heads a mess and nowhere to turn

[Hannahwillo88]

well here goes i am 28+4 wks with 3rd dc and so far this pregnancy hasnt been easy (previous two were fab no sickness, problems, lovely births) been in hospital twice with bad pains and had a bad bleed. i threw up till 20 wks n still feel sick from time to time and i have pains daily. at 20 weeks i was told i have a lobed placenta which has played on my mind since. my midwife isnt very supportive or friendly and i have tried to talk to her regarding my worries over the placenta but she didnt not answer my questions and seem to act as if i was being an inconvenience. i had planned a homebirth but now have to have a hopsital birth due to being high risk with my placenta. i do not sleep due to stressing and worrying over what can go wrong after baby has been delivered or possibly before and i am feeling so down and depressed and feel so guilty for putting this but i want to forget this pregnancy i dont want to be pregnant anymore. this breaks my heart. i have been to seen my gp and told him everything and told him i feel as if i will end up with full blown depression or it will trigger my eating disorder and i am having the feelings i had then returning.

i am now thinking of requesting a c section due to the risks of having a vb. i feel like i am lost and all over the place and so down i dont know what to do i dnt feel like i can go on for another 12 weeks like this as its just going to get worse. i feel like my husband wont understand as men usually dont.
i dnt know what to do

sorry for going on so much

Sorry you're having such a hard time

Was the gp helpful? If not can you see a different one? Hopefully they can help with the feelings of depression.

Can you ring the hospital and ask to speak to the supervisor of midwives? Explain that you are having such a difficult time and would like to speak to someone about your pregnancy and birth options - hopefully you can then speak to someone who is understanding.

Is your DH supportive? Do you have any help with the other dc? I would try to talk to your husband so he can support you.

Sorry I don't have much experience but I hope you get some support and feel better soon. Take care of yourself xx

he was helpful yes and explained more than the midwife has which i told him should be her job he said my feelings regarding the eating disorder is down to control and feeling like i am not in control of the situation. I am seeing a consultant in 2 wks time which i requested because of the lack of support from my midwife and i am hoping to get answers and support and talk to him regarding my birth options.

my husband can be supportive but hes ones of these people who say 'oh it will be ok dnt worry' and leaves it at that and hes said oh its our last one its ok and will be forgotten when hes here like hes not thinking about what could go wrong or what i will have to go through. in regards to help with my other two no i do everything i dont see much of my family apart from my mum so i do everything.

thankyou for replying i just feel like i have nowhere to turn and i dont know what to do xx

It seems you are doing the right things and speaking to the right people.

I would suggest writing down how you feel, but don't forget to include some positives.

Most importantly, write a list of questions and concerns to ask consconsultant and go through that list with dh. Include everything and don't be afraid to ask the stupid questions as they are usually the ones that make us worry.