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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

At what stage did you tell work that you were pg?

81 replies

Mitchell2 · 01/11/2013 11:01

In a bit of a quandary - am 7+4 today and really not feeling the greatest. I am on the verge of telling a select few at work so I can take it a bit easy WFH etc. I don't have any concerns re reactions to it - e.g. I know that I am not going to be discriminated, they will be v supportive etc but I just feels a bit wrong telling them so soon as the old rule of thumb is after the 12 week scan.

Oh and we are also going to be doing our planning for 2014 in the next few weeks and my absence is going to be material so I kind of want to be able to share this with at least a few people so we can plan effectively.

Interest to hear what others did and why....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DoudousDoor · 02/11/2013 09:17

DS told manager at 8 weeks, after 5 days of being unable to keep even water down.

This pregnancy, well Im 13 weeks and struggling to hide the bump (and sickness) but dont want to say anything before Christmas if poss (so around 5 months) cos Im up for a promotion and dont want to give them any excuse not to promote me. Doubt Ill be able to hide it but I think they cant legally ask me and HR told me last time that I can deny it as long as I like (not UK).

TeaAndCakeOrDeath · 02/11/2013 09:18

About 48 hours after I found out - I was lay in the office with my head on the coffee table trying to stop retching so might have been a bit of a giveaway!
I also work with young people, some of who have anger issues and may fight/lash out etc so I had to brief my team and boss that I wasn't in a position to restrain or separate fights anymore and that they'd have to 'watch' me so they could jump in if something kicked off

BroodyTroody · 02/11/2013 09:32

I told work about 5 weeks as i knew there was lots of changes in our team and it would do them a favour to know!
I'm 12 weeks tomorrow and I've told loads of people- I just can't help myself!

vj32 · 02/11/2013 09:33

I told work officially at 12 weeks to get the time off for my scan. I had told my line manager about two weeks before that.

Last time I told someone much earlier as I was feeling as dizzy and thought there was a chance of me collapsing at work as I have low blood pressure and a history of fainting.

CherryLips1980 · 02/11/2013 09:50

Technically, as my immediate boss is my boyfriend, about 5 minutes after I got my BFP. Was not a huge surprise to him as he knew we were TTC ;)

Our main boss we told after a private reassurance scan at 10 weeks as we are 2 of the 3 managers there, so had implications staff wise. Rest of the staff we told after the 12 week nuchal scan/test.

Am 40 weeks today; desperate to meet this baby now! Congratulations OP :)

Lavenderhoney · 02/11/2013 11:13

I wasn't going to say anything til 12 weeks, but my boss pulled me in when I was 6 weeks, and offered me a directorship, loads of travel and responsibilities. I had to say something as I didn't want it and planned to take full maternity of a year, and dh had just been offered a job abroad.

Oh what a mistake that was.

Champagnebubble · 02/11/2013 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LightTripper · 02/11/2013 12:32

If told at around 8 weeks as I had a work trip coming up that I didn't think I could do due to sickness. All fine, and definitely helped with flexibility... Though was a bit weird that my boss knew before my family. But really couldn't see a way around it.

TransatlanticCityGirl · 02/11/2013 12:33

For my first, I told them at 16 weeks. I work in HR so I am hyper aware of discrimination which is rife and I wanted to wait until bonus decisions had been made - I had been hoping to make it to 20 weeks (I know of several bankers who have managed to keep it hidden that long) but I got to the point where I was showing and wanted to be able to relax.
Now pregnant for my 2nd and I'm going to have to tell at 13-14 weeks as I'm showing much earlier. We're also months away from bonus decisions being made so I don't have much reason to hide it. either way I'm screwed

BohemianRaspberry · 02/11/2013 14:26

I told them at 12 wks but only as I had had an mc before Christmas and was deeply superstitious until I had actually seen the little critter on the screen.

However, I know the colleague before me told then at 8 weeks as she had severe morning sickness and needed it put down as sickness due to maternity.

Still took them until just two weeks ago to organise my cover though!

Zoze · 02/11/2013 15:02

For similar reasons to you I told the director I work for before I was 5 weeks. After him I'm second in command as it were and we had started to set targets and budgets for next year when I knew I wasn't going to be there, and it all felt wrong and that I was lying.

I explained that I knew it was v early days and all sorts could happen but I felt I owed it to him not to lead him on. I set out who I was happy for him to tell, the MD, HR, and the ops director and that under no circumstance did I want anyone in our office to find out about it.

I feel I made the right decision for both me and my work and font regret the way it panned out, although I appreciate I was in a lucky position as I didn't really have any doubts over it.

marriedinwhiteisback · 02/11/2013 17:39

I'm really surprised that anyone would want to tell work before 12 weeks at the earliest unless there were real health and safety issues. As for getting time off for appointments - how many do you need nowadays fgs? When I had my children you needed to see your GP for the confirmation - booking letter for the hospital to go off. Even 20 years ago GP surgeries offered 6pm appointments. After that it was a booking appointment at about 12 weeks and a nuchal scan between 11 and 13 weeks. I took annual leave for the booking appointment. The nuchal scan wasn't actually available for baby 1 and for baby 2 it was still only being offered as a research project at KCH and you could just turn up at 5pm - I remember we waited for two hours and were thrilled to see a healthy everything.

I told work the first time at 16 weeks (lost the baby at 17 weeks) and the second time kept it quiet until I was 18 weeks. And unless women are too ill to work or a doctor has recommended adjustments they should be performing their usual contractual duties, shouldn't they?

manzanillaplease · 02/11/2013 18:58

About 18 weeks for me with DC1. By that point I was wearing skirts with elasticated waists and unstructured jackets, but the boss hadn't guessed - probably becaue I wasn't married! I had also managed to go on two business trips with him abroad and make it look as though I was swigging gin by careful timing of when I arrived in the bar and who ordered the drinks, so I always got neat tonic waters :)

I could have told him earlier, I was luckily in a very secure job. But i just felt it was private - also it had all come as a bit of a surprise to me :) so I wanted to get used to it first!

bonkersLFDT20 · 02/11/2013 23:06

DS1 after 12 week scan.
DS2 I ended up telling very senior person at about 8 weeks because there was a hoo haa with contract renewals. I was due to get a new 5 year contract (grant funded science job) but there was a delay so we were told we'd get a 1 year one until the admin. was sorted out. Eeeeek. While I had no reason to think it wouldn't turn out well, I had visions of me having a 1 year contract, telling them I was pg and then another contract not being issued. Told big boss and by the end of the week the 5 year contract had arrived.

ems1910 · 02/11/2013 23:07

I told my work as soon as I found out but this was mainly due to the nature of the work I do (care assistant) and the fact my mum is the manager!

LightTripper · 02/11/2013 23:41

Well I guess there are two reasons people tell. In my case I was retching into the bin and didn't think I could make the "stomach bug" excuse wash more than once so needed to work from home and skip some client meetings/convert them to calls, so felt I owed it to my boss to explain what was going on. Others have said for longer term business planning reasons or there were specific aspects of the job that weren't safe to do. Otherwise I agree I would have waited, but really, it didn't feel that big a deal to tell early, although I obviously would have preferred to tell my family first.

Junebugjr · 03/11/2013 00:04

Dd1 - about 5/6 weeks when the Hyperemesis kicked in and had to go to hospital.
Dd2- 2 hours after my BFP as I could already feel the HG coming on and wanted to make sure there was cover for my job as I knew I'd be in hospital for a while.

Mlouise211 · 03/11/2013 02:00

Hi All, just found out today I am around 4 weeks pregnant and although I am happy I am really scared at the prospect of telling my boss, she is the HR manager but as I work for her and my one other colleague has reduced her hours I know already the news is going to go down like a lead balloon! Any tips on when I should break the news and how to approach my unapproachable boss as I don't think I will be getting a supportive response. This will be seen as a huge inconvenience to her and I'm worried I won't be treated the same once she knows even though there are laws in place!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 03/11/2013 09:52

Mlouise it's been a while since I had a baby and the rules have probably changed. I'd get your booking appointment arranged with your your mw and read up on what you are entitled to, then maybe make her a cuppa, give her a cake and tell her. If you think she's going to be frosty tell her on a Friday afternoon rather than a Monday morning

Congratulations too

RedCountryRoads · 03/11/2013 19:20

I'm quite looking forward to telling my boss. This will be mine and my husbands first. I've never ever been maternal and I deal with Children on a daily basis! I think his face will be a picture. He will have to pull his finger out as I do a hell of a lot of his support work. I'll be doing some serious training up for my replacement.

I'm 4 weeks pregnant. I'm going to tell him before my works Xmas do which is mid December as a night without me drinking will be as obvious as a neon flashing sign. I've never been on a works do without a good few pints!

RunDougalRunQuiteFast · 03/11/2013 19:29

We were in the middle of redundancies and new contract negotiations, so I fudged my dates and told work when I was actually 22 weeks! I'd had a mmc shortly before so didn't want to tell people till I was pretty sure things were going well anyway. I'm quite tall and long bodied so hid it well, or else people were just terribly polite, and didn't point out the bulge!

MyNameIsWinkly · 03/11/2013 20:20

I didn't tell work with my first pregnancy, but then had to take time off when a mmc was discovered at 9 weeks.

This time I told them at 6 weeks - but I'm a front line police officer, I'm not risking my pregnancy. Also the day I told them I had to stop the car we were patrolling in and hang over a bin in the street as I felt so sick. Not a good look, and tbh I'm of no use to my colleagues like that.

mrsannekins · 03/11/2013 20:37

I told my manager when i was 6 wks as i had to have a couple of early scans and needed the time off work. But I didn't tell anyone else until right after my 12 weeks scan....turned out they had all already twigged as I suddenly stopped drinking tea and coffee as the smell made me sick and only ate cheddars for 6 weeks!

fl0b0t · 04/11/2013 09:10

I was signed off for three weeks with sickness from weeks 7-10 and then was very delicate still for weeks after that.... so I had to tell work much earlier than I planned on. It's important to know how you feel about your employers- if you have any reason to think they might screw you over- be very careful what you tell them and when! Good luck!

fl0b0t · 04/11/2013 09:26

PS marriedinwhiteisback

I work a full day with a 2 hour commute each way- so yes my drs is open until 6pm but I'm never home by then- so getting an apt would have involved a day off. Having said that I could have worked from home in my job and just gone to the drs, or just gone anyway as they have to let you have time off for a dr appt (?) anyway, but just highlighting that it's not that easy for everyone. Most people I know work in a manner which means a dr appt is difficult to book outside of work time.

I had about 4 dr appt in one week to get myself antisickness medication- they don't just like to give you a prescription for these things and you have to be quite persistant. And if you have a lovely easy healthy pregnancy then you won't need many dr appts, however there are many out there less fortunate who end up having a lot of appointments.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your baby- I know people who have told work at 7 weeks and miscarried at 8, and those who have told work at 16 weeks and miscarried at 26weeks- so really the 12 week rule wouldn't help in these situations.

There are a huge range of jobs out there that may need duties altered due to pregnancy. Just because you might hae been able to carry out your duties as normal does not mean it's the same for everyone else! I know people who work with chemicals (photography labs), heavy lifting (retail), risky encvironments (mental health patients), sport jobs etc so there's a huge number of factors that may effect when you tell your boss and whether you need your duties changed slightly!

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