Is anyone else planning on sharing parental leave with dp/h?

[qumquat]

I haven't met or come across anyone else who is doing this and I'd love to find some others. I'm really surprised and quite upset (from a more political, equality of the sexes perspective) it's not more popular. I can only see upsides myself but everyone looks at me like I'm a lunatic when I mention it, or says things like 'sh, dont tell my dh that's possible' (which makes my blood boil) Surely wanting dp to have the chance to be a full time dad for a couple of months isn't that mad? And when I go back to work I think I'll find it so much easier leaving dc with dp for the first couple of months and not having to deal with the double whammy of work and childcare at the same time. Is anyone else out there planning the same? Not looking for a political discussion, just would love to know I'm not alone!

I'm not in the UK (in NZ) and this is more common as it's been around a little longer, although it's a slow change and not the norm. DH and I did this with DS, I went back to work when DS was 7 months and DH took a further 4 months off. It was great - DH really enjoyed the time he had at home, and it was good for me being back at work for a few months not having to stress about DS being in nursery - it also made it much easier to drop to part time once DH went back to work as by then I'd found my feet in the workplace again. It's still not the norm though by any means, and we did get a lot of 'that never occurred to me' comments from people.

Am a SAHM again and it's not an option this time around as DH changed jobs recently so I'm taking the full year, but the fact he did it last time really helps his understanding of my current situation and the highs and lows of being home with children , and it really did set the scene for an equal relationship in terms of chores etc

I have always earned more than my DH, although what he does now is worth so much more. He is the SAHD. When DC2 turns up (due in 6 weeks) we'll both be home for 6 months (my employer's Maternity pay is generous for that period), then he'll be full-time care for our toddler and baby. It was Soooo much easier for me going back to work last time leaving DD with her dad rather than childcare. With 2 we couldn't afford to pay childcare anyway.
The split in our family is very uneven, which is to say I'm hopeless and useless! it just doesn't go according to gender stereotype. I openly admit I could not do what DH does, but I'm sure that he would be able to do mine if he'd had the training and experience I have. The DC's will have a much better experience with their Dad.

Conversations I've had reveal that many people still assume that a mother either wants to or should give up work to look after the kids. When I say that DH does it the most positive comments are "well, of course you can these days", which I feel fails to acknowledge that it can be the best option (and not just where finances rule the decision).

We're not sharing ML as I am only taking off long enough to b/f for the recommended minimum of 6 mths plus a little extra while weaning. I don't want to have to express at work so when I go back unfortunately the little one will be on formula alongside solids. DH is taking off three weeks when I go back so the baby doesn't get plunged straight into nursery though. For us it is purely about the feeding issue and for me I'd rather just take the necessary time and do it myself in person. If we could afford to take the whole year off would probably consider sharing it.

When I go back, I will be back on my higher salary as before and I don't think there will have been any particular adverse effect on my career. Among colleagues, I have found that they only start to have career problems when they have a second baby as the cost of childcare for two is so high that many women I know give up work. Personally I would hate to do this for personal as well as financial reasons so we are not planning to have two little ones at once.

It's so great to hear everyone's stories and situations. It really does make me feel good to know we're not alone. I've read some reviews of 'shattered' it definitely looks like a worthwhile read.

I wish , wish, wish this had been about when Ds (dc1) was born. I massively out-earned DH and we realy struggled for the 2nd 6 months of unpaid leave (as it was then). It would have made so much sense .