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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

SENSITIVE I need some advice I don't want to be pregnant

19 replies

patheticfailure · 01/11/2013 22:13

I'm sorry this is sensitive and insensitive and I don't wish to upset anyone on here, but I didn't know where to post and I can't talk to anyone in RL I know.

I found out on Tuesday I'm pregnant. I've been taking the pill and haven't missed any or been sick. I'm devastated. This isn't what I want at all. I am already a single parent and work full time the pill has failed me yet again. I decided there and then that I want to terminate.

I called a bpas number and went in to see them yesterday. They did an internal and external scan and she couldn't find anything. They did a test and it came up very strong positive. My blood pressure was so high something like 112/103 and she basically said unless it goes down to normal they won't be able to help me. I have high BP anyway so can't see how it will go down to normal.

Today I was sent to hospital to the epu to see if they could see anything. They could see something which measures about 5 weeks. They are very concerned about my BP and right now can't confirm if I'm having an ectopic pregnancy or not as they can't confirm where the sac is nor can they find a heart beat. I'm not bleeding, but I've had headaches and sharp pains. They tried to keep me in tonight, but I have no one to look after little one and couldn't so I'm going back Sunday for 28 hours blood tests. I feel like I'm being throw all over the place right now.

Has anyone ever had a termination with high BP? Can they really refuse me and force me to have a baby I don't want? Sorry I know that sounds awful as I have friends who would give their right arm for a baby, but I have to think about my metal state , my daughter and a lot more.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 01/11/2013 22:16

I don't know but I find that very strange! I doubt very much high bp prevents a termination. Have you spoken to your other half? Get him helping to fight your battles. I really hope you're ok - all sounds scary

Original poster
patheticfailure · 01/11/2013 22:22

Stealth he supports my decision fully, but there isn't anything he can do. It's the nurses in the bpas who told me it's not their policy if BP is over a certain amount. I don't get it. I can't help my BP and it's bound to be higher than normal when all this is happening.

OP posts:
SimLondon · 01/11/2013 22:23

I take it they were saying that you were an unsuitable candidate for the medical abortion pill? Did they mention if a surgical abortion was an option?

Is there any way of getting your blood pressure down?

SimLondon · 01/11/2013 22:25

High blood pressure does mean your not suitable for the abortion pill.

The 112 is good, it's the 103 that's high.

SimLondon · 01/11/2013 22:32

The headache is probably from the high blood pressure, where are the sharp pains? If they're in the side of your stomach or your shoulders then you should go back to the EPU - an ectopic pregnancy can become an emergency situation if not treated.

Original poster
patheticfailure · 01/11/2013 22:36

Sim she ruled out both which is why I'm stressing. I asked the doctor today if they can forced someone to have a baby they don't want and she says no, but if they won't help me, what other options do I have? I know it's high and I am about 4st overweight which also doesn't help. They're worried because I'm 30 and don't want to give me tablets, but looks like they may have too.

OP posts:
Original poster
patheticfailure · 01/11/2013 22:38

Sim, they can't say if it is yet as they think I'm still too early so that's why I'm going back Sunday for more testing. They said they can't rule it out yet as they still can't confirm there is anything in the sac. So it's just a waiting game. I've only got one more week signed off from work so I'm stressing as I don't get paid sick pay.

OP posts:
SimLondon · 01/11/2013 22:54

That was the nurse at the BPAS that ruled out both? That doesn't mean the nhs would rule out the surgical abortion. It sounds like its to early to show up on the scan, in another week or two it will and hopefully the EPU will be able to discuss the options in terms of termination once they've confirmed what's going on.

I know it's stressful but maybe going to work for a couple of days would help take your mind off things.

Original poster
patheticfailure · 01/11/2013 23:04

Thank you. It's patience I lack. Guess I will have to wait and see.

OP posts:
ismarah · 01/11/2013 23:58

I'm not a doctor, nor have I had an abortion.

However, I did have a very rare medical condition that involved a very high BP (216/165 when I was admitted, average day 150/100) and I'd suspect that if your bp doesn't cause a miscarriage then for your health it would be recommended that you have an abortion. It might take them a little time to figure things out though - if there is something else going on, either with you or with the foetus.

It was one of the reasons I never got pregnant at the time - I knew that going in with high bp was likely to not go well and increased chances of pre-eclampsia which seemed like a silly thing to do.

112 is fine, even a little bit on the low side. 103 on the other hand is quite high and that's the one they really worry about.

What is your normal, high bp? Do you have 'white-coat syndrome'? Or does your bp increase dramatically when you're stressed? Like discovering you are pregnant when you don't want to be..

RaRa1988 · 02/11/2013 13:37

OP: I've had an abortion (with a few things going wrong - not to scare you; just meaning that I know a fair bit about it now!). Feel free to PM me if you wish. Otherwise, I would have thought the NHS would do something for you - it just may be more risky. There are a few options for abortion though, and not all of them are suitable for everyone. I wouldn't despair just yet Flowers

BohemianRaspberry · 02/11/2013 21:02

Just wanted to say that your post is a very brave one. Continue trying to get answers and solutions, it's obviously a step you have not taken lightly. Can you see your GP or a different clinic?

Best wishes Cake

sprite25 · 04/11/2013 16:59

You say the pill has failed you 'yet again' I would suggest using a different method of contraception or use condoms as well as the pill if it has failed you more then once and you dont want to get pregnant.

hubbahubster · 04/11/2013 18:57

IME the medical termination is painful and takes ages (plus it incapacitates you - not ideal if you have a little one to look after). Would surgical termination be an alternative with your blood pressure? I had to have an ERPC following a MMC and that was fine to recover from physically so may be a better option for you anyway. Good luck.

Original poster
patheticfailure · 12/11/2013 21:19

Just wanted to update you all. I was finally given tablets for my BP which worked, but was still too high. They eventually agreed for me to have the other tablets. I had the first lot last Wednesday and the remaining on Thursday. Wasn't too bad. Thanks again for the help and advice. I really felt lower than low and didn't habe anyone to talk to in rl so thanks x

OP posts:
Sammi1986 · 12/11/2013 23:06

Hope you're ok xx

Chocolatemolehill · 13/11/2013 10:25

Good luck with everything!

SaucyJack · 13/11/2013 10:34

Glad you got the end result you wanted x

ChicaMomma · 13/11/2013 10:52

what about the RU 486 pill??

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