried about falling asleep whilst bfing and either squashing him or dropping him. I would be happier with a mattress on the floor.

The only thing I keep telling myself is that I know what to expect this time and it's not so bad. And both me and dd lived to tell the tale!

And get your dh to tell your mil to fuck off. Simples

froubylou I love it! I will have to get DH to tell her not to come round as she clearly won't listen to me. I never put DS down when I was in last time partly because I couldn't reach for the little plastic cot and mainly because he was on my boob a lot. Don't be worried about squashing him the nurses are always around so just ask for help with picking up putting him down. I hope everything goes well for you x