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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Situation!!

9 replies

MeJJ2013 · 06/11/2013 09:47

I found out yest I am pregnant and have mixed feelings I allreAdy have a daughter who is 4 and that was with a previous partner my partner I'm wih now we've been together for 4 years but this wasn't planned I'm working and so is he were currently looking for a flat to live together then this news came up. I told him he had a mixed reaction of 'what are we going to do?' And he no told me today that he feels me and him are both not financially ready I'm really confused because I do want it but don't want to feel like it would be a mistake keeping it as he's given me this opinion about it and said he will support me whatever choice I make but now I don't know I'm 23 and his 25 I also don't know if we're maybe to young to take on another child and if ill be judged in the work place

OP posts:
smilesallround247 · 06/11/2013 10:17

oh hun you will not be judged! its a pickle this but it's something only you and your partner can decide.
if you want to make it work then you can! big hugs hun! Im 22 having my first if that helps?

Original poster
MeJJ2013 · 06/11/2013 11:58

Yeah it does ! I think I'm a over thinker but I just want to make this work I want to keep the baby I'm happy I am pregnant I did get judged when I had my first girl but I just hope it's all going to be ok he text and said he support whatever I do but I have the doubt that he never really wanted it right now

OP posts:
1stTIMEmumTObe · 06/11/2013 12:29

Really? You may not be in a perfect situation to have a baby now (but who is?), but considering to get rid of your unborn child so easly... I don't get it!
You're young and healthy, and you have a partner to support you. What's the problem?

peeapod · 06/11/2013 13:51

ok. heres my story. i got married end of august. a week later i got a bfp.

We have no job, a one bed flat and no money. Everyone has been really supportive. and lovely to us.

Since finding out we have managed to upgrade to a 2 bed house, starting saving as much money as we can (can do a lot in 9 months) and my oh has been redoubling efforts to get a job.

We will get there, yes, we did it all in reverse, but theres nothing like a new baby to get you motivated.

remember, its 9 months away. lots of time to get prepared...

delphi13 · 06/11/2013 14:54

1stTIMEmumTobe don't judge. She's just thinking through how she's going to cope. No one takes that kind of decision lightly and it's quite clear there is nothing easy about her deliberations. She's also made it clear she actually wants the baby but is worrying about how she will cope. Given she's got a child already she will know that it's difficult and so is thinking it through. So what's your problem?

Original poster
MeJJ2013 · 06/11/2013 16:22

Now told my partner that I actually want the baby and we can do it and he's just made it perfectly clear to me he doesn't, just made me really upset he saying he's not ready and in a years time we will try I just feel like no way would I stay with him if I have to terminate I'm really upset and can't believe the person I've been with this many years is acting like this now saying it's over and stuff just makes me question this hole entire time and why is acting like a compleate prick!!!!!!! Angry

OP posts:
delphi13 · 06/11/2013 16:41

I've read a few posts like this recently and the guys ended up coming round to it after a week or so in most situations. I hope this happens for you. If not you're strong enough to do it on your own if that's what you want and decide. I hate how men get to just chose they don't want a baby and walk out of the situation but I guess they think that they hate being in a situation they can't control and there are some men that desperately want a baby and a woman decides to terminate anyway. It's such a difficult situation give him a little time to calm down but don't make it easy for him. If it were me I would shut down on him completely and just look after myself. Screw him, if he wants to come back to the party he is going to have to beg.

Original poster
MeJJ2013 · 06/11/2013 16:59

Very true Ive just said that I don't want to be with him no more because of this and he's saying well ur blackmailing me into having it if I don't have it ur not be with me ! Of corse I wouldn't be with him am I acting insane or is this right?!

OP posts:
Pantomime · 06/11/2013 17:16

I am 24 and this is my first and it was a surprise baby too.

He may come round to the idea, guys for some reason don't always take it so well when they find out. I guess its not something that is happening directly to them... He does need to respect your feelings though, I don't think you are blackmailing him at all... just saying that if he wants to be part of your life he has to be part of the babies life which is a fair comment if you have decided to keep the baby. (At least in my opinion)

Honestly if you want the baby do keep it, there are always ways to make money stretch and ways to cope.

I hope everything works out for you.

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