Total change in circumstances during pregnancy.

[Shellywelly1973]

I don't really know why I'm posting...I suppose it might help me some positives in my situation.

Since my bfp my life has changed so much. This is dc6 & planned.

My mil died 6 weeks ago. She was a great help to me. My sister moved about a month ago.
My dp has developed a complication from previous surgery. He is physically unable to even do the garden. Massive surgery needed to correct everything. Surgery will be in the next few months.
Ds5 is struggling at school & now school have said they think he has ASD.
Ds8 does have a diagnosis of ASD& ADHD. His carer has become totally unreliable & unhelpful. I dont employ her Social Services do. Im currently having ds needs reassessed by social services to organise a new care package.
We are all on our own in this city. No family left. No close friends.

The house is hideous as its full of stuff from mils. Im exhausted. I work full time from home as childcare is impossible with ds SN. I normally cope so well but at the moment im sinking.

There's nothing I can do but get on with it!

I'm sorry you're feeling like you're sinking. I find it helpful to look at one thing at a time.

What's wrong with the house? Does it need decorating or just getting on top of things? Can you enlist the kids to help and just pick one room to start with?

Will DP be better after recovering from surgery? (I know that might be a tricky one to predict, but if you can reasonably expect him to make a good recovery is it something to hold onto that he'll be able to help more at some point in the future?)

Is a new carer for DS8 part of what's being sorted or could you ring SS and explain the situation with your current carer?

You say no close friends, but do you have any friends nearby you could ask for help? I'm always amazed by how much people rally round to help when they realise you're struggling and acquaintances can become very good friends. Is there anyone you could ask to babysit in the evenings in exchange for wine so you can relax/get some work done?

Or perhaps speak to a HV, I know some areas can arrange support or mothers help.

You will cope. Everything's hard right now and harder if you're all grieving the loss of your mother-in-law, but you will find a way to get through the next few months.

Sorry if none of that was particularly useful/helpful, but didn't want you to go unanswered ((hugs)).