When do you discuss your birth plan with a MW?

[Londongirl84]

I have my 28 week MW appointment at the start of next week. Is this when we discuss the birth etc? I remember the MW saying that we'd have an appointment where we discuss it but I can't remember which appointment that is. Trying to decide if my husband needs to take time off work to accompany me you see... Advice please! :)

Mine is 31 or 36 weeks. The last midwife I saw said to check before booking the 31 week one so I could arrange for my husband to be there too. Like you, I want him there at that one!

I'm 37 weeks and never discussed it!

I think my midwife suggested I filled in the birth plan page on my notes at about 36 weeks ish and then asked me at the next appt if there was anything I wanted to ask, I said not really and that was it!

I discussed mine at around 36 I think first time. Had planned natural, got emcs. Second time it was 36 for 39 elective, if that helps at all....

Tbh I'd put in big red letters what you want in notes yourself. Discussion is great but highly unlikely it will be her in room. Your notes are for those that are and would be followed first.

I'm 41 weeks and I've not filled in any birth plan, I take each hour as it comes in labour.

My MW said she wont even consider discussing anything like this until at least 38 weeks because anything can change in the meantime.

Personally I would prefer a hypothetical conversation than none at all but who am I ...

I don't ever remember discussing a birth plan with my first with the CM.

If your midwife does ask to discuss it with you, I have a sneaking suspicion it'll only be to humour you unless you have other medical needs or had previous birth complications or want or homebirth or what-have-you.

It's only really of any concern to the hospital midwife that'll be with you for the birth and even then you'll be lucky if she takes any notice

Certainly not worth your husband taking time of work for IMO&E.

That sounded much more bitter than intended

I don't remember ever discussing a birth plan with my midwife.

When she was cleaning up round me in delivery suite as ds was latching on for first time...

so how can you make an informed choice then?

an informed choice about what?

You can't make an informed choice about labour until you're in it peeapod

There's absolutely no way of knowing how it'll go until it happens. Obviously, you can do some reading yourself first and get a feeling for some preferences you'd like to make but you don't need the community midwife for that.

Thanks for all this info. I suppose I just wanted to chat about when I can be offered pain relief, when they'll send me home and when they will tell me it's time to come back to hospital, when they will induce me if I'm late....just all this info that a first time mummy doesn't have a clue about! X

There are a few things you may want to consider in advance but the best birth plan is an open mind. By this point I assume you know where you want to deliver as in home, hospital, midwife led unit. A home birth may require some extra discussion but other things like pain relief, positions and so on you cannot with the best will in the world know what you will want until you are in labour. Things to consider are vitamin K for baby after delivery would you prefer oral or injection. Do you want an injection in your leg to speed up delivery of the placenta or natural. I've never had a written birth plan just told my dh want my preferences were. Just bring up any questions you have with the midwife.

A birth plan is simply how you want things to go in an ideal world, not a list of instructions that the nursing staff need to adhere to. Its really unlikely that the community midwife you discuss it with will be at the birth, so whilst you can go through a couple of questions I remember not being able to go into much detail.

I do however remember discussing labour at the antenatal class, and from there doing some more reading to finally come up with what became my birth plan. Everything went pretty much as I'd hoped because I didn't have any hard and fast "rules", just a few scenarios and how I'd prefer to deal with them if the need arose (eg "I'm really scared about an episiotomy, and would welcome your support in finding ways of avoiding this unless it is absolutely strictly necessary for for the health of either my baby or me")

One thing that is important is to have your birth partner be aware of what's on your birth plan and why - they will need to be your mouth piece and relay your wishes if you're too in the zone to communicate.

Have you booked ante-natal classes? The questions you have will probably be answered there rather than directly with the community midwife.

In my first pg, I wrote a birth plan which I was never asked to discuss with anyone, and was never even read by any medical staff as far as I could tell. They certainly didn't take any notice of what was written in it if they did.

I didn't bother writing one in my second pg.

I always feel that a birth plan should be basically a form of revision for the process of giving birth.

As well as listing what you'd like to happen in an ideal world(!) it is far more important to list what you would like your choices to be if things don't go to plan. Even if nobody ever sees it, the fact you've looked into what can go wrong and what your options are means you (or your birth partner - share it with them) can deal better emotionally with the birth however it goes, are less surprised by things that happen, and can often give you back a small amount of control. After all labour is not the time to whip out the laptop and look up the consequences and reasons behind various options!

Also even if you're not planning on a c-section (who does in most cases?) it is very worthwhile researching what you would do just in case. DC2 turned out to be EMCS after a failed induction, and it was only afterwards I found out I could have asked for things like lowering the screen and immediate skin to skin which I would have loved (and had for DC3). But I'd been so focused on things like delayed cord clamping and no epidurals I'd never even considered what I might do with a c-section.

I can be offered pain relief, when they'll send me home and when they will tell me it's time to come back to hospital, when they will induce me if I'm late..

I would consider those kind of questions to be more about the hospital policy than your own individual birth choice.

Does your hosp. do a tour of the maternity unit? That's quite a good time to ask.

Surely you are wellwithin your rights for DH to find out sex/cut the cord and things like delayed cord clamping if you have a "normal" labour I.e no medical emergency that would prevent this?

And this is well within your rights!

I definitely think that writing a birth plan is useful, as long as you don't expect it to be followed to the letter.

I think my mw does this appointment at around 36 weeks. Or maybe that's just because there are some complications which might mean I have to have an ELCS, and I won't know for sure until a scan in a couple of weeks (I'll be 35 weeks then).