How will I cope with 2?? Afraid I'll loose it....

[Artyparty]

Am 34 wks pg with dc2. Just had the most terrible day with 3yo..... Had a bad night and things went down hill from there.

She had 2 major tantrums before 9am. EVERYTHING was a battle and everything has to be experimented with to a rediculous degree... It was a major challenge to get out of the house by 12.30pm... Another major tantrum before and after ballet- in front of all the other parents with seemingly passive children... Awful trip to supermarket & buggy refusal, running away etc etc .... Just bloody awful and lonely... The one thing that could make it worse is a newborn.

Mumsnetters: How will I cope with another child without going crazy or killing someone???

I have a 3 yo and a 2 month old at the moment and felt like you whilst pregnant! The good news is that in general, after facing your fear of dealing with two (my husband is currently away working for 7 weeks!) you realise it is possible. Overall number two is pretty chilled, you forget how much newborns sleep, and so you just need to get the hang of the timing. Also I am getting into a routine well earlier than with DS1. Recently I was finding storytime/bedtime hard as baby was screaming (despite being fed and clean) and trying to shout stories over the noise, so decided maybe little one just needed to go to bed, as was over tired so started feeding putting him into moses basket at 7pm and he just slept! Now I have my evenings back already (well, for the moment!) at oly 2 months in. I think you are more confident with the baby second time round and have a bag of tricks to help you, and better instincts. There will always be terrible moments, but just don't try and do too much, get in loads of craft stuff for the 3 yo and don't feel too bad about too much TV - needs must! Get netflix and install the app on your phone/ipad too, so wherever you are you can always distract older one with Dora the Explorer or similar if need be and deal with any emergency baby issues! Good luck and you'll be brilliant.

I'm similar, currently 30 weeks with DC2 and DS has just turned 2. Some days are a complete write off and i wonder how the hell i'm going to cope with two.

Hopefully a good nights sleep and a better day tomorrow will help.

Not a lot of help but wanted you to know you are not alone.

You will cope! I think because you're at the later stage of oregnancy it's only becoming a reality now but it really will all just fall into place. Look at all the people who have 2 kids they survived and you will too :-)

Its easier once the baby's born because you aren't pregnant any more ime....

She sounds like dd1, have you tried a star chart?

I'm pregnant with number 3 and it's not as daunting as you think.
Yes you do have moments when you think arggggg but they pass and everything mostly slots into place

Same as stronger here, 23 weeks pg with (unplanned) dc3 and just wanted to say that it really does all fall into place.
My dcs are now 7 and 3 so not a bad age gap but i did panic when i thought about how i would possibly cope with 2 (my dd, dc1, never slept and had awful temper tantrums at 3/4).
I still have the odd moment when i think about coping with 3 as my ds is a meddler and wants to touch/mess constantly, but i know once babys here things will just settle into a routine after those first tiring weeks.

Instead of focusing on the short term fous on the long ter. Yes it will be hard at first and you will have moments when you wonder if you should consider the childrens home as an option :-). But now i love how my 2 play and look out for each other and all the cuddles/kisses i get make it so worth while and ile get even more in a few months time x

Definitely easier with two than having one but being heavily pregnant. There's only 18 months between my two and at 8 wks we have already got a good routine because we have to. I try and involve eldest ad much as possible with nappy changes etc so she feels like she's helping. You will also feel lots more relaxed with a newborn as you have experience on your side so it's not all as daunting as first time round. Pretty normal anxiety I would say but there's no doubt you will manage!

I'm 18 weeks and dd will have just turned 2 when baby arrives. I'm not thinking about it too much. My dd is so active and demanding atm. I'm sure it'll fall into a rhythm and routine quick enough. Hopefully.

What you are experiencing is perfectly normal. Up till now you have been experiencing the 'dream' of a second child. All of a sudden, its nearly a reality! Very soon, there will be TWO of them!
We have all been there, and you WILL cope, you WILL have enough love to go round, and DD WILL still love you for inflicting a sibling on her!
And don't forget that your 3yo is probably going through the same thing, except she is 3 and doesn't really understand! Mine regressed terribly when he realised change was afoot! It doesn't last long, you all fall into a routine really quickly.
Just try and keep breathing!

Great advice ladies- I can feel my blood pressure going down. Just have to keep remembering 'good days and bad days'

22 weeks here with DD2 and very nervous about coping with 2 - DD1 is just 2. Just can't seem to fathom how on earth you cope with night feeds and then getting up at toddler hours - there's no such thing as 'sleep when the baby sleeps' when a toddler needs entertaining surely?

get a catch on the lounge door that the 2yo can't reach.
Shut and secure door, put toddler tv on,
put baby in a toddler proof playpen, doze.

Sleep or lack thereof was my main problem to be honest. I have 19 months between mine (and expecting a third with another small age gap!)

Does your 3 year old go to nursery at all ( govmt funded?) that would give you the chance to sleep while the baby sleeps if she's being looked after and entertained elsewhere.

Ive said it before but it's waaay easier with newborn and toddler than being preg with toddler. You'll be fine! .