Sex during pregnancy

[C4ALR]

Anyone else's dp gone off sex?
I'm 34 weeks and still want the intimacy but dp can't get his head round the fact I still feel this way

mmm I think we both did tbh. A lot of men do. don't think its just him.

Don't get me wrong I don't feel like I do pre pregnancy, but occasionally I do, sometimes it's the last thing on my mind. He thinks it's not right wen there's a baby in me, he's not good with the whole pregnancy thing at all it freaks him out big time. Just abit disheartening wen he comes across not interested in me anymore... Hormones playing tricks I expect x

Yeah, mine is usually ok if I'm up for it Is(on the rare occasion!!) I don't think he has a problem per se but some men get scared of hurting the baby ect. especially when you get bigger. He might also be a bit stressed out about the whole thing.
is it your first?

My first but he's got 2 other children but he was only 18 wen he had his first and wasn't really around for the 2nd untill after she was born.
I think he is bit worried about it all tho cos this will be the first time it's a proper family baby if that makes sense were secure married and settled where the his previous relationship was a bit of a joke, he is an amazing dad now we have the eldest living with us and the youngest comes 3/4 nights a week.
I don't think it helps I'm suffering with spd, iv got an iguanil hernia and varicose veins so I don't look to attractive if imagine, ha sorry if tmi x

oh hun. I've got horrid veins too. I really wouldn't worry about that at all. sounds like he's going.g to be a fab dad and is supporting you which is the main thing. I'm sure others are going to come on and say their dps were the same. maybe its a kind of protective instinct thing?

Yer I'd imagine many people are the same but sometimes u need to have some reassurance don't you,
How far gone are you? Is it your first? X

I'm 40+4 with 3rd. knackered!
yes you do need reassurance. some women really feel good in pregnancy, others like me feel like an unattractive bloated sea lion. I don't enjoy being pregnant if I'm honest. I think I worried more about my appearance with first though as I put on a lit more weight. Plse don't let it worry you though. Will he be at the birth?

I'm 17 weeks and my DH has totally gone off it it was the scan that did it, boooo! I did manage to make him come round to the idea because I was wanting it ALL the time but I know he's freaked out by it all. I compromised and said we'd be intimate but no inter course. But even then he's never initiated anything and it leaves me feeling a bit deflated

Can you just do oral instead? No inside-near-the-baby mindset to put him off then?

I am really self conscious about how I look, I'm paranoid about getting stretch marks and looking vile after the pregnancy aswell, I'm not enjoying pregnancy at all either, Iv had to have fertility treatment to fall pg then I miscarried, fell again so been worrying about every pain and niggle, I can't wait to have my little boy delivered and have my body sort of back to normal x

I don't have any advice but I just wanted to let you know that my DP has no interest in dtd when I'm pregnant so you're not alone. I too have varicose veins and I feel bloated and unattractive. We've been together for 14 years and we're pretty tight but it crushes my self esteem that he's not interested.

He's a great dad and a loving husband so I feel I just have to ride it out until the baby comes and he wants to dtd again. I guess it just freaks some men out...

The stretch marks disappear with time.
I think having a baby also brings you self esteem in a new way. I used to have bad self esteem but now I feel a lot more in control of my feelings and choices. I guess that comes with the responsibility of becoming a parent. a little person who needs and depends on just you no matter what you look like!

ps I still hide under tbe covers to have sex though!

We sound like we're in the same life part from we've been together for 8 years married for nearly a year.

I just didn't expect him to go off it cos normally we are quite active, but it does make u feel bit rubbish.

The veins r horrendous some days more wen iv been on my feet a lot, that freaked me out wen I saw them.

Iv only got 6 weeks left but then spose u gotta let ur body heal so only another few months till I can start feeling normal again :(

I wanted to really enjoy pregnancy but I really haven't which I'm quite saddened about but it will be worth it in the end :)

I had some stretch marks previously on my bum and boobs since I was about 12 which don't bother me, touch wood I haven't got anymore yet through pregnancy but I have been using bio oil every day twice daily since I was about 15 weeks, and a bonus for me u spose is I'm lucky in that way, I only measure 30 cms at 34 weeks x

I never had sex for 9 months x 2dc

It feels like 9 months ha ha x

pretty much like anyfucker!! I could count the number on one hand!!
How fast you heal depends on the birth really. I recovered very quickly with dc2 and felt pretty much back to normal in 1-2 weeks. Just remember it can take a few days for your uterus to go down so don't expect a flat tummy straight after. x

I'm hoping I don't have to have a c section because healing process for that is about 6 weeks iv heard x

This thread is sooo sad!

My dp is far from perfect but honestly how the ladies have described how they are feeling is really sad.

Pregnancy is perfectly natural. Im a very small person normally but when im pregnant im very curvy. Totally different but dp sees all that as part of me.

Dp & I have been together 14 years. He's put on a massive amount of weight but he's still him iyswim?

We're on our 4th dc & I think dp is more sensitive then normal to my needs...but considering he's normally fairly rubbish when it comes to feelings etc.

I would take to your dp/dh I really couldn't spend 9 or more months celibate!

I think it's really lovely ur dp feels that way but it seems he must be a one if a kind.

My dp is very worried about the whole pregnancy thing and worried about me because it's been such a rough ride right from the word go... I think this has taken away some of the enjoyment.

I feel like I am huge compares to my pre pregnancy size but wen I compare myself to others I am still little, I am a size 6/8 normally but now I'm buying 8/10s so im probly an average size. People don't believe me wen I say I have 6 weeks left x

I guess eveyone is different. personally I don't see anything wrong in couples going off sex during pregnancy. I don't think it is something that should be pushed either. Men get tired and stressed too and some men cope better with the pregnancy thing than others. This is my third as said upthread and I retreat into my shell a bit during pregnancy and especially in labour - rather do it on my own tbh!
As long as long we remember not to forget about them and show intimacy and love in other ways I really don't see the problem. its very individual and honestly if op s dp isn't up for it - it doesn't matter. it doesn't mean he is any less interested in her.

I agree with you freckles, i just needed to know how other people felt I think to make sure I wasn't alone.

I think my dp is the way he is because his mum has the same sort of feelings about pregnancy as him so he is obviously the way he is because of her, for example they don't agree the male should be there for delivery which apparently years ago wen she had her children that's the way it was, he is coming with me as I want him too but I think if I said to him I'm happy for him not to be there he would also be very grateful.

He is very supportive so will do what ever I want I think :) x

C4 similar here, although dh has always come to the birth. He is English but African origin so he family probably think the same - birth is a woman's affair!
In many cultures I know that during a period too couples don't sleep in the same bed for example or often the woman sleeps with the kids.
I know we are in the UK but its interesting to bear stuff like that in mind.