Not in a good place! (long-ish)

[LastOneDancing]

I've always struggled with my weight. I was a 'big girl' all through high school & uni. A fair amount of teasing/ nasty comments/ being the butt of jokes occurred.

Got a grip in my mid 20's lost a load & have maintained a healthy weight for about 10 years. I have to be super sensible or I still gain weight really easily.

Now I'm 21 weeks pregnant, I wasn't super strict (fed the 12 weeks of nausea), stopped exercising (gave in to the fatigue) and have so far gained 20lb. People keep saying 'is it twins' and other silly thoughtless shit.

I'm a tough, and fairly positive cookie but Ive started to cry about this a lot, particularly when I incessantly see Mums to be who have been clever & sensible & stayed slim with tiny bumps, or hear them panicking over a 10lb gain I feel stupid & as if people are looking down on me (again).

Can anyone advise how I can I accept the damage & carry on enjoying this pregnancy? I know it's selfish & all my own fault, but my poor body image is spoiling the experience. I can't believe how stupid I was at the start. DH is lovely & supportive but unfortunately my spiteful inner voice trumps his kind words every time.

I'm very comforted by lots of the responses on this thread - OP i hope you have been too.
At my 34 wk midwife appointment today she made me feel really shitty, I have gained a fair amount and hadn't been keeping track, but have been trying to eat well so a bit puzzled.
Unfortunately recent and severe onset SPD means I can't start much exercise now but am hoping that my body knows what it's doing and weight will come off with breastfeeding.
I was at upper range of normal BMI at booking and midwife today said to me 'you know you are ALMOST OBESE now!! Eat more vegetables.' I almost smacked her across the face with my crutches. As I'm not getting taller isn't it pretty inevitable that my BMI would increase in pregnancy .... idiot !

Quack - very much so. The responses really buoyed me up & I'm starting afresh. I can't thank everyone enough, it's like 20lb weights Ben lifted.

I've arranged a few walks with friends and started my activity diary so feeling lots clearer and more centred on why this is happening ('dude, I'm pregnant!').

I'm so pleased its helped you too, and hopefully a few other mums to be have lurked by for support

Quack

that is nasty, poor you!

Dancing
I do hope you feel better. once baby is 6 weeks old and you have had your postnatal check up you can start gentle excersices - the best thing is to join a postnatal excercise group.

no sit ups or any abs work until the vertical abdominal muscles have returned to their original places - you could do a lot of damage if you start sit ups before your body is ready.

and I'm handing you both imaginary ear plugs to block out the noise that is caused by rude, nasty, critical and obnoxious twats.
you have gorgeous pregnant bodies that are working extra hard to grow your sweet little children.
nothing else matters!

You eat what you bloody want! Ur doing the best thing in the world bringing a child into this world! We can get rid I the weight when it's here!

Iv not been eating healthy I try to have fruit juice but I am obsessed with lucozade and fizzy pop and sweets! I didn't eat much at beginning was really fussy! But now I'm 30 weeks I have about 3 little bottles of lucozade a day tried to cut down to one or 2 a week but now I'm drinkin fizzy water!

Iv got boobs like a woman from a tribe haha, and I'm in 14 clothes now rather that 10!

Enjoy being pregnant xxxxx

Quack that's horrible, and ridiculous! How on earth can your pregnancy weight be counted towards your BMI and how the hell would saying THAT help anyway?

My mum was always asking me how much weight I'd put on. When I told her, she would go "Hmmmm, it's too much, isn't it?"

Fuck. Off!

Indeed. I think my midwife is an incredibly stupid woman and I am not going back to her!
Plus she has no neck - at all!!

BigToes - I wondered that when I read Quacks post... how on earth does BMI work for pregnancy?! It's two people surely?!

I hope you gave her a face Quack!!