Anxiety

[Madratlady]

I'm 28+3 and turning into a nervous wreck. I constantly feel panicky and on the verge of tears.

I think it's partly work related, I love my job but it's hard work, there's pressure and I feel like I'm struggling to do it well because of SPD slowing me down. I've only been there 2 1/2 months so I'm worried about management thinking I'm rubbish when I'm just struggling physically. I'm also having trouble getting the form for MA from the admin person, I've been asking for a few weeks and I'm worried I'll end up having to work for longer than I can/want to because I won't have MA arranged. I plan to stop at 36 weeks but I understand that MA application is complicate and can take ages.

I'm also slightly worried because the fluid around the baby is borderline low and they want to monitor me more closely, which means asking for more time off work (I only work 10 mins walk from the hospital but time out of my work day means I get less done and inconvenience them at work). They were suggesting I get signed off for a rest at my growth scan last week but I can't afford to be off with no pay!

I'm now worried baby will arrive early and we won't have everything ready and I won't have MA so won't have an income.

And part of me is stressing about having everything ready for the baby, even though we have most of the essentials ordered or bought already so that's a pointless worry really.

Hopefully I'll feel better when I start maternity leave.

Oh and we're waiting to find out if DH's work will extend his contract past mid december or make him permanent. It's highly unlikely they won't keep him on as his boss has said he's trying to sort it out with the 'big' boss asap but still. Another worry.

Sorry about the whinging, I needed to get it off my chest.

If you need to take time off then it won't be unpaid - as a minimum they have to pay you SSP. What's the form you're waiting for from work, can't you just use this one?

SSP doesn't kick in for 4 days though does it? I work 4 x 12 hours a week so I'd still lose a week's wages and to be honest wouldn't want more than a week off anyway. Of course if there was a problem with the baby which meant I couldn't work then I'd just have to take time off, but when it's more about me then it's not fair on my colleagues. I'm not convinced working hard is going to affect the amniotic fluid levels, is it?

I thought work had to give you a form to prove you're not eligible for MA? SMP1 or something like that. It does look like I can go ahead an do that form you pointed out though Rock so I'll dig out my wage slips and do that, thanks for pointing it out!

I'm pretty sure my brain is making everything seem worse right now, I'm usually quite a calm person.

I know finance is a worry but please don't push yourself if you are struggling.