Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Living hell

10 replies

Sammc1878 · 21/11/2013 11:17

Also posted in miscarriage - I'm currently meant to be approx 8 weeks preg. I've been under the early pregnancy unit since the beginning and was initially hospitalised due to potential ectopic pregnancy
A scan a three weeks ago showed yolk ask in right place and last week they expected to see a heartbeat (approx 7 weeks) but they didn't so told me to expect not good news and they would scan in a week
So today had scan baby was there with no heartbeat and they said baby too small for dates - no growth in sac at all but baby had grown 1.2 mm she said health pregnancy grows 1mm per day
Put in private room to wait for consultant to take decision - nurse came back in and said consultant wants to scan me in one week time because of the growth and due to their protocols but it doesn't look good
I feel like I'm being tortured ... I've had now 1 ectopic pregnancy in in 2008 and mmc found at 12 week scan
Why are they making me wait?
Why has baby grown but no heart beat?
I just feel like there is a potential baby will be ok next week but husband says not and hospital are just covering themselves
Has anybody had similar experience?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Shellywelly1973 · 21/11/2013 11:44

Oh you poor love.

My sister experienced a very similar situation to you. I hsd a mmc last February. I had the initial scan on the Saturday & returned on the Tuesday for a second scan. I became completely convinced they had 'missed' my baby's heart beat.

I was 12 weeks but baby had died at 8 wks & 2 days...so very unlikely but nothing would convince me until I seen it for myself on the scan monitor.

Your husband is right. The hospital won't take any chances.

Please take care of yourself. Talk to people in RL & on MN-it really helped when I lost my baby.

Sending you big hugs. x
.

Davmallem2013 · 21/11/2013 11:51

Hi, I am not in the same boat but certainly in the same water with you. My 1st preg in May this yr turned in to emergency surgery for a ruptured ectopic in left tube, I was 6wks4 days, my tube was saved. I fell pregnant Oct, was admitted for suspected 2nd ectopic but ruled out to be MC. I am now preg straight away & am booked in for scan on a date which will be past when I ruptured 1st time. I 95% expect to hear those dreaded words "the uterus is empty" like the other times as I have been having left sided pain for the last few days, that's if I don't MC or rupture before the scan :(( I can total sympathise with you as I am struggling with the NHS. I think stay as positive as you can although it's difficult, you have made that next stage of baby being in the right place which is good :D & I really hope for you this turns out ok. My husband is supportive but he feels lost in it all. Good luck x

HairyPorter · 21/11/2013 11:56

I'm really sorry. It must be so stressful. The hospital will have strict guidelines before they can classify it as a miscarriage and need to be 100% certain it is. That's why they're repeating the scan. It doesn't sound promising though and I wouldn't get my hopes up. Sorry I don't have something more positive to say!

PterodactylTeaParty · 21/11/2013 12:09

Oh, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had a similar experience - two scans showing way too small for dates, foetal pole had grown a bit at second scan but not enough and still no heartbeat, and still told I had to wait another week for another scan before they would confirm the pregnancy wasn't viable.

It did feel like torture and I remember being in tears and begging the EPU not to make me wait any longer, but they wouldn't budge. Got told they can't divert from their guidelines. It was horrible and I feel for you so, so much.

I ended up starting to miscarry naturally during that week anyway. Before that I just coped as best I could, one step at a time. I took a few days off work and we ended up going away for the weekend anyway, just so I could get out of the house (which meant we were further away from the hospital of course but I was past caring at that point, just trying to do whatever felt like I wouldn't lose my mind).

In a way I think the wait was harder to go through than the actual miscarriage, because you're grieving and you're in limbo at the same time. But I'm glad I got to do some of that grieving, even though I hadn't totally given up on hope. I also told the baby that I would understand if it couldn't stay any longer and if that was the case I was really honoured that it had chosen me just for that brief time, and it helped me a bit to get to say goodbye like that I think.

PaulaFletch14 · 21/11/2013 12:56

I'm currently in the same limbo and I feel like I'm being tortured I can't stop crying. I had a scan two weeks ago they couldn't see much so I went back yesterday to EPU, there has been growth, egg sack, yolk and foetal pole but no heartbeat. The sonographer was a callous cow to say the least!! The nurse took me and my partner to the quiet room as we were in bits. Another scan next week if no heartbeat I guess that's it. They say I'm 8 weeks but I'm more like 6 or 7. This is my first pregnancy and I'm 39. It took me a year to conceive so I feel like this is my last chance. My partner has 2 daughters from previous marriage so I feel it's not as bad for him. It's me that'll be childless. I can't stop crying

Sammc1878 · 21/11/2013 13:07

Thanks for your replies
Shellywelly and petrodactylteapart sorry for your loss - petro I am praying that this ends naturally and I cried when I read what you wrote as I've told my little one that they can leave me too
Paula and davemallen - I'm sorry your going through this too it's so not fair
I wasn't expecting to get pregnant at 41 as its been 4-5 years since other losses so feel this is last chance for me xxx
I'm sorry if I have spelt user names wrong x

OP posts:
Katiejon · 21/11/2013 17:43

Am 41.
Missed miscarriage at 40 with DC2.
Heartbeat at 8 weeks, light bleeding 8 days later.
I know now is a horrible time 4 u, I kept on telling myself better to find out early than at 12 week scan.
Please don't give up hope for another baby.
I waited 3 cycles & got pg first time: Had a scan to monitor ovarian cyst, was told I had a dominant follicle.
Dominant follicle has just brought up milk on the floor Smile.
I also had to have a scan prior to medical management.
MMC diagnosed 5 days previously and I told dr that all symptoms gone. I even squeezed my boobs to demonstrate lack of breast tenderness!
Have only told my Counsellor that I named lost pregnancy after my great-aunt & in honour of Malala Youserzai.

sophs37 · 21/11/2013 17:49

sorry to hear yr story. I miscarried in April it was classed as a missed miscarriage. baby died at 9 weeksSad it was hell. Don't give up trying though. I fell again after my first period n all ok im 27 weeks. Keep strong n rest up xx

Katiejon · 21/11/2013 17:52

I read a book by Zita West and worked out the fertile part of my cycle.

It may sound incredible, but miscarrying is as common as sneezing.
We r unlucky if we miscarry after confirming our pregnancy, instead of after implantation and b4 BFT.

Please everyone on this thread, be assured there are literally thousands of women going through various miscarriage experiences, u r not alone.

My counsellor said to me that although I will always remember my MC experience, it will gradually cease to be in the forefront of my mind.
She is right.

Katiejon · 21/11/2013 17:59

Take each day, each hour at a time and perhaps tell those around u what is going on.
That way, u get more support, emotional and practical, like food sent in.

I was staggered by the number of women at DD's school who told me their stories.
I feel that I'm a member of a large community of women who have had their lives changed forevr & who continue to live their lives one day at a time.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page