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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

present for wife when she becomes mother for the first time

91 replies

boro1234 · 28/11/2013 18:11

Hi. Firstly I am a first time dad to be due mid feb and secondly apologies if this is not the right area for this type of question.
My wife and I have taken a long time to get pregnant and finally it has worked through ivf on third go. She has been through a lot to get to this point so when the baby girl is born I want to get my wife a present but something she will really appreciate. I was thinking a new set of clothes to make her feel a bit glamorous again after the pregnancy. I don't want to get her something just because I think she will like it. I would rather know what new mums think instead. Any ideas appreciated. Thank you.

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Bunbaker · 28/11/2013 21:54

Is it me or am I the only one who thinks it is a bit grabby to expect jewellery?

NewBlueCoat · 28/11/2013 21:58

who expected it?

I certainly didn't, and had no idea dh would buy something so expensive after having dd1 (althoug I should have,I suppose, as he is a stickler for tradition).

and even then, I didn't expect it after dd2. nor after ds.

but, dh wanted to buy something. something which would last forever, and remind us both of those lovely newborn days.

Purplehonesty · 28/11/2013 22:02

Eternity ring definitely. I love mine and it was such a lovely gesture.
For dd he bought me diamond necklace and earrings which are lovely too but not so wearable as my ring which I have on every day in place of my engagement ring which is too 'sticky uppy' and I tend to scratch baby with it!

mrsannekins · 28/11/2013 22:09

Aren't you lovely. I would say that saying that you will do more than your share of the cooking/cleaning/washing and keeping your word is more than enough in the early days. Everything will be very new and scary to you, so try and be kind to each other. Remember to give your wife lots of cuddles and always make sure she has a huge bottle of water, snacks and tv remote handy when she sits down for the 3 hours marathon that is the evening cluster breast feed.

Then when the dust has settled and you both are getting to grips with this parenthood malarkey, you can move on to bigger and brighter (eternity ring shaped) things, or if you don't have one already an Ipad or e-reader..I think my brain really would have leaked out of my ears if I didn't have my iphone to keep connected to the world with!

Good luck with it all x

Grumpla · 28/11/2013 22:19

When my ds1 was born I didn't change a single nappy until he was about a week old. My husband did it all. He helped me stand up and wee in the shower when it was too painful to sit on the loo. He constantly made me snacks and drinks without me asking, because I was too tired to even think about what I wanted to eat. Magical little plates of loveliness just appeared next to wherever I had collapsed. He cleaned the house. He told me I was his hero.

He was a brilliant husband in those first few weeks. Even now when he does things that really fucking annoy me I think back to that time and it makes me smile. Way more than a diamond ring would.

Also, NEVER tell your wife you are tired. Not for at least the first two years. EVER.

JoyceDivision · 28/11/2013 22:40

Yes, you will get to play Competitive Tiredness!

This is a fun game where two parties try to show that they are the most tired party, but without ever saying 'I'm more tired than you'. For example, couple flop on sofa after work and getting dc to bed. 1st person says how they hardly slept last night, got up for the feeds, have done the ironing, head really hurts, 2nd person will say how its been really busy at work, they gpt up innight because dc wascrying, and other party must have dropped offbackl to sleep ok as they were asleep when other person got up to check on dc in night, and then got shopping on way home... continue with each person trying to out do other whislt playing it down

Dh often mentions competitive tiredness when we look back on baby days!

MrsMaryCooper · 29/11/2013 07:24

I didn't expect jewellery, I'm just telling the OP what I was given.

DowntonTrout · 29/11/2013 07:42

I agree that a ring or jewellery is the way to go. No one "expects" it, but it is a lovely gesture.

When I had my 3rd DC I got a housekeeper. Well, she was my cleaner but DH paid her to come in for a few hours each morning to clean, do the ironing, bake bread and prepare meals. It meant that after broken nights I could laze in bed feeding baby and sleeping when she did. For the first few weeks I didn't have to worry about doing anything but looking after baby and it was bloody brilliant.

Pearlsaplenty · 29/11/2013 08:03

Well my dp took me shopping a few weeks after having ds and he insisted I take some time to have a look for a special dress.

I chose a gorgeous (and quite expensive dress) which was fantastic for 6 months post natal as it fit me wonderfully and was very forgiving of my excess baby weight.

It even fit well once I lost some of the weight and I know it will get more wear now for a few months in early pregnancy and then again after I have the baby (am pregnant again).

So I wouldn't rule out clothes, but maybe encourage her to have a look and she may be lucky in finding something she loves :)

Original poster
boro1234 · 29/11/2013 08:28

Thanks again to everyone. Really glad i asked and i now know to wait until a bit later to get any clothes. As i said earlier, i like the eternity ring idea (maybe from the place i designed her engagement ring at), i will take a holiday for a week 8 weeks in, will have champagne cheeses and roses for when she arrives home. Of course i will do the night time feeds etc and change nappies. I will make sure she has plenty of snacks and make lots of food to put in the freezer. Something to keep her warm during the night this winter is on the list (being mindful of sick related practicalities). i promise to make sure i will look back at this thread and have done all of it. Most of all i'm looking forward to being a dad. Hope everyone has a smooth pregnancy. Thanks again.

OP posts:
Charotte31 · 29/11/2013 08:33

I got some new ray bans when I had my DD! :)

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 29/11/2013 08:38

Things I wanted / used post birth:

Dressing gown and slippers
Pate
Prawns
Rose wine
Lots of sleep!

worldgonecrazy · 29/11/2013 08:44

The greatest gift my husband gave me was staying up for the first three nights, so I could sleep. He just brought our daughter up to bed when she needed feeding.

Another lovely thing, which was from my parents, was minding my daughter for a couple of hours so I could get my hair cut and feel a bit glamorous again. That was when she was 2 weeks old.

And patience - the greatest gift of all, when those hormones were all over the place.

Although, having said that, I only changed 5 pooey nappies for the first couple of months, so that was also a really nice "present" to a new mum.

Fairylea · 29/11/2013 08:49

One of the nicest things dh did for me was to give me some clothes vouchers so I could treat myself to whatever I wanted (this was several weeks post birth, not straight away) and then offered to look after ds on his own for the whole day so I could have a day to myself to spend the vouchers..... just an idea.

Chocolatemolehill · 29/11/2013 18:23

I may be biased here as I'm a photographer but a family/newborn photo session can be a nice thing. I realise that right after the birth many women don't feel at their best physically but a good photographer will manage to reassure her and take beautiful images of the three of you that you will treasure forever.
And by the way-it's so nice of you to think about this. If only all men were like this! Your wife is a lucky woman. Congratulations to you both and I wish you a smooth pregnancy.

AngiBolen · 29/11/2013 18:27

Clothes? Oh, dear Lord, no!

Jewelery. Definately jewlery. Somthing to symbolise the baby.

McBaby · 29/11/2013 18:56

I got an iPad totally unexpectedly and v useful with a baby who cluster fed for 4 hours every night.

FastWindow · 29/11/2013 19:11

Massive sausage pillow. For bf and getting into awkward positions when getting dc to sleep.

JanieLovesLuckySocks · 29/11/2013 19:29

Wow boro, if only all men were like you!! She's a lucky lady :)

SweetPea86 · 29/11/2013 19:45

What a nice thing to think of what a lovely guy you are plus I love your name boro 1234 as I'm from middlesbrough :p

An eternity ring is a nice and very thoughtful idea

stargirl1701 · 29/11/2013 19:47

iPad. Useful for everything including Mumsnetting when feeding baby!

BertieBowtiesAreCool · 29/11/2013 19:53

The night settling and nappies are a given surely Grin

I think that jewellery and a selection of pregnancy-banned foods are perfect :) If she's breastfeeding then alcohol is OK but breastfeeding or not she might not feel like drinking. Also if the baby is sleeping in your bed (which isn't always something you plan in advance!) then alcohol is forbidden, but other than that :)

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 29/11/2013 19:57

Yes, please do add "for you" onto anything baby related

"Ill change his appy for you"
"Ill get this feed for.you"

puntasticusername · 29/11/2013 20:10

Everyone else got here first with the good ideas - I just wanted to say you sound lovely, and congratulations!

Batmam · 29/11/2013 20:12

My best friend got a Mulberry handbag and purse with her 1st so after dropping several hints I expected big things - but got sod all! It was an eternity ring I wanted like several others have said, but I also like the idea of getting one of those after you've had the last of your kids and have their names engraved inside. I would feel like a bit of a fraud asking for an eternity ring after only 3 years of marriage!