Help with maternity leave

[BatPenguin]

Can anyone advise me on maternity leave please.
I am 24 weeks pg and have been off work since I was 6 weeks due to hyperemesis. I attempted to return to work a few weeks ago but only managed 3 days before going off on the sick again - i was exhausted and spent most of the time in the work toilets.
I can't see me being able to return to work yet (or maybe at all before baby is born if I don't improve) and have asked if my maternity leave can start at 36 weeks. My team leader told me today that he would 'put it to the office manager' but to be aware that they are thinking of forcing me to start ML soon.

Can they do this? I thought legally they couldn't force me to go before 36 weeks.

They can't force you to start mat leave until 36 weeks. Until then you can stay signed off if you are unfit to work.

Tell your manager to speak to HR as they will be able to advise on the law! Your team leader is probably just blissfully arrogant ignorant

they may be unaware that they can't do this..
OR they may be trying to force you into leaving earlier - DON'T!
it would be gender discrimination if we were forced onto mat leave earlier, since men can't get hyperemesis.
sit tight and do what you need in order to take care of yourself and your baby.

This article is very helpful:

www.maternityaction.org.uk/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/sicknessduringpregnancymaternityleave.pdf

They can't ask you to start mat leave before 36 weeks, although if you get sick pay over the statutory amount then once you have used up all you are entitled to in your contract, they only have to pay statutory.

You poor thing :( hope you feel better soon.

What LadyMedea said. Also make sure that they realise that pg related illness does not count against you on your sickness record.

I do hope the HG improves for you. It wiped me out for the first 4 months of both my pg. have you seen the Pregnancy Sickness Support website ?

Thanks for your replies.
yes I feel like they are trying to force me to go off earlier, which I can't really afford.
Pasty- thank you for the link, I will forward it to my manager. I think I am entitled to full sick pay for 6 months which would take me to the end of December.

Bike- thanks. Yes I checked that they are aware that HG related absence cannot be held against me.

Could do without the stress of this tbh, feel awful as it is. It's not as if I'm taking the piss being paid to stay at home - I would much rather be in work feeling better and enjoying pregnancy.

I stopped working at 29 weeks. I could have got signed off until 36 weeks but that wouldn't have been fair on the people I was working with when I knew I wouldn't get any better.

If you want to go back to work for the company, I would consider taking early maternity leave. They can't force you to go on ML early, but you certainly won't make any friends in your company and management can make it very awkward for you on your return. Of course they can't do anything illegal, but they can definitely make it a horrible place to work.

I don't agree with vj32.

Don't feel forced into going off any earlier than you want to. Hg is awful. You are sick. If you want to go off before 36 weeks, fair enough, but if not, don't feel pressured. Remember the earlier you go off, the earlier you end up going back.

Hope you feel better soon!

I also disagree with vj32 - in 18 years time you won't be wishing you'd been fairer on your present employer when you look back on the newborn days, if you start your leave early but can only afford a limited period of maternity leave, you'll regret missing the baby days. This is why I'm on sick leave at 34 weeks and staying on it until mat leave kicks in at 36. I feel a greater sense of responsibility to my baby than my employer and can only afford 6 months off!

Vj32 - how could they make it difficult for me to go back? I have plenty of friends in work many of whom have young children so they know how hard pregnancy can be so I'm not worried about that.
I can't afford to start maternity leave at 29 weeks as this would mean less time at home with my baby. He is my priority, I don't owe my employer anything. For the record when well I am always early for work, give 100% and have a good sickness record otherwise.

I think vj32 has a point if you are thinking of returning after maternity leave. I think employers are a bit 'you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours'. Of course they cant do anything illegal now or when you return, but if for instance you wanted a bit of flexibility when you go back, maybe you want an early finish or part time hours or whatever, something that iis within their discretion it might be worth having a chat about it.

Again, I disagree.

I'm not sure why anyone would think that someone suffering with hg needs to scratch their employers back.

The OP doesn't need a guilt trip too, she is surely suffering enough?

I wasnt trying to give her a guilt trip, sorry if it came across that way. I just mean having a conversation, e.g.I'll start maternity leave at say 34 weeks if I can tag annual leave onto my maternity leave etc. Just trying to come across as accommodating to the company so they might be more accommodating on her return.

I really don't get it. Over the years I have been in my job I have seen several colleagues have long term sick ( up to about 6 months) for things like stress, depression, back problems etc. They aren't made to feel guilty for having time off, why should I? They didn't get weekly phone calls asking 'are you better yet?' 'Are you ready to come back yet?' 'Isnt your medication working, can't you try something else?' !!

They are aware that the last few weeks I have been so sick I have been vomiting blood and that no medication I've tried helps me anymore. I'm getting bloody depression from the situation, I don't need to feel like i have to keep my boss sweet as well. It's the sort of job where there are lots of people doing one job (think call centre type) so I'm not leaving a work load for others to deal with.

Sorry if I'm sounding stroppy but I feel like shite this evening.
Mandy- I asked about starting ML at 36 weeks and taking annual leave at 32 weeks ( I have lots stored up) but they didn't seem too keen on this.

Hope you feel better soon x

I just get cross about this!

Sick pregnant women Are protected by law in this country for a good reason. They don't need colleagues or anyone else making them worry about the time off they are having or the future implications of that time off.

You are seriously not worried about being signed off for 30 weeks?

I was off for a combined total of about 5 weeks in pregnancy, took maternity at 29 weeks and my employer still gave me a shit reference later on, so I am speaking from my own experience I guess. (Not a shit reference exactly, just said I was ill so often they couldn't comment on my work performance. Which is what I mean about how they can make your life hard without doing anything you can prove as discriminatory.)

It sounds though like your team leader is not being sympathetic if you already offered to start with annual leave at 32weeks - I would have thought they would have tried to negotiate a bit from there. (Not that they can negotiate but if they are paying you enhanced maternity maybe they could agree something.)

I had very much your attitude the first time, and like I said it later caused trouble for me, hence me warning you to be careful if you want to go back to your job. Because while 3 weeks less with your baby is not great, its much better than taking a one year old to the job centre.

Yeah I see what you mean, its just hard to be that rational when I feel ill and hormonal and have to think about going back to work after PFB!
I will wait and see what they say when I speak to them next week. I thought I was being quite reasonable offering to start leave at 32 weeks but don't think they agreed.

Hmmm, difficult one.

One one hand I think you need to look after and out for yourself as no one else will, if you're signed off by your doctor they'll just have to suck it up.

On the other hand, I too have experienced how "nice" employers can be with pg women without actually breaking the law (I also thought I was very protected - pha!). So I agree with vj that you do need to consider the implications, or at least be aware.

What ever you decide, hope you feel better soon!

Worry about yourself and the baby.

I was signed off work from 26 weeks with premature contractions and SPD. I was on sick leave till 36 weeks then 2 weeks holiday and started mat leave at 38 weeks as planned. My DD is now 15 months and I don't regret it at all.

If work are annoyed its there problem you are doing nothing wrong you are sick and can't work so are on sick leave. In a few months time you will be on maternity leave and have a baby to look after. They are seperate things even if the sickness is due to the pregnancy.

Don't start your ML early! You're sick, so stay on sick leave and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it. The well being of yourself and of the baby are what is important and you are too ill to work. Stay on sick leave and start ML at 36 weeks.

Thanks all