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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When to tell children your expecting?

18 replies

27mummmy2boys · 22/10/2013 16:18

Sorry I'm sure this has probably been up before but thought you may be able to help as having a debate with husband. I'm 12 weeks and have had the scan, he wants to tell my 5 and 3 year old I'm expecting but I want to wait.

They know somethings going on as I'm still having morning (all day) sickness and I can't pick them up like I did. But I think they're too young and would prefer to wait but OH thinks they should know. Any feedback appreciated thanks x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Mim78 · 22/10/2013 16:25

I ended up telling my dd (nearly 5) that I was pregnant at about 15 weeks. She did seem to have noticed that something was up as she said "is that why you are so fat?"! I'm not showing very much even now at 22 weeks, but she obviously gets to see me up close.

Was really hard not telling her any sooner. I waited til 15 weeks because we had a downs scare, and so didn't want to tell her until we were sure we were going ahead. I might otherwise have told her at 12 weeks. It's hard not telling them what's up when you are feeling/being so sick.

However, it's a long time for them to wait from 12 weeks til 40 so if you can hang on a bit longer you might be sensible!

cathpip · 22/10/2013 16:27

My dc are 5 and 3, we told them after the 12week scan, excited is an understatement. They are now very good when I say that I'm tired or unwell, and come and give me snuggles on the sofa!

beela · 22/10/2013 17:17

My DS is 3, we told him after the 12 week scan. He is really pleased, but understands that it will take a long time.

I didn't feel right telling other people and talking about it without him knowing, and I didn't want him to pick it up from overhearing a conversation.

hettienne · 22/10/2013 17:23

I told 3 year old DS just before we told everyone else, as I didn't want to confuse him by people talking about it or asking questions in front of him.

TruJay · 22/10/2013 18:05

We told our son very early on as we have always been very rough and tumble with him and so he needed to know that he had to take care with mummy from now on, we did lose that baby but i didn't regret telling him early. He actually did the most beautiful thing once we had our loss when we talked about it, won't go into details as it makes me cry but it was just so lovely. With this pregnancy we again told him early due to needing him to be careful, it's not a rarity he comes running in, jumps on our bed shouting good morning bless him! He has handled both times very well, I think it has a lot to do with how mature and what personality ur child had, I don't think any 2 people will handle the subject exactly the same

TheNobodies · 22/10/2013 18:22

I don't have any other children but are very close to my siblings, my youngest siblings are boy and girl twins age 6 and boy 8. I lost my first child at 23 weeks and they took it really bad (I told them at 12 weeks). I'm now 10+ weeks pregnant and aren't Going to tell my brothers and sister until 24 weeks if not further along! But that's only because of ny circumstance..

princesscupcakemummyb · 22/10/2013 23:15

told my oldest dd4 at 7 weeks after a scan because we had a mmc in 2012 and wanted her to know to be careful with me but she was actually only 3 and a bit when i told her i think it depends on how you feel

womma · 23/10/2013 08:38

We told DD (4) quite early as well, probably about 7 weeks. Mainly due to me being floored by sickness, so she would understand why Mummy wasn't really up to much. She was delighted, and has been really thoughtful and sweet with me. She sits with me and strokes my arm if I'm feeling sick and fetches my bucket over (lovely eh?! How we'll look back on the moments we've shared over Mummy's bucket).

The downside to this has been that she's told all and sundry that Mummy's having a baby.

impecuniousmarmoset · 23/10/2013 09:20

If you don't tell anybody else, it's possible you'll get away with not saying anything for a little while (though third time bumps grow pretty fast!). But if you do, be prepared that someone else will end up letting the cat out of the bag. 5-year-old walls in particular have ears... And that's not the ideal way to find out really.

We told ours at 11w after a scan. Our 5yo was delighted, 3yo said 'oh' and went straight off to play! At 21w they now both delightedly yell 'hello, baby!' at the bump.

Original poster

27mummmy2boys · 23/10/2013 12:04

Thanks everyone! You've all really been a big help :) I'm going to wait a week for the blood results from my down syndrome test then hopefully tell them if they come back ok. So will be about 13 weeks.

Its just telling them bad news will be awful but like a few people said if I'm telling people they will pick up on it anyway.

Thanks everyone xx

OP posts:

Rosduk · 26/10/2013 22:30

I'm 10 weeks and DD already knows as I've been really sick, she's very sweet to me and very excited so although we are explaining its a long wait, for the time being she's happy with her toy babies!

lonesomeBiscuit · 26/10/2013 22:46

There are no rights and wrongs. We told our DS, then 2.5, very early (6 weeks) as it just seemed the right thing to do, also it was likely that DH and I would say something about it in his hearing so we wanted to tell him up front. He's been fabulous. Other friends waited till about 7-8 months on the basis that toddlers find it hard to understand time and expect baby to be there immediately, but DS just accepted that there was a baby in mummy's tummy and has never agitated about its actual arrival. He understands more than we realise however. I'm now 26 weeks and he strokes my tummy and says hello.

Shellywelly1973 · 26/10/2013 22:47

I waited until about 16 weeks with my current pregnancy. The older dc hadn't noticed anything!

ReallyTired · 26/10/2013 22:52

Congratulations to all pregnant ladies.

I think its unwise to tell a young child that mummy is pregnant before 12 weeks as so many pregnancies end in a miscarriage. If you are unlucky enough to experience a late miscarriage then prehaps its good for an older child to understand why mummy is so sad.

Many women show a lot earlier with a second baby than a first. It may be hard to keep a secret.

MummyPig24 · 27/10/2013 00:55

We told our 5 and 3 year olds after the first scan. We knew that other people would be talking about it when we told them and would rather they knew from us that guessing. Neither of them have commented on my rapidly expanding stomach though so I wonder if they would have asked if they hadn't been told.

MaryAnnTheDasher · 27/10/2013 06:56

We have a 3 and 1 year old and won't be telling them about their new sibling until the 12 week scan. On saying that the 3 yr old informed me last week that I have a baby in my belly and I'm only 5 weeks gone. Weird and spooky OR he's picked up on my already sticking out belly. How I am going to keep this hidden from work for another 8 weeks I do not know :-)

Panzee · 27/10/2013 06:58

My son was 3, we told him about 25 weeks.

TiredFeet · 27/10/2013 07:20

My son guessed before I took a test it was him telling me there was something in my tummy that made me realise I was late!

He has just turned 3 and has known all along but has been quite accepting of the long wait and I haven't made a big deal out of it. He did go through a phase of telling everyone we met that I have a baby in my tummy though. I am talking to him more about it now we're in the final weeks, and he is enjoying helping me get ready

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