Finances for Baby Stuff

[redcarrot1]

In the run up to having your baby how do you work out who buys what? We don't have a joint account so I've been buying bits and hes been buying the odd bit. He has spent slightly more as he earns more, however, I'm sick and tired of having to bash him over the head to get something we really need. For instance I send him an email saying 'please get this (non-frivolous/essential item) and he then ignores it. I feel like a nag but not sure what else to do.

Just curious - how do you manage? And of course now I'm wondering how this is all going to pan out in the future. Maybe we should get a joint account after all...

I would set upa joint account for baby stuff and agree how much you are each going to put in.dont forget you will be earning less on mat leave so you will need to take that into account too as he will need to help support you and baby financially through your mat leave.

Hi, thanks. I won't be on maternity leave as I'm self employed but on a much lower income. Should that mean I put less into the account than him? Or should it be even?

How do you manage other household expenses/bills?We have our own accounts but we also have a joint account that we each pay an agreed amount into every month so when we had a baby we just increased the amount we each paid in (proportional to our income so at the moment I pay in more than him but on maternity leave he paid more)

I just pay into his account half of whatever I owe him on the bills. We split it 50/50.

I was in exactly the same position as you a few months ago and after a few heated arguments about getting a joint account, we finally have one. I knew full well that if we didn't we'd constantly be arguing over who buys what and it would always end in me having to nag, nag and nag!!

We now each put £750 of our wage into a joint account and keep the rest of our wage to ourselves to spend how we wish. It has made things so much easier!! We also put £300 a month away into our Maternity Pay account so we have some accumulated money to act as a buffer during maternity leave.

Getting pregnant forced us to think seriously about our finances and how we manage them together as opposed to him having his money and me having mine.

we didnt have this problem we bought everything together we have a joint bank account but in general we also share everyday costs theirs no sep money we keep it in one and its allways been this way even before we where married my best advice is to both buy items your lil one will need :)

If your income is lower then maybe you should discuss putting less into the bills. The way we manage it means we both have the same amount of money left over which seems fairer to us

You're a family now and you will be earning less because you are taking care of your (joint) child. Therefore it's definitely not fair to keep paying 50/50. You're also more likely to do grocery shopping and such when on mat leave, this should not be solely your expense.
If you want to keep separate finances, then pay for joint expenses (food, bills, baby) proportionally to the income.
Another option is to transfer everything to joint account and give both of you equal amonts of personal spending money.
Or, as in our case, everything goes into the same pot - I've found this the easiest, no discussions about who paid for what. This only works though if you both have similar understandings about spending and saving.

I don't understand how people can live together but have separate money . Before we had dc but we lived together, all wages went into a joint account no matter who earned more, bills were paid and the rest was just used freely by each of us.

Hi Op sounds like you need a joint account and I really don't think you should be contributing as much if you earn less....I have friends who do this....just doesn't seem fair. Hope you sort a system that works for you.

W didn't have a joint account because of the issue raised by HazleNutt - me and hubby had very different attitudes to spending and saving!! If I'd had to watch him deplete a joint account with his lifestyle choices then divorce may have been on the cards That's why we have a joint account for all household bills, mortgage and baby stuff, and then we keep the rest of our money to ourselves. I'm pretty sure my personal account looks much healthier than his

Really you should be handing over a propertionate amount. If your salary is 30% of the total income, you should be covering 30% of the costs.

Another way to do it would be to pool all your money, and each move.into your own accoubts identical, agreed, amount of 'disposable spends'.

Thanks all. I've been paying 50/50 on bills as there are a couple I don't pay at all e.g. Council Tax. Sounds a bit complicated. Maybe we should straighten things out more and just have me pay my proportionate % on everything. Its great to hear how everyone else does it.

that's just half of the issue though - if you transfer him money to cover the bills, but will then buy all baby stuff, food etc, as he does not and ignores the requests.
If you don't want to go all joint then I would prefer the solution, where you both have equal amounts of spending money and the rest goes into the joint account.