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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

How to deal with unwanted bump touching.

40 replies

sunshinemeg · 30/10/2013 15:17

I need tips please fellow pregnant ladies. This is my firs pregnancy. I'm 23 weeks and most definitely showing.
My problem is, I honestly don't mind DH touching bump, that's a good thing and I love it when he does.
BUT that's it. I don't like anyone else doing it, especially when not asking first. How do I deal with it?
Saw MIL last week after they had been away 3 months, I was one step in the door and her hands were there. No asking first, and when I seemed a little unimpressed by it (I did my best not to be obvious about my feelings) she said "well what did you expect?" As if it's my problem and that's it!
Help please!

OP posts:

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pumpkinsweetie · 30/10/2013 21:32

Get a fly swatter from poundland No explaining then, just swat em!

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AnyFuckerWillDo · 30/10/2013 21:38

I wouldn't be unimpressed with MIL either!! Oorrhh seems abit cruel. Her little GC in there and she wants to bond. What's the problem?
I showed both my bumps off with pride and wouldn't of bothered if the postman copped a feel so suppose I'm different x

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TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 30/10/2013 22:43

Nobody ever did this to me.

That said, my resting facial expression is 'Death Stare'

Agree with everyone that said NOBODY should do this and it is completely unacceptable to touch someone's body without (preferably written) permission. Pregnant or not.

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MrTumblesKnickers · 30/10/2013 22:50

Her little GC in there and she wants to bond. What's the problem?

Are you seriously suggesting the MIL can bond with her future baby through layers of abdominal fat and uterus?

Without wanting to get too serious, the 'problem' is that from a young age we're taught that our bodies are ours and we're in control of who touches them. Suddenly when we get pregnant this all goes out the window and it feels like we're fair game and if we don't like people touching us we get eye rolls and told to lighten up.

I'm also proud of my bump, but I'm proud of my tits too and the same rules apply to them!

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MrTumblesKnickers · 30/10/2013 22:51

OP I didn't mean to suggest you had layers of fat, btw!

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greentshirt · 30/10/2013 22:52

I read on here the other day 'if you didn't put it in there and you won't be the one getting it out of there don't touch it!'

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Jolleigh · 30/10/2013 23:08

MrTumbles - LOVING the tits analogy. I may have to steal that one

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sunshinemeg · 30/10/2013 23:10

Just left family meal, reading the latest comments really made me giggle. MIL wants to bond? Tough!!
Love the last comment about if you didn't put it in there. Lol.
I used DH as a barrier and kept my hand in the way. Didn't feel comfortable telling MIL to keep hands off but she didn't try again so it turns out DH had told her to keep hands off for me.

OP posts:

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ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow · 31/10/2013 08:23

I hate bump touching from anyone except my DH and DS! I think it's terribly intrusive and presumptive for people to just cop a feel, whatever their relationship!
Glad you sorted it out with your DH and mil!
I don't actually understand the posters who think your body is public property just because you are pregnant!!

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MightilyOats · 31/10/2013 08:37

Get your own back if you breastfeed by doing what my friend does and saying 'that's my breastmilk on your arm/shoulder/chest' when baby inevitably voms on them...

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misskatamari · 31/10/2013 08:55

I personally don't mind friends and family touching mine but know many people find it uncomfortable.

I'm a teacher and a super excited year 10 even had a pat recently whilst squealing in excitement - which was just really sweet.

One lady in my dept (who is kind of the department "mum" to is all) is always having a stroke and she got muddled up recently and started stroking my arse instead - rather amusing!

I do like the advice of doing it back to them of you don't like it

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Emilycee · 31/10/2013 11:34

I LOVE the 'Fuck off' t shirt! ha ha ha!

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Julietee · 31/10/2013 13:52

First of all, it's not ok if you don't like it, and you shouldn't have to just put up with someone violating your boundaries.

Could you wear a long, loose cardigan that hangs over the bump so it's no so tempting and out there?

I'm not a social hugger and, by standing back at hugging time, people in my (not immediate) family have got that it's not me and I rarely get an attempt now. Maybe a similar tack would work.

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Xenadog · 31/10/2013 22:07

I don't mind friends asking if they can touch my bump - I will happily let them but if strangers or even people whom I know (but aren't friends) tried to touch me then they would get a mouthful. They won't be touching my baby randomly when she arrives so why on earth do they think they can touch my body which encase the baby at this stage?

I don't care if I offend people as after all they aren't worried about offending me by touching me are they?

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gemmal88 · 03/11/2013 10:24

I genuinely do not understand why people feel the need to do this.

It's not like having a cuddle of the baby, it's just weird.

I'm only 13 weeks and not showing (a bit cuddlier but no bump!) and a woman I know touched my stomach. Very, very strange.