Not feeling as attached to this pregnancy as to my first. Normal?

[DoudousDoor]

With DS I really seemed to really live every moment of the pregnancy (helped by the permanent reminder of being sick throughout the pregnancy!).

We were so excited and planned loads and talked about names and bought clothes and even moved house as we were in a one-bed flat.

With this pregnancy though I feel almost detached which is quite upsetting. I barely think about the exciting bits, its more a trial to be got over juggling a stressful job (where I'm hiding the pregnancy for at least another 2 months if possible), a toddler, 'morning' sickness and bone-numbing tiredness which I can't give into because of my job and my non-sleeping toddler

We don't need any more clothes, the bedroom is already done (the DC will be sharing), we already have baby name books etc. but it all seems so far away that we haven't even started thinking about names, and anyway, we still have the lists from last time.

We had the first scan which was lovely, seeing the baby bouncing around and I really was happy but now I'm back into a daze of struggling through each day and it almost doesn't seem real (apart from the sickness).

So now of course I'm worried I won't feel as happy when DC2 arrives as I did with DS.

Am just over 13 weeks.

I felt the same - I was curious to see what DC no2 looked like, but apart from that I could only think of how bloody hard work it was going to be once he arrived. I didn't feel excited at all.
It all changed once he arrived though - I love him so much, he's awesome. Apart from at 4am, he's not so awesome then

Ah thanks thats nice to hear.

I just feel for DC2 already that his mum and dad (DH feels the same) aren't excited. Despite the fact that DC2 is very much planned and wanted, the pregnancy is almost an anticlimax.

I'm hoping I'll feel differently once the baby starts moving.

I've not had DC2, but I wouldn't be remotely surprised to feel like you do now. You've got the anticipation of the shit bits during pg, haven't you? You know how long your sickness will last, you know how big and heavy you might get, all that stuff.

First time around you can just focus on the baby. It's new, it's novel, it's the first time. You've got the time to spend 4 hours online looking at cot bedding. Second time around you have a DC to look after.

I'd say this was all completely normal, and don't worry about how this might affect how you feel when your baby is born. You've just not got time at the moment to wallow in pregnancy lethargy and excitement.

Yup. Barely thought of it til the scan at 24 wks where gender described. Then forgot again til I couldn't see feet!

It ain't the same second time to be sure, but it's nicer once out. Far less scary!

Thanks. DH says it's just that DS takes up so much time and energy and brain space that there's none left for number 2 (yet).

I agree with knowing what pregnancy has in store too. Months of sickness, discomfort etc. and it lasts SUCH a long time!!!

I almost hope it's a girl (don't really care in reality) just so I have to buy some clothes!

i don't really enjoy being pregnant, and i think its very hard to 'bond' with your baby that early anyway. its different when its your first because its all so novel and new and like your dp said said you have the time and head space.
tbh i did struggle to bond with dc2 initially, but there were other issues surrounding that and i felt the same with dc3's pregnancy and bonded with her as soon as she popped out!

With pg no two all I thought about was how DS1 would react. It IS a totally different experience and not really surprising that one pays less attention the second time round. Apart from anything else having a toddler makes you too busy to think much about it.

When DD arrived it was brilliant, must easier than the first time round. You can enjoy them without being so anxious about stuff as an experienced parent.

FWIW I have just had number three and the pregnancy was horrific. I resented every HG and SPD ridden minute. I totally adore my new ds though, he is fab.

I feel the same. I have a 19 month old and my last pregnancy was easy, no sickness, slept well & felt excited. I'm freelance so I was able to yoga a few times a week and swim during the day. This time I'm trying to work as much as I can to earn money now, look after my toddler and just get through it.
Also I feel guilty that I really want another girl. I know this is stupid and selfish but that's how it is. Got a few weeks to wait yet to find out at the scan and I'm worried I'll be disappointed of its a boy.

I feel this way too but it is actually a bit of a relief as I was so anxious and doom-laden all the way through my first pregnancy. I worried about every possible little thing. I am much more disconnected with this pregnancy - and so much more relaxed too. Silver linings and all that!