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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Work, or giving it up! Help!

11 replies

SparklyMasterMummy · 26/11/2013 08:35

Hi,

I'm currently 12 + 4 weeks pregnant, and had my scan yesterday! I have just started a new part time job which is quite physical and which involves mental healthcare. To be honest I am so tiered as I work 2 evenings a week and don't get in till midnight. My husband is now worried about the long hours and the chance of getting assaulted. We currently have a 3 year old DD, and DH has suggested that I could give up work (he currently has 2 jobs, and we would manage financially), I feel guilty doing this with him working so much, and while I would be a full time stay at home mum I feel like I would not be contributing enough.

I'm at a loss with what to do. A large part of me has been wishing that I could give up work and go back once the baby is at least 6 months old. I'm still training for my career, and this job was to gain some experience, so I'm not going to be harming my career by taking time out. The other part of me feels guilty for giving up work while DH is working 2 jobs, and I also worry about what people would think of me.

I guess I'm just asking for other peoples opinions.

Thanks

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BoohPear · 26/11/2013 08:37

Your work will have to do a risk assessment to make sure you're safe, have they done this yet?

If you can manage without working could you find things to sell on eBay etc so you're still bringing a little money in?

Original poster

SparklyMasterMummy · 26/11/2013 08:47

Hi BoohPear

Yes work have done a risk assessment, which has concluded that we need to be aware I am at risk of violence, chemical etc. And while I should try to avoid these it is also recognised that due to the nature of my job it will be very difficult/impossible.

The eBay idea sounds good, how do you go about finding things? car boots etc?

OP posts:

RaRa1988 · 26/11/2013 09:19

That doesn't sound terribly safe, Sparkly - surely they're supposed to remove you from danger, not just remind you it's there?! I mean, for example, paramedics are off front-line duty as soon as they announce their pg... I think work have a duty to remove you from any situation that could endanger you and your baby - so no assault risk, no running around, no heavy-lifting, etc.

If you did leave work, the Ebay idea is a good one. Or could you get some hours at a shop or cafe or something so you still feel useful and bring in some money?

Tomkat79 · 26/11/2013 09:26

Hi sparkly

I too work in health care and would love the opportunity not to have to work so grab this by both hands and spend your time chilling with your DD before new baby arrives and she goes to school! I took 3 years out when my DS was born and loved every minute of it. Don't forget that being a full time mum is exactly that....a full time job.

The thing with mental healthcare IMHO is they can do all the risk assessments they like it is still a very unpredictable environment. I work with the elderly and that can be the same.

Your DH already has 2 jobs so it's not as if he's saying he'll get another one, so no added guilt there.

Original poster

SparklyMasterMummy · 26/11/2013 09:26

Hi,

To explain a bit further I am a healthcare assistant within a mental health ward. As my duties involve patient care there is a risk of assault as they may kick off at any point. They can't remove me from this as I would not have a job to do if they did! To be honest they are not happy that I am pregnant at all and feel quite unsupported and like they feel I should just get on with it as it's 'my fault'.

I would be more than happy to get another job i.e in a cafe, but I'm not sure how likly it is that someone would employ me while being pregnant :/

Arg so stuck on what to do for the best

OP posts:

EeyoreIsh · 26/11/2013 09:32

Have a look at the government info on risk assessments when pregnant link here

if they can't remove you from risk, they should suspend you on full pay.

Original poster

SparklyMasterMummy · 26/11/2013 09:37

Thank you so much for the reply TomKat Tbh this is what I am leaning towards, and it would make DH feel a lot less stressed. I feel I am very lucky to be able to do this. I think it is hard for me and I have always worked, and when DD was a baby I completed my degree whilst working part-time as well, so I feel at a loss to have a lot less on my plate now.

You are completely right about the risk assessments and how tbh it doesn't make much difference! A lot of my friends and family don't quite understand this.

I suppose I also feel guilty that my DD will be at home with me and not at nursery with her friends, which she loves. But hen the new baby is here that'll change I'm sure!

Still umming and arhing, but I think tomorrow I'll sit down with DH and probably go with taking a break from work (can;t do it tonight, I'm working till midnight again)

OP posts:

Tomkat79 · 26/11/2013 10:10

I find in my job you can be talking to lovely old dear and then bang...she whacks you across the face, bless em! Love the moving and handling risk assessments, especially with only one hoist between 2 wards! I'm very lucky though on my ward, we have some great male hca's that don't let me lift anything! I don't really think the risk assessments are worth the paper they're written on in out kind of work environment...great for management though so if god forbid anything happened they can wave their paper and say we did cover this with the employee!

There's nothing to say DD can't spend time at nursery if you're a stay at home mum for a bit. As your pregnancy progresses you'll probably appreciate the peace!

You've done amazingly well to do a degree and work with a baby and now your cooking another one so cut yourself a little slack x

Original poster

SparklyMasterMummy · 26/11/2013 10:55

Thank you so much TomKat, I think it helps just to hear from someone other than DH that I would be fine cutting myself some slack for a bit! I'm just so use to go go go!

That is true about nursery, especially as DD will get the 15 free nursery hours in January, so I may just cut her down to 2 lots of 5 or something.

Feel I have made my mind up now :) and feel a lot better for it xx

OP posts:

RaRa1988 · 26/11/2013 11:27

That's what I was getting at, Eyore. Sparkly , I think you should speak to your employer about this... My example about paramedics was kinda pertinent: I've never asked exactly what they do when pg and not on front-line duty, but clearly it's not their usual job. Perhaps they move to Control; I'm not sure. But that's your employer's responsibility to figure out, not yours. And wouldn't it be better for you to be suspended on full pay than to leave your job?

Peacenquiet2 · 26/11/2013 11:36

Hi op, im also a mental health worker, a rmn in an inpatient secure male only unit. We hav sone physically aggressive patients and it IS a very demanding/tiring job. BUT I have continued to work as i cant imagine staying home full time just waiting for the babies arrival.

I make sure i dont take unneccesary or unassessed risks, and basically just watch my back with help from staff. Im now 25 weeks with dc3 and although the 12 hour shifts are tiring at times i am getting through them alright and will carry on as long as i feel up to it (being home with dc 1/2 is often more tiring! :-)).

On the other hand only you knows how you feel and if you dont feel able to carry on then that has to be your decision.
Im only telling you my situation so that you can see it is possible to carry on but you need to do what is best for you and your family.

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