So my DP has enormous shoulders.....will my baby be too big for little me?

[Charingcrossbun]

I know that women have been having babies for thousands of years etc but this is my first and I'm scared!

My DP is 6ft 1 with a rugby player build. I keep catching myself looking at his broad chest and big shoulders and wincing! I am 5ft with size 3 feet and so fairly petite.
My dear mother keeps telling me the baby's skeleton will be too big for my pelvis (this is part of her weekly have an ELCS Phonecall where she discusses the amount of stitches/infections she had with me and various horror stories from the 80s with friend fracturing pelvises and having trial by labour before smash and grab emcs).
My mother out law luckily is not one for grim details but she tells me with relish that DP was over 10lb and she spent a fortnight in hospital as she needed "rest" afterwards.
I'm not asking if I need a ELCS just hoping some people have more positive stories about childbirth with bigger babies - or indeed if I will have a bigger baby just because DP is bigger....

Nah, they are all kind of soft and squishy at that stage, once the head is out (thats the bit that can't really squish) then the shoulders will be pulled forward and together (imagine you are hunching and bringing your shoulders together) so it wont be nearly as bad as you are imagining. Also, the baby probably gets its genes from you, so will be all petite and you will just cough and sneeze, and there she/he will be!

Thank you JointheDots!! Just what I needed to hear! My DP does have a PHD but I'm hoping all those brains don't mean an abnormally large head.....

Worry not, I am a teeny weeny birdlike 5'1" and my DH is a 6 foot rugby player build (played rugby up to county level).

3 natural births, 2 at home, last one 20 minutes labour. No stitches for any of them. Your DM is talking crap. They were all 7lb something at birth - they grew after they came out (oldest one will definitely be tall)

BTW, despite being weeny now, I was actually a stonking 10lbs at birth & my mum had me at home no bother.

Ignore the scare stories - there are no guarantees but for the majority of women it is fine.

Everyone used to stay in hospital for a couple of weeks a generation ago - it was the norm, not something special because of the big baby!

My brother is 6"4 and built like a rugby player my mum is 5"2 and petite however he was only 6lb 12 when he was born. Also if your m/w thinks your baby is going to be too big you will have growth scans and something will be worked out from the result, FWIW I think your baby will be small like you, try not to worry to much

I can add a positive story too in the hope that it helps.

I'm 5ft 2 and petite built and my DP is although not very tall (about 5ft10/11) he is very broad and rugby playerish with huge shoulders.

Our DS was born weighing 8lb5 and was delivered naturally with just gas and air. I'm not going to lie, there was a degree of shoulder dystocia and yes I did need a small episiotomy but it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be and the actual pushing and delivering of ds part went much quicker (and easier) than I expected.

I'm now 31 weeks pg with DS2 who is measuring at the 90th centile on the scans but I'm not as worried as I was with DS1. People don't seem to love telling their horror stories with number 2.

I found it helped to tune out the horror stories and take the positive ones to heart.

My brother was just under 11lbs! And had big shoulders (still does) and although his shoulders got a little stuck the birth was straightforward and my mum recovered well.

The dimensions of the internal channel of the pelvis isn't related to other bodily measurements, whther 'petite' or not.

True disproportion is very, very, rare. It can be picked up by scanning.

Op...

Someone was saying this to me yesterday.

Im 5'2 & size8. Dp is 6'4 & built like a brick s**t house!

We're expecting our 4th dc. Our 1st was a tiny 5'15 baby. Now she's 12 & 5'8!

Ds's were 7'9 & 6'10 lbs. So not big but they grow like msd once they are born so by 3 month all my dc were much bigger then children of the same age.

I remember reading that we generally only grow babies as big as we are able to give birth to. Obviously there are some exceptions to that rule- not including diabetics or thyroid patients!

Take care & when people talk that sort of scary crap...stick your fingers in your ears & sing 'lalala'. They will take the hint (Smile)

I'm 5"11 well was pre ds and built like a twig. Dp is 6 foot something and ex rugby player. Ds was 8lb 4. and two weeks early. Had stitches with him but once the head popped out he literally rocketed out (sorry tmi . He's got his daddy's wide shoulders. I did have hip problems when I was pregnant with him and he was measuring top of the centile charts til only a couple of weeks before he was born. He now follows about the 25thish centile but fits 6-9 month clothes since 3/4 months. Does this help at all?

Let the answerphone pick up your mum's calls!

Read Ina May Gaskin's guide to childbirth. She has a section about babies with "big" shoulders, that are traditionally thought to get stuck or be at risk of distocia. She says she has never met one that couldn't be birthed vaginally no problem in the hands-and-knees position. She's agrea source of confidence for many mums!

Another 5' mum with a 6' husband here, with big coathanger shoulders. DS born at 33 weeks with the most enormous head. I kid you not. Off the chart for a term baby. I have to cut his clothes and make them all V-necks. All went through my wee pelvis no problems. Outs self!

Oh, and your mum is projecting her experience on to you, don't let her! my mum spent a long time telling me DS would be learning disabled, based on her having one small baby who is. Her term baby weighed less than my premmie. He is just three and has taught himself to read. She's probably concerned for you, but this is your birth and your whole new child!

Me 5'2", dh 6'2" rugby build.

Dc1 Caesarean section as the ob gyn told me he didn't want to be responsible for me going into labour naturally. Dc1 scanning at 9lb 13 but 'could be a pound heavier'. CS and she was 8lb6.

Dc2 back to back labour vbac1. Failure to progress and prepped for CS but squeezed him out to detriment of fanjo. Also 8lb6. I had to stay in hospital for a week as fanjo required sorting.

Dc3 vbac2. Shoulder dystocia, prepped for ventouse. (Lolling at Ina may gaskin as dc3 was the only one I was on my hands and knees for) Brain damage. 9lbs.

Sometimes it is an issue, sometimes it isn't. A friend has had two babies over 10lbs and yes, the second one broke her pelvis. The joy of childbirth, eh?

But, y know. We're all still here. I'm just really crap at childbirth. You might be ace and shell 'em like peas.