5 Weeks Pregnant and Very Anxious

[GretchenandKitty]

I recently found out that I am pregnant - will be 41 next month. I have been on a roller coaster since last Friday - from anxiety to depression. I have read so many threads on mumsnet and have seen so many of my fears reflected in them. I was pregnant one other time at 31, but that pregnancy ended with a blighted ovum. I have been having lower back cramps and lower abdominal cramps - really no other symptoms. I met with my OBGYN last Friday and she scheduled an ultrasound for 6 weeks. I am sure that a baby would only increase the love in our lives, but I (selfishly) like the "stork" idea rather than 9 months of this! Any support/encouragement/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Hi Gretchen. Just on my way to bed when I spotted your post and didn't want to leave it unanswered. I suffered a series of MCs and remember well how intensely worrying it was to get a positive test, being desperate for everything to go well but being unable to enjoy the experience. I have two DCs and even those pregnancies were always shadowed by my worries.
I'm glad you have an understanding OBGYN and that you will be able to have an early scan. All I can suggest is taking each day as it comes and trying not to get too bogged down in the "what ifs" - but I know that that is a very hard thing to do.
Good luck.

Mrs. Cakes,
Thank you so much for the reply. I am sorry for your losses, as well. Thank you for the encouragement. I will try my best to relax - seeing a therapist for relaxation techniques. Thanks again - I will keep you posted.

I'll watch out for your posts and I'll cross my fingers and toes for you.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, it must be an emotional time for you full of excitment and worry. Seeing a therapist sounds like a great idea and having that early scan should help too. Just remember with each day that passes that little life is getting stronger and once you've had a grew scans, midwife appointments and got your therapy sorted you'll be able to enjoy it more than worry. Best of luck, I hope all goes really well.

Thank you Mogz! I am looking forward to the time when I can focus on the positive and be happy.

You'll get there, and in the mean time you can sound off at us lot if you need to

You guys are absolutely wonderful! I am crying as I write this. You have no idea how much this mean to me. I will absolutely share, as needed. Thank you!

Glad to help, it is amazing the amount of support, advice, distraction and friendship that can be found online. This place has certainly helped me through a tough pregnancy and I've learnt so much so it's really nice to be able to pay it back.
For now though I had best try and get some sleep. It's almost 5am here and I've a long day of housework and apple crumble making to look forward to!

I agree, this place has been a godsend through a tough pregnancy. Now at 32+4 and time has really flown, look after yourself and don't feel too bad if you are a paranoid knicker checker like I was for the first few months! The first 12 weeks are so nerve wracking though, but your midwife sounds pretty switched on and I'm sure you will get lots of real life support as well as all you need from mumsnet!

Overall I've not enjoyed 'pregnancy' as such due to plenty of health probs, but there are some truly wonderful moments. The first little flutters, where you wonder to the definite kicks you get later, everyone is largely lovely to you, strangers smiling at your growing bump and the first time you DP has a little chat to your belly, to buying the first cute little outfit! If you have a hard time , try to focus on the good parts and if you need to vent post on here!

Good luck with everything and I hope you feel a bit less anxious and better in general soon.

Thank you everythinghippie29. I have really felt like I was on an island for the last several days. Movies show the mother being over the moon at pregnancy - the way I assume I am supposed to feel. I am just not there yet. I am trying!!

Hi Gretchenandkitty, I can't offer much advice unfortunately as I am not very knowledgeable, this is my 1st pregnancy, but i can offer an ear to listen. Also as.this is my 1st I have had loads of fears and coming on here has really helped me cope. Congratulations on the pregnancy and know. Everyone is here for you.

The first weeks can be an incredibly anxious time, even for ladies who aren't usually prone to anxiety! Just feel the way you're feeling - you don't need to live up to a set of cultural expectations. Remember every pregnancy is different and symptoms don't happen to everyone.

I made it through today. I held together pretty well, until my husband called and said that he had to go out of town next week for work. :( The wind left my body. Wish that he could be here with me, but we have to keep our jobs. When I told my mom, she said that she would come stay with me for the week - ha! So cute, but I would hate to need a baby-sitter at 40 years old. Whew, next week will be tough. Next OBGYN visit is October 29. Next visit with therapist is October 22.

I'm 5 weeks tomorrow and although I've had a healthy pregnancy previously I am full of worry and stress this time round.
I'm on the woo side and am finding trying to do visualizations/relaxations helpful. I'm using Injoy downloads and InJoy EFT and they seam to help. I'd attend their class if I was still in the country.

Oh and I think it's lovely that your mum has offered to come and stay. It's perfectly fine to accept help when you are pregnant (if you think it will help).

I know all to well how u are feelling Hun, I had 2 his with Ivf an it worked second time. I basically stayed in bed for 3 months feeling like glass, frightened of moving, thinking the worst, I was having private scans at 130.00 a pop. Like a mad woman, driving everybody mad. But as soon as you get that scan (which U will too) the fear goes an u start looking forward an enjoying.
Keep being so positive, the therapy is a great idea
X

Your DM sounds lovely - and it's nice to know you can lean a little on her if you need too.
Have you made plans for the weekend? Something nice and distracting?

I made it through another day at school. I teach 7th grade. Two fairly large discipline problems (unusual), but otherwise ok. I had a meltdown on my way home after work. I just wanted to scream, "WHY??" I just want to feel happy and excited, but anxiety and depression keeps creeping in.

I spoke to my doctor today and he recommended raising my prescription of Zoloft to 100mg. He assured me that it was COMPLETELY fine. He is a very well-known doctor and serves as head of OBGYN at a local university. So, I will start that tomorrow. My husband has been a rock for me. My parents have been the best. I have so much support. I know I should be thankful for so much.

We conceived naturally with only one act of unprotected sex on the same night that we had a miscarriage 10 years ago. (I remember the date, because it was my sister's wedding.) I know there are so many who try for years and must resort to other options. I will be 41 next month and DH turned 42 in June. I think the odds of that are amazing.

Sorry to ramble, just needed to get my head wrapped around these thoughts tonight.

Thank you so much for you support. I cannot wait to check back with you each evening.

Sounds like you are coping brilliantly, especially when you have stressful job as well as pregnancy to contend with.

I have been known to scream in the car - one of the few places where these is nobody to hear and think I'm losing the plot. I find a good loud scream very stress-relieving .

I spotted this news article today and thought of you. You are going to be one of many, many fantastic mothers over 40yo.

Thank you so much for sharing this article!
"In 2012 almost half (49%) of the 729,674 live births were to women aged 30 or more, and 65% of fathers were in the same age category, excluding births where only the mother was registered."

WOW! I would have never thought it!

Maybe screaming in the car IS ok . . .it is also the only place that I belt out lyrics to every song on the radio! I would be so embarrassed to sing in public (I cannot carry a tune!).

Good luck with the Zoloft! My aunt's had 2 babies over 40 and they are gorgeous and bright.

Congratulations!

Try to relax, there are many many older mums out there, and I'm one of them. I had dd (7 months) at 40, and she was full term, a good size, completely healthy and my pregnancy was easy. I hope things go as smoothly for you.

Congratulations on your pregnancy GretchenandKitty!
I completely understand how you feel. I'm also 5 weeks pregnant. It is an IVF pregnancy (5th round) and I've had two miscarriages before. I'm panicking that this one will not work either... I have zero pregnancy symptoms (with previous pregnancies I had big sore boobs) and just can't stop worrying.
But still - sending positive thoughts your way!

Glad to see you're taking each day as it comes not too long to wait until your obgyn appointment now.

Hey Chocolatemolehill! Congratulations to you! :)

Yesterday I started having cramps, dull lower back pain and light spotting. Those have lasted through today, as well. I have not had any pregnancy symptoms - nothing, zero. I just cannot stop worrying.

I went to the therapist again yesterday and left feeling much better. She told me to set goals and limit my time to worry for certain amounts of time each day. She also encouraged morning walks since mornings are worst for me. My husband and I did walk this morning and I felt good. The temps were cool and the sunrise was beautiful!

I wish I knew what the cramps, spotting, etc were. I do not have another OBGYN appointment until Oct. 29. If the spotting turns heavier, I will contact my doctor. Until then, wait it is.

I hope all of you have a wonderful and beautiful weekend. Although we have never met, I appreciate your friendship.

Try not to freak out about the spotting and cramps, a quick search on here will show you just how common it s, especially at around your gestation. Just take it easy, keep taking those gentle walks (sounds like a lovely way to be calm and spend time with your husband). Really glad to hear your therapy appointment left you feeling good, hang on to that and you'll be just fine.