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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Terrified of tearing or being cut

42 replies

sprite25 · 13/11/2013 16:14

I'm at 36+3 weeks and attempted to do perineal massage last night but there's no way I could reach so gave up, I know opinions are mixed as to whether it works or not but really wanted to give it a go as the thought of skin down there ripping or being cut terrifies me. I plan on using water for the majority of labour and hopefully the birth so maybe the warm water will help soften things up but I dont know what to do now that I can't do the massage :S

OP posts:

rudbekia · 13/11/2013 20:03

I've had both - episiotomy prior to ventouse delivery with my first and a 2nd degree tear with my second. the episiotomy was done after a local and I didn't feel the tear at all. in both cases they were neatly and effectively fixed and I've suffered no problems subsequently. try not to focus too much on this; they won't do any procedure unless needed. do take some time to talk through your worries with your midwife.

stargirl1701 · 13/11/2013 20:06

When midwife says stop pushing, STOP!!!!!

I didn't. 2nd degree tear. Which I didn't feel.

Bejeena · 13/11/2013 21:25

I also think that you may well not even notice and honestly to goodness afterwards you will not care.

I had my baby in July at 36 weeks he was only 5lb 10 but I still tore and had to be cut. I had no pain relief at all and even so didn't notice when I tore and I swear I think I only realised the cut because I saw the midwife do it.

Believe the others when they say that at the time you will not care, you just want your baby to come into the world in theist cold

Bejeena · 13/11/2013 21:27

Sorry I meant

You want our baby to come into the world in the most comfortable way for him/her possible, you won't care about cuts or rips on yourself, when it happens you'll know what I mean.

ChipAndSpud · 13/11/2013 21:37

I had a tear I'm not sure if it was 2nd or 3rd degree, there were lots of stitches afterwards....

To reassure you OP I had no idea that I needed stitches, after my lovely water birth I was sat in bed with a cup of tea and toast whilst DS was asleep when my mw mentioned that she should do the stitches soon!

As for the recovery, it was fine, I sat on an old pillow for a few days for extra padding, but I reckon anyone would find that more comfortable. A good tip if you do tear is to 'air' your bits each day as well as it helps heal.

You will go into a different zone when in labour, it's hard to describe, but you're very focused on breathing and pushing, nothing else really passes through your mind!

puntasticusername · 13/11/2013 21:43

Whereas I did the massage religiously, and didn't tear even during a tricky ventouse delivery. No idea if the massage really had anything to do with that, and not that a collection of anecdotes makes for a truly meaningful set of data, but just to add my own experience to the pot

Any chance your partner could do it for you, if you can't reach...?

ChaffinchOfDoom · 13/11/2013 21:48

Ive had a 'normal delivery' and a csection. Normal delivery I had an episiotomy and a 3rd degree tear.

I promise you now I did not feel any of it. At all. there is so much happening, so much adrenaline, you are focussed on the 'big' stuff.

Afterwards it just feels cool when they stitch you; and then itchy and tight when healing! honestly it was fine. and mine was a very 'worst case' type scenario.

Good luck for the birth!

PrincessKitKat · 13/11/2013 21:58

I'm scared of this too. I get freaky fanjo paper cuts when stressed (seen a specialist, still no clue) so fear I will tear like a tissue... TMI?!

I've bought an 'epi-no' weird balloon thing that you start using at 36 weeks to help stretch the area in preparation
Apparently they're big in Australia (or France?) & it goes back to normal after I sincerly hope

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 13/11/2013 22:05

Being cut is by far the better option.

I agree with this - I had an episiotomy for ventouse and it was absolutely fine and healed to barely nothing. I am terrified of tearing.

EirikurNoromaour · 13/11/2013 22:09

3rd degree tear here - did not notice it at the time, had a spinal block for the repair and the painkillers were great so after two weeks when it was well healed the pain was pretty much gone. The worst effect were anal fissures and they can be avoided by staying well hydrated and using lactulose until you are 100% healed.

stickysausages · 13/11/2013 22:13

I wasn't told when to push, one of the advantages of being in the water, was the mw telling me to do what my body was telling me! So I pushed when baby was ready to come out

OpenMindedSceptic · 13/11/2013 22:15

I used Epi-no when pregnant with both DCs. Highly recommend it.

ViviDeBeauvoir · 13/11/2013 22:20

I was petrified if this to the point of phobia and was massively anxious before each of my DC were born (I have 3)

I didn't tear or even get a graze for any of them, even though DD was born with her hands up at her face and DS2 had a massive (91st centile) head. I feel really lucky about this and hope it can reassure you a bit that it isn't inevitable.
Good luck!

BummyMummy77 · 13/11/2013 23:43

I have no option. This country is SO fucking backwards my midwife is not allowed to cut, just sew up if needed. For which I get no painkiller. Land of the free my arse. :(

JugglingFromHereToThere · 17/11/2013 17:43

Hoping things go well for you BM x

nocarsgo · 17/11/2013 17:48

I had a third degree tear and didn't feel it happen. Not sure whether that's a reassuring statement or not!

I was scared of tearing as well - who isn't? Unfortunately whether you tear or not is pretty much in the lap of the gods and there's no point fretting about it. It's just luck, circumstances (there are risk factors for severe tears and I didn't experience any of them either) and your individual anatomy.

bouncysmiley · 17/11/2013 18:11

I had 3rd degree tear and didn't know until mw told me after the birth. It was ok afterwards too. It was one of my main fears beforehand too. You may be lucky especially with a water birth, try not to worry.

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