Family members in the hospital.

[purple84]

Throughout the pregnancy I have been determined not to have anyone at the hospital whilst I'm in labour apart from my DH and as all my family live 300miles away never thought I had to mention it to them.

I am due any day now and spoke to my dad last night who said he has 3 days holiday booked for when I go into labour and he will leave as soon as I say things are happening, so now I'm starting to worry he thinks he will be welcome to the hospital whilst I'm in labour!!
The only reason anyone will be allowed to visit me in hospital is if I have to stay for any reason, otherwise I just wanted people to come see baby once we got home.
I tried to hint at this on the phone last night but, well men don't really get hints do they?

My sister, who is older and has 2 DC has always had the whole family in the hospital whilst in labour but I think mainly because she had difficulties and also she has never been as independent as me, she is very young for her age especially with first when she was 21yo.

Starting to think I should time my text so he wouldn't make it to the hospital but sometimes he works away so will actually be closer than 300 miles and I know he would be very upset to not be included in the starts of labour, so maybe I will just have to be blunt when things kick off!!

Also not sure I could deal with his wife being near me whilst going through labour as she was the only thing to stress me on my wedding day, I invited her to be my help in the morning with dress etc, just her and me and whilst I wanted to put on my dress, she was stressing about how her dress looked and she needed a sewing kit to fix the bra to the inside of her dress so it didn't show, I ended up putting my own dress on and sorting myself out while she stressed herself out!!
You would have thought it was her wedding day and she kept asking me why I wasn't more stressed??
Imagine THAT during labour.......no thanks.

Text them when the baby is born, say you had other things on your mind during labour! I doubt they will hold a grudge once they see baby etc. Tell them you didn't believe it was labour until the last minute....

I agree. Don't tell anyone your in labour until after baby is born. I don't want texts or people bombarding me so I've sai to dp we aren't telling anyone I'm in labour. We will just send a big text or make calls after lil

Sorry stupid phone
After little one has arrived. I want it to be intake between me and dp. But if I want mum there I'll ring her at the time. I'm not going to tell her before as she wil just worry.

Don't be forces into giving in and letting your family be there. You're going through it and the last thing you need it's to be stressed

Hope it all goes well for you xx

Are you planning in sending a text to everyone when you're in labour?

Why?

I actually wish my in laws had visited at the hospital - can only come at visiting hours, then get kicked out 2 hours later, and no demands made of me to get them brews and cakes like when we got home!

If you don't have any children who require babysitting why would anyone need to know you are in labour? I spoke to my dad while I was in labour (it was his birthday) and just didn't mention it.

I have also said blatantly to my mum that we will arrange visiting after baby has arrived (DC2 due any day) as will depend on whether I have to have CS or not etc. Have said how much I will value practical help when I have a new baby at home.

What everyone else has said,just don't tell anyone (or your parents on particular) that you're in labour. I'm beig induced and probably won't tell anyone what date it's happening,parents and inlaws included.

If they do say anything about it pretend that you forgot your phone and hubby's was out of charge

Definitely just don't tell them. I'm expecting #2 and not happy that I've lost the privilege of just being allowed to get on with it as I need to tell the people looking after DD.

That's settled then, I won't tell them, I was just worried I was being unreasonable, as only really have my sister to compare it to and like I said she has everyone there throughout labour.

Thanks for the help ladies, good luck everyone x

I don't know anyone who has family at the hospital when in labour in the UK - thought it was an American thing. There isn't really anywhere for them to wait except the canteen and they prob won't be able to visit until you are back up on the postnatal ward possibly several hours after birth so they might as well wait at home.

You really don't need to tell anyone you're in labour, in fact my MW said its a bad idea as then you'll get texts, calls whilst you're giving birth and some people even start ringing the hospital for info! Not a good use of the staff's time.

Like I said maybe it is because my sister had a lot of complications with both births, that made sure family were around in case things went really bad!!

My family will be finding out not just after the baby is out, but when I've rested a bit, washed and feel up for visitors. They're the kind of family who would feel like they weren't being useful unless they made their way to me immediately. They're obviously lovely. But I couldn't handle them being there.

lawks, no.
My mother dropped a can of gas and air on my foot mid contraction and refused to turn off her mobile as I did hypnobirthing.
worse than useless

I had exactly this problem. My dad lives hundreds of miles away and wanted to be told as soon as I went into labour and was going to be sat at the hospital waiting so he could hold the dd when she was a few minutes old because this is what dsb and dsil had allowed. I nicely, but bluntly told him that I didn't want him driving whilst I was in labour because he would be worried; didn't want anyone waiting at the hospital; I could be in labour for days; didn't want anyone visiting until I DP and I had had chance to bond as a family and I wanted to establish bf and would rather have visitors once I was feeling up to it, ideally once we were at home. Luckily he listened to this but as it turned out no one was told until a couple hours after dd was born as we just wanted to enjoy our beautiful baby. There is something very special about that time when you're the only ones who know, I don't know why.

Also DMIL wanted to know as soon as I went into labour even though she wasn't coming to visit. She was told hours later with everyone else and didn't mind a bit

I'm very close to my parents and in laws but we didn't tell them until DD was safely delivered. This time will be different though as all the logistics of who looks after DD1 to fight over consider.

OP I'm the same I don't want any one at the hospital other than my DP. Tbh I would rather keep people away for the first week and only allow my mum and sister and my DP mum dad n sister to see baby ONCE I'm at home.

My mum will be very supportive of this but I'm not sure about DP side of the family. Over bearing cousins on his side with no doubt want to be at hospital

I've got a long way to go yet not due till April so haven't discussed this with any one yet but I'm standing my ground on this one and NO ONE will be visiting hospital even if I'm in a few days.

I know a friend when she had her first baby literally she given birth and 30 mins later her mum and dad her hubby's mums and dad and about four of her friends came to visit. shocking fair enough parents but her other friends to me were very selfish and disrespectful. She even said her self it was rather annoying them doing that.

Other than my mam I probably won't tell any one untill baby is born sounds spiteful I know but if I do I will probably have OH family cuddling a 2 hr old baby I'm not willing to take that risk lol

So your dad is expecting to take 3 days off. Let him know after the baby has been born and he can make himself useful when you're due out of hospital. I'm sure you can hand him a shopping list

You'll likely find when it all kicks off that telling anyone (other than dP) is the last thing on your mind.