Childcare arrangements for a homebirth?

[KirjavaTheCorpse]

I'm (hopefully) having a home birth, I'm due in two weeks.

I had the home visit from the midwife today to discuss the home birth, and she asked if I'd made plans for 3yo DS yet, if I go into labour during the day when he's awake.

I explained that when I go into labour, our plan is to tell my brother to be on stand-by in case I need to be transferred, so he could be here within minutes to look after him while me and DP go to the hospital, but the plan was for DS to stay with us while I labour if all progresses normally.

She didn't seem to think this was a good idea? And said it would probably be best if he was elsewhere during the labour so he didn't distract me or DP, or the midwives. She suggested that we get someone to babysit him somewhere.

Is this typical? I always got the impression that children were welcome at homebirths. DP's capable of multitasking... I won't need him holding my hand the whole time. And I kind of thought it would be nice for DS to be there when his little sister is born.

I've had 2 homebirths and the other DC were asleep in the house at the time. First time DD1 was only 18 months and slept through, we had no childcare in place or her (not through choice) second time DD1 was 4, DD2 was 2 1/2 both slept through and woke o a new sister. To me your arrangements sound fine.

i know a few people who've had their kids at homebirths and had v. positive experiences.
but i also know a couple whose children got quite upset and then had to be taken out by partners.

it's really hard to know how you're going to feel... would you be ok with your partner missing the birth because he had to take ds upstairs/out? or would you get your brother to come round and take him in that scenario?

i don't think it hurts to plan to have him there, jsut as long as you have someone on standby to take him if it turns out he isn't happy, or you don't want him there after all.

when I had my first HB my mum came and took DS1. when I had my second DS1 and DS2 were both upstairs asleep, but I do remember panicking a bit when I heard DS2 getting up wanting milk! lol

good luck with it :)

Also 38w.

I'm not planning on having DC in the room for my hb, no (5.4 and 2.6). I'm hoping they will be asleep in their own beds but we have a raft of people to entertain them if it's daytime.

Partly I don't want them to distract me; partly they can react unpredictably to things even when they go well and I wouldn't want to worry them.

From a child's perspective it's useful to have someone there who can be with the child where ever they want to be. So you sort of need someone who can take the child out of the room if the child wants to go but if the child wants to stay it needs to be someone you feel comfortable with. If you feel comfortable with your DP leaving you with just the midwives then that seams fine to me.

I went to my first birth when I was 2.5. I don't really remember that one but I do remember the next one where I was nine. I went to several antenatal class and watch several video so knew what to expect. I also knew I could ask one of the grown ups to take me out if I wanted to leave. I didn't leave and it was lovely to see my brother being born. I got to tell my mum the sex :)

Im still convincing my dp about hb.

Its the only hope I have of dp witnessing the birth. If I go to tbe mlu he will be with our 3dc.

If I have a hb hopefully the dc will be asleep. If not I would want dp to take the dc out. Im not fussed about dp being with me. Im more worried about going into hospital then giving birth!

I had a DF on standby, but DD1 (then 3) slept through the whole thing and walked in when DD2 was 3 minutes old.

I actually heard her get up pretty much as I gave the final push and remember thinking, "Please go to the loo like you always do before coming in here".

I don't think she noticed me delivering the placenta. She says all she noticed was a stepping over the roll of PVC we had on the floor and meeting her sister.