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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable to hate strangers asking when I'm due?

21 replies

firstimer30s · 10/10/2013 21:51

I was in a lift the other day when a weird old man asked me how far along I was, when the baby was due etc.
Maybe he was being nice but I'm a fairly sensitive, mildly angry-all-the-time-pregnant-bag-of-hormones and I thought it was pretty bloody nosy.

OP posts:

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SirChenjin · 10/10/2013 21:53

I think a)he was being nice and b)you're full of hormones.

In what way was he 'weird'?

FraggleRock77 · 10/10/2013 22:02

We are just back from holiday in the USA and at 28 Wks i attracted a lot if attention. I divulged a lot when people asked. As for old people, i work with people over 65 and i feel strongly about loneliness being a huge issue. Maybe he was just trying to be nice. Most old people don't talk to a single person from day to day. Sorry slight rant about older people. Everyone deserves a hug a day.
Anyway, everyone is different about information they want to share

LateBear · 10/10/2013 22:07

I'm not enjoying that question either, and also people asking if you know what you're having and what the name is going to be! I'm sure they mean well but I find it intrusive, so I usually lie and say 'no I don't know, no names yet'
However I used to ask those questions before I was pregnant, but usually just to be polite, not realizing how potentially annoying it was! I'm sure some people love being asked but I don't!

tgamble13 · 10/10/2013 22:08

know how u feel firsttimer! some people just have to speak to piss me off. ladies i dont think she was targeting older people it was an example used

LateBear · 10/10/2013 22:09

I try and be polite though :)

wickedwitchNE · 10/10/2013 22:18

I don't find it rude, just a bit awkward - do I stand and chat afterwards or give and answer and then walk off? How much info are they after? I find chatting to strangers v awkward anyway to be fair let alone about something personal.

At least the people asking are always nice - never get negative comments really just well-meaning ones.

gwenniebee · 10/10/2013 22:26

In the nicest possible way, yabu :) People are just trying to be friendly.

How far along are you?

NoIHaventHadTheBabyYet · 10/10/2013 22:32

Asking if you have had the baby, NO NO NO I AM HUGE AND I HAVE NO BABY . . . SO NO I HAVEN'T.

Lj8893 · 10/10/2013 23:42

Yeah it's people asking if I have had the baby yet that annoys me!

Me and my dp were in the pub the other evening, clearly without a baby, and 37 weeks I am pretty huge.
A guy I vaguely know came over "omg LJ have you had your baby yet?"

Yeah, course I have, I've just eaten alot of cakes and left the baby at home on her own while me and dp sit here enjoying a social evening.

terilou87 · 11/10/2013 10:14

I hate when people start asking questions like when r u due followed by god your huge. There is one women who asks the same questions every day, I mean it wouldn't be so bad but y ask if your not taking any flippin notice aarrgghh. I don't mind just the polite questions its the arrogant ones that bug me

katebakes · 11/10/2013 11:45

Dear OP,

Today I hate people...all people. So I know how you feel! (Me hormonal?!?..never hahaha)

I'm currently living with my parents as DH is American and still in the USA with his family...we married after we graduated from university this year and haven't quite got the logistics worked out, but he's coming here to visit and then returning to the US to start working.

My grandmother lives alone and is very excited about the baby and always asks my mother how the baby is BUT refers to him as my mother's not mine. I'm 25, not 15! I'm married. It really, really, really upsets me and my mother just says I'm touchy.

I get well meaning comments which are sweet but I'm a bit sick of the 'oh you'll be overdue' line I've heard twenty eight times. I also think some people are just weirdos and I'm very protective of my bump! The creeeeeeepiest man that came to fix the TV asked if his head was engaged. He literally was so odd I felt physically sick at him even talking to me, but he was just that, a weirdo. Not everyone is and some people do like a chat - I've found it can be really helpful speaking to mums with newborns. They know what to say and usually they're going to be pretty normal and nice.

Some older people I've found have no boundaries so I'm just pleasant, polite and brief as I'd feel bad otherwise. I think some genuinely odd people think they can engage you in conversation as the bump is a talking point - I don't fall for it!

flipchart · 11/10/2013 11:49

Bloody hell grump!

A little bit of social chatting makes the world a little bit more pleasent.

He found something nice to chat about I really don't get your problem.

Original poster

firstimer30s · 11/10/2013 17:15

Thanks for the feedback. I have nothing against old people at all and am very aware of loneliness etc and generally very sweet to them.

I think I just found it odd as it was a lift and therefore small space. Also having a stranger ask my due date is something I'm not really used to - I wouldn't ask a stranger when their birthday was or how old they were....

Can't believe people ask you if you've had the baby yet! What's wrong with them?!

OP posts:

SirChenjin · 11/10/2013 18:07

Honestly - he was just making conversation. My old mum would have done exactly the same, she loved talking to people and passing the time of day with them. I sometimes think we've forgotten how to just be friendly

flipchart · 11/10/2013 18:13

Sure you wouldn't go up to someone and ask their birthday but if you are visible pregnant it is an exciting time.
A lot of people like the thought of babies and like small talk so it seems an obvious question to ask.

I've never known such a load of moody grumps until I came on MN. Every topic seems taboo!
I liked people chatting about my pregnancy and later looking in the pram and saying something nice. It just made the day that little brighter having a nice bit of banter with a stranger.

polkadotsrock · 11/10/2013 18:30

I like it too, not least because I'm too tired to think of anything else to talk about so it's easy!

purple84 · 11/10/2013 21:24

I am 38 wks pregnant, this is my 6th pregnancy and I have no DC, I feel very awkward around pregnant women even now, so when I wasn't pregnant and pregnant women came into my work, I would try to put on a brave face and be polite asking them what I thought was nice questions about their pregnancies, such as "How far along are you?" etc.
I found this very hard to do with a smile on my face, maybe we as pregnant women now should just grin and bear it to answer these questions just like I did to ask them. As we never know what people have actually been through.

Andanotherthing123 · 12/10/2013 00:00

Good point purple. I honestly appreciate the effort people go to to be interested in my bump and to ask when it's due. This bit is the nice bit btw - once baby gets here, you'll get strangers passing comment on your baby which is even more challenging. DC2 has autism and I've been tutted at by a small minority of people when they feel his behaviour in public is irksome to them. I'm so pleased when someone takes the time to tell me what a lovely boy he is and ask his name etc. chatting to people about stuff and taking an interest is good - coping with judgemental derision is bad. Enjoy the good bits!

Joseve · 24/07/2018 11:35

I totally get this...I’m very hormonal and anxious in this pregnancy and feel detached from most people especially strangers. So whilst it’s nice they take an interest, I find the questions so inane, like when are you due, gender, name etc - I understand that’s the basic stuff that they feel they can only ask without being intrusive...but actually I find it repetitive and boring when asked a lot and actually it would be a breath of fresh air if someone asked ‘and how are you feeling about it all?’ ‘Are you scared or excited’? Because that’s another I hate...’you must be excited’...we, no you don’t know the hell ive been through worrying every single day.

Grumpos · 24/07/2018 18:05

It is really annoying after the 100th time and the “OMG you’re huge!” Statements are particularly rage inducing....however there seems to be something really special about pregnancy and babies and people just love to interact with you I’ve found.
People are much friendly and nicer to me now I have a massive bump, I’m definitely going to miss how much people smile at me and help me out, the questions are annoying but actually it is kind of special to be very visibly pregnant as it’s not something you do many times in your life (well some do )
I’m switching off from the comments and just enjoying the positive vibes!

Bibijayne · 24/07/2018 18:54

I find my bump elicits the same reactions and friendliness as our dog did when she was a puppy. People love to talk to you. It can get annoying. Some people overstep the mark. But mostly it's quite sweet.

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