Smoking

[smokyjoan]

Feel ashamed and embarrassed so have name changed...

I'm 11 weeks pregnant and feel rough, constant sickness, nausea the works.

But I'm still smoking.
It seems to be the only thing the eases the nausea.

I was a heavy smoker before and am now smoking between 2 and 5 cigarettes a day, so I have cut down a lot. Some days I only have one, but I have at Keats one every day. I feel so guilty but I just can't seem to stop.
I'm hiding it from my partner and everyone else.
I was using an electric cigarette which was helping but now all the flavours make me vomit and I can't face it.

I always said I'd give up smoking the second I found out and I genuinely thought I could do it but it's so much harder than I thought it would be.

Please help, any advice will be amazing, I feel so awful about it

I'm not a smoker, but didn't want you to go unanswered. Please don't feel ashamed! You've cut down to sometimes just one a day, I don't know how many you smoked before but that's quite an achievement and will have helped a lot.

I'd mention it to your midwife/doctor, don't be worried about doing so - if you really do want to quit they'll be best placed to help you. I've heard in the past about some people being advised not to quit cold turkey as the stress it could cause would be worse than the smoking itself, please don't beat yourself up about it, be kind to yourself.

If it were me, I'd make the nausea work for me and do the old-school thing of putting a load of butts in a jar with water and smelling it when I had the urge.

You'd probably only need to do it once before the thought of smoking made you heave.

Good luck.

Try not to beat yourself up too much, you're trying and you realise this is not a good thing for the baby. I'm afraid though you just need to bite the bullet and stop. The nausea should abate soon as your hormones calm down so pls try and take comfort in that. Have you tried other remedies? I used to find the pressure point bracelets helped me and nibbling plain crackers every so often. Good luck with it xx

Don't beat yourself up too much, it seems like you've done really well in cutting down. I quit when I found out I was pregnant, started up again at about 16 weeks (3 a day) and quit again at 23 weeks. I'm now 34 weeks, all signs are that baby is healthy, my midwife and consultant did say that smoking 5 a day was obviously better than 20, and none better than five, but you have cut down lots so you should focus on that, and that you can cut down a bit more or quit, if you want to get the support of your midwife.

I have gone through periods where cig smoke has made me feel so sick, and am going through a phase where I'm crabing them again, but have taken up knitting to keep my hands busy.

I did find when I cut right down I smoke rollies and got down to one a day by just having one puff when I was stessed and leaving it there.

It is really difficult, so focus on the positive that you have cut down, rather than beating yourself up.

I know there will probably be a deluge of nay sayers and trolls who may start posting as it is an emotive subject, but not many people are actually versed on the research and tend to base their sweeping judgements on preformed prejudices and one off stories they know. I'll bet many of them don't cut antibiotics and hormones (in meat) out of their diets, or know how harmful it is to trot around the city centre breathing in carcinogens. We do everything based on risk, and If you know the risks (and they are that..risks, not certainties) and accept them, then it is an individual's choice.

I quit when I was pregnant and I know how hard it is. I don't know what will work for you, but you could try one or more of the following:

Read Allan Carr's book.
Listen to hypnosis CDs or go to a hypnotherapist.
Scan in your 12-week scan picture and photoshop a cigarette into your baby's hand. Look at it when you crave a cigarette.
Chewing gum/lollipops/anything that keeps your mouth/hands busy.

And just know that the cravings WILL pass, whether you have a cigarette or not, just accept that you are feeling them and be stronger than them. They make you think the way to stop them is to smoke, but actually the way to stop them is NOT to smoke. They will go away forever and it will feel amazing. Not immediately, but you will be so proud of what you have done for your baby and yourself, I promise. You can do it, OP. Believe me, if I can, anyone can!

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

You've done amazing to ut down. Now just stop. Seriously stop. i was you. Smoked for 20 years, got pregnsnt struggled like fuck to stop. But I managed. I got hypnotised. Worked alongside the nausea.

Smoking doesn't help with morning sickness.

If your child has any medical conditions you will for the rest of their lives womder if it was your fault. Do you really want to live with that? My mates lad has a brain tumour, its horrendous, she can't forgive herself for smoking during her pregnancy though their is no proof that it was from the smoking it is a possible link.

Try everything, hypnotism, counselling, smelling jars of butts, whatever just try it.

Good luck. You can do it :)

Raddy that was a fucking nasty sick thing to say. I hope you feel ashamed of yourself.

You can stop, and you will do because you choose to do what's best for your baby.

Just choose to smoke one less fag at a time. It doesn't have to be forever either. By next summer you can enjoy a smoke and a glass of wine in the sun guilt-free.

No need for that, OP obviously feels bad enough and is coming to ask for advice which is incredibly brave considering the subject!

Raddy I have reported your post and just hope that some of the women on this site who have had to deal with cot death don't see it.

Your poor relative, not only does she lose a child but she has to put up with fucking sick, pathetic attitudes like yours lining up to blame her for the death of her beloved child.

You make me sick.

No I absolutely don't.

I have seen the absolute devastation of cot death in our family. If anything could have been done to prevent it, anything in the world wouldn't we wind the clock back?

Smoking is a main risk factor for cot death. Your baby is 4x more likely to die from SIDs if you smoke. The advice to help prevent SIDS is to not smoke.

The OP may want people to say, don't beat yourself up or well done for cutting down. But not me. I would plead with her to stop smoking. It simply isn't worth the risk.

hi smoky, I'm not a smoker so can't talk from experience, but what I can tell you is that you know you shouldn't really be smoking or you wouldn't feel guilty about it. you need to just remind yourself of the beautiful baby you have inside you every time you want a cigarette. its probably more difficult as you probably can't feel the baby moving yet so it doesnt seem real in some ways. you will do the right thing or you wouldn't be here talking about it

good luck!

Speak to your midwife, they will have stop smoking support available to you.

It is safer to use NRT (Nicotine Replacement Therapy) products than to smoke in pregnancy.

You've done really well to cut down, so get help to quit those last five! Good luck.

Try hypnotherapy. www.hypnotherapists.org has a search facility to find qualified and accredited therapists in your area. It's how I stopped and it was brilliant.

If you smoke through your pregnancy you'll smoke when the baby's born. It'll be easier to stop now.

Good luck hon. You can do it. (:

Raddy I am a firm believer of tough love and when delivered in the right manner it can be amazingly helpful.

However, what you have posted is nasty and insensitive not only to the op but to many other parents who use these boards who have lost their children to cot death.

I was a smoker before pregnancy.

WELL DONE on cutting down!
Its more than a lot of mothers do.

Smoking is a hard habit to kick- I went cold turkey when i found out & it was hard but do-able. I kept my baby scan in my purse so if i did go to buy a pack then that stopped me.

Good luck

I stopped when I found out I was pregnant. Every time I went to smoke I imagined putting a pillow over my unborn baby's face. Sounds horrible but that's what you might as well be doing when you smoke.
It's a harsh way of putting it but you really cannot continue to smoke. You can stop.

Well done, OP, for cutting down already.

This may cheer you up slightly but you appear to be the only other woman out there who found that smoking helped the nausea - because that's exactly why I struggled with quitting too. I'd be fine all day with NRT, my sickness would take over, I'd throw up horribly when I got home... and then have a cigarette It felt like the only good part of my day. The switch to quit never really went off in my head either.

Firstly, don't beat yourself up too much. I struggled on and off with cigarettes my entire pg and had a healthy baby. Of course that's just anecdotal and by far the best thing you can do is quit, but don't beat yourself up. You have cut down, that's fantastic.

If you can afford hypnotherapy, I've heard great things about it.

Otherwise please do talk to your mw about getting the support to stop smoking. And please don't feel ashamed. Ignore posters like Raddy. I know where she is coming from, but guilt is the last thing to help someone quit an addictive substance.

Good luck, and I just wanted to say that you're not alone and you're not the only woman who has struggled with this.

Sorry, meant to add well done on cutting down so far. The next step shouldn't be too hard now.

I was a heavy smoker for 22 years. I've smoked through pregnancies. Im very ashamed of smoking especially when I was pregnant.

Like you, I would only smoke very little whilst I felt sick but as the sicknesses would fade the smoking would increase. I spent months denying how much I smoked. Months saying tomorrow I will stop. Months feeling guilty & deeply ashamed.

Last December I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't planned & if you knew my circumstances, you would consider a pregnancy to be a negative thing. But- I was very happy, much to my own surprise.

I managed to stop smoking at 8 weeks. I had a MMC at 12 weeks. I was devastated. Literally, losing my baby was as difficult a thing to cope with, as being told my ds was autistic or my mil had terminal cancer.

Everyone thought I would start smoking again. It would have been so easy to have a fag.

I made a conscious decision that my baby's life & short existence wouldn't be in vain & her lasting legacy would be, that she was the baby I gave up smoking for...

Im now 27 weeks pregnant. I crave most days but I CHOSE not to smoke.

Its your choice, no one else's. Make your choice & stick to it. Pregnancy is a relatively short period of time. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your baby.

I'd smoked for 10 years before pregnancy OP and very heavily most days. I did it cold turkey from the moment I got the BFP, but for me there really was a mental barrier...I couldn't even imagine myself with a fag in my hand while pregnant.

I had however tried quitting many times before then and I was most successful on sheer determination from statistics. Raddy's delivery may have been harsh, but the stats do show a connection between SIDS and smoking. There are of course loads more negatives, but I'm sure you've looked them up and that's why you feel guilty. I'd personally sau your best chance is to acquaint yourself with all these stats in an unavoidable way (in giant letters on your walls?) and experiment with loads of different flavours of electronic cigarette fluid. I'd pair this with trying to use the smell of butts to make yourself sick...one of my first pregnancy voms was over bacon and I've still not eaten pork as I find the smell vile (oh cruel world!)

I'm not trying to be a cow or make you feel bad...I'd be in exactly the same situation as you if the mental block hadn't slammed down. This is how I'd have gone about quitting if that hadn't happened.

Best of luck and congratulations on your pregnancy.

I cut down both times but didn't stop, now I have gave up for over a year I feel guilty I couldn't do it then.

They were both fine and I asked the midwife with dc2 to check placenta to see how healthy it was and she was surprised I was a smoker but I still feel guilty now.

I can't recommend allan Carr easy way to stop smoking enough.

Thank you all so much for your input and I expected negativity and accept that.

I will look into hypnotherapy and will call my MW to sort out something, wish me luck!