Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

can anyone help, im struggling...

4 replies

lauraloo65 · 27/11/2013 11:54

                    My name is Laura im 20. Last year me and my partner found out I was pregnant. We lost the baby at 3 months due to miscarriage, I was heartbroken. This year weve got a privately rented flat together and we both have jobs. My desire to become a mother is destroying me. My mom is due in 19 days time, and my close friends all are either expecting or have a baby. Recently my partner of 2 years told me he doesnt see himself having children. However before he told me this we decided to try for a baby when I was most fertile, as he had told me he wanted a family. Suddenly a week or 2 later, he told me he wasnt ready and then a day later he never wants children. 

He knew how much I wanted children, and he didnt ever tell me that he didnt.

I feel like im being torn apart, and I'm worried about how im going to cope when my new little brother arrives. I love my partner with all my heart but I feel like my feelings arent being considered and im being messed about. What do I do?

OP posts:
Cariad007 · 27/11/2013 12:42

Can I ask why you are so keen to have a baby right now? You’re only 20 – you have a good 15-20 years ahead of you where you can have a child. Have you considered getting some counselling to help you deal with the miscarriage?

LittlePeaPod · 27/11/2013 12:44

Hi Laura,

Firstly sorry for your loss. I mc in Feb/March this year and its heart breaking. the situation you are in is very difficult. Unfortunately if your DP really doesn't want children then there isn't much you can do about it. At least he is been honest and not stringing you along by saying maybe in a year or two. You can't force someone into having children if they don't want one. You may need to really consider what is more important, having a baby or staying in a relationship with your DP. Because if he really doesn't want children and you do then you may need to split up and find someone that does want children. You are still young and you have plenty of time.

I hope you don't mind but may I suggest that you consider moving this thread to Relationships. Lots of people there have come across these types of situations before.

Emmallie · 27/11/2013 12:58

Sending hugs, unmumsnetty or not. I haven't any wise words but I know how awful feelings like this can be. I'm so sorry for your loss.

PaulaFletch14 · 27/11/2013 13:41

Hi Laura
So sorry for your loss
I can understand where you are coming from. I was married for 10 years to my ex husband and we were together for 15. He strung me along for years saying he wanted kids finally he admitted he didn't deep down I knew this but hoped. I finally left him two years ago. I'm now 39 I've met the man of my dreams and I'm 7 weeks pregnant. Please don't do what I did thinking someone may change

All my best wishes and hugs xxxx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page