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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Xmas day dur date. How can we make plans???

37 replies

lovelylentils · 04/11/2013 22:22

I'm expecting dc 3 on xmas day. I know it's very unlikely that dc3 will actually arrive on xmas day but I'm beginning to panic about 'the plans'!
Every year it's a bit of a your parents vs my parents debate with dh and he believes spending it at home is dull (as opposed to massive family gatherings).
So, part of me feels, well, if I'm potentially going to be in hospital he might as well be with his parents for the non visiting hrs of the day. However, if we say yes to mil, the idea of going into labour in front of pil (particularly fil) fills me with dread!
Also, if I've only just given birth, my mil super expensive, clean white sheets are not where I'm going to want to be!
Parents and inlaws are beginning to ask our plans.
Any advice?

OP posts:

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NomDeClavier · 04/11/2013 22:24

Well I've told them they can come to ours, cook and clean. I'll be having a baby/BFing a newborn/heavily pregnant and cranky (EDD Christmas Eve)!

SomethingOnce · 04/11/2013 22:42

Parents and inlaws are beginning to ask our plans.

Surely the only plan can be: There is no plan.

It's one Christmas - just stay home and relax.

cakeandcustard · 04/11/2013 22:46

I'm due the week after you - new years day! We're doing xmas at home this year, minimum fuss. I couldn't cope with anything else!

Original poster

lovelylentils · 04/11/2013 23:00

I'd rather just have it at home with dh and dc but dh really wont go for this, (his parents will play the 'well we'll just get a chicken crown if it's just us sob sob... And he'll fall for it)
maybe having it at ours is the way fwd but i'm not very good at not being in control and would end up doing everything!

OP posts:

SomethingOnce · 04/11/2013 23:21

dh really wont go for this

Yeah, well, he's not the one who'll be heavily pregnant/in labour/post partum.

I'd say it's your call, not his.

Shellywelly1973 · 04/11/2013 23:27

Seriously?! Its one Christmas. Your dh needs to cop himself on! Its not like its your 1st dc either, so you really know what it's all about.

Do his / your family live so far away you have to stay?

If possible I would be excepting invites but with the view that the plan will change if baby turns up.

Ultimately please yourself as your the one who's pregnant... not 'd'h!

hazchem · 04/11/2013 23:47

Totally tell him to pull his freaking neck in!

Could you do a packet christmas? We did it one year it was great. Stuffed vine leaves, halva, panatone, cheeses, fancy breads.

Or what about christmas eve drinks at your place? Just mince pies, hot chocolates that sort of thing.

TobyLerone · 05/11/2013 01:18

Your husband needs to stop being a thoughtless knob. Let him take the DC to his parents if he really must.

But no to visiting, and no to visitors. Absolutely not. It's one day. People go so ridiculously crazy about Christmas.

SoonToBeSix · 05/11/2013 02:25

I didn't think hospitals did non visiting hours for partners?

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 05/11/2013 02:30

I was due 19th Dec. We were expecting to be busy over Christmas with the baby so planned nothing. Had no food, decorations etc. DH ended up going back to work and I spent Christmas Day with my Doula and her family.

DS finally arrived on the 27th.

Where would you be comfortable this Christmas? At home, in front of the telly in your pj's.

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes · 05/11/2013 02:41

Extraordinary behaviour from your DH and his parents. Surely there are no plans this year? If you're still pg on Xmas day he can take the other DC to theirs, as a PP said? My DD was born mid dec so we just had Xmas to ourselves last year. Everyone understood.

TheBookofRuth · 05/11/2013 05:57

Blimey, I'd just assumed this was about whether to a plan for a Christmas dinner and whatnot, and was going to suggest getting in lots of lovely M&S-style party food that can just be shoved in the oven or frozen if you do go into labour! It literally never occurred to me that anyone would think you should be anywhere but your own home for Christmas when that pregnant! I mean, it's insane.

You really need to put your foot down with your DH OP, it's completely unreasonable for him to expect anything other than a quiet Christmas at home this year.

Ragwort · 05/11/2013 06:23

Is your DH usually this self-obsessed, I think you are going to have bigger problems that where to spend Christmas.

He sounds like a spoiled child who hasn't let go of his mother's apron strings.
I seriously don't know what you can do in this situation, how old are your children? I would be strongly tempted to tell him to do what he likes on Christmas Day but you will be spending the day quietly at home. Can you get to hospital if he is not around?

3bunnies · 05/11/2013 06:55

What is the plan with the other dc when you go into labour. Home birth/ hospital. You are talking about sheets so does that involve staying over. I refused to go anywhere for Christmas when expecting dd1 and that was at 8 months. Would you even have any medical support/same hospital. I'm guessing that if you ask your midwife in the right way with words 'stress, Christmas, inlaws, stress, due date, stress' she will support almost any plan you propose then just tell dh that she said to do x.

If it were me then I would make everyone just hibernate at home but you could possibly invite your parents and inlaws on the basis that you can't guarantee to do anything and that food will be down to them & dh. No overnight guests - that's what Travel lodges are for. And they have the other dc if you go into labour.

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes · 05/11/2013 07:14

What do your parents think about the whole thing, op? Are they more reasonable about it than your PILs?

evertonmint · 05/11/2013 07:25

Your DH really needs to put you and his baby ahead of his parents. I can't believe he's got to his 3rd DC without realising that his parents are less important than you and his DCs! You do exactly what you want to do and everybody fits in with that. Don't even think of sending DH and DCs off to his parents - you shouldn't be alone on Christmas Day. Host at home, make it clear that it won't be a full on Christmas and may be cancelled at the last minute but that if everyone is willing to put up with that they can come. If they want more certainty, they need to make plans not involving you and your family.

froubylou · 05/11/2013 07:43

I'm due 20/12.

My plans for Xmas include being cooked for by dp, being waited on, , eating chocolate, eating cake and either bfing or cooking a dc still.

Visitors will be welcome as long as they make their own tea. And possibly stick a load of washing in.

My DP is under strict instructions that it is just us for Xmas day. My not so dfil is a selfish bastard who if invited would turn up with his latest girlfriend and likely to be both pissed as farts. My DP knows better than to inflict him on me either that pregnant or post partum.

Tell your dp it would be utterly fucking ridiculous to make any plans for Xmas. Look what happened to mary that year. Poor bugger ended up giving birth in a stable and you would have thought the 3 wisemen would have been wise enough to stay away a few days.

You need to put your foot down now and make it clear to all that this year you will be doing exactly what you want to do.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 05/11/2013 07:59

Stay home, all you need is chocolates and cake, it's a food group you know... PIL can grow up

PrincessKitKat · 05/11/2013 08:02

I'm just checking... Have you actually discussed this with your DH yet or are you assuming that he won't want to stay home because of previous years behaviour? You never know, he might understand & agree home is best as a one off! Sometimes these DHs can surprise you...!

Either way, I'd be refusing to go anywhere, or cater for anyone & locking myself in with the quality street and the christmas afternoon movie let them sort themselves out.

PinkWitch803 · 05/11/2013 08:31

Due boxing day and we have said parents and inlaws are welcome to visit foe tea and cake if I am still cooking the baby and we will do Christmas in January instead.

The inlaws are about an hour and a half away and my parents are about 45 minutes.

My step son is either going to visit dp's parents or his mum, he hasn't decided. He might stay at home to chill out. He is 18 in feb, so can please himself, we have toldhim I will be not moving much, I might go into labour and I don't want any stress! He is a teenage boy, so a free pass to play on his playstation will be a Christmas gift in itself :)

Thisisfreakingmeout · 05/11/2013 08:32

I'm not due until feb, and I have made it clear I am pleasing myself this year as the rest of Christmas for all time will be about the LO!

I also try you are having this dilemma. Is it a big journey to his/your parents? Could that be your bargaining chip (if you need one?)

PinkWitch803 · 05/11/2013 08:33

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1890790-December-2013-creeping-closer-but-no-more-hospital-stays-please-god?pg=22&order=ere is the December thread in case you were wondering where we have been hiding...

Ragwort · 05/11/2013 08:34

Pink - I misread your thread and thought you were cooking a baby instead of a turkey .

flyawayblue · 05/11/2013 08:49

Due in January but still planning a Christmas at home, the in laws have arranged a fake Christmas in early Dec so we and another family member who works Christmas can all attend. there's no talk of us going to them for the actual day.

We will have visitors Christmas week but they're not expecting food and dh will probably get party snacks or they will bring some :)

TheCrumpetQueen · 05/11/2013 08:56

I had ds on Christmas Day last year, due date was
Christmas eve.
I didnt make any fixed plans but made a food order for the 23rd December so we were stocked up just in case and didnt have to go shopping.
We went into hospital on Christmas Eve and I was out on Boxing Day so missed Christmas dinner but we made it all when we got home and relaxed with our gorgeous newborn.

Good luck! It's a lovely time to have a baby

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