pregnant after missed m/c....feeling of dread and doom...how can I cope with the worry?

[weewilliewinkie]

I'm only 6 weeks....actually been feeling ok until this morning - I just have this gut feeling that all is not well with this pregnancy. Feeling kind of shaky and sick, but not in a morning sickness kind of way, just in a nervous anxious kind of way.

I have an early scan booked for a week on Tuesday, which seems like a lifetime away at the moment. And I am dreading it anyway, don't know how I'll manage to even look at the screen for fear of what I might see..

Does anyone have any positive stories for me? How do you cope with pg after m/c? Does everyone who's been through this have wobbly moments like this?

I agree Shhhh this is an awe-inspiring thread, as well as amazingly kind. I feel like I've really been given wisdom by all you extraordinary mothers.

as I'm going through the terrifying pre-first scan phase right now, I really want to thank everyone. I'm drawing a lot of peace and comfort from the generous thoughts.

Hi there, I was an absolute ball of nerves too! I had a dd, then 3 m/c's, one missed and got to 16 weeks. I then got DD2. Had an early scan at 7 ,9 and 12 weeks and she's sound asleep in bed right now!
Each pregnancy is different and the chances of success far outweigh the chances if m/c. The l regan book is brill! have alook for some confidence.
I remember thinking, this baby deserves me to think of it as a success and there is no room for negative thoughts. I got there Good luck xxxx

I had my second miscarriage in April of last year at 17 weeks. I fell pregnant again really quickly my DS was born 7 weeks ago.
The pregnancy was hell, but i got there in the end.
What does Lesley regan say about the stastical chances of miscarriages when the fetus stops growing after 8 weeks. I was never given a reason for the miscarriage, but during my last pregnancy i always felt that the consultant was as relieved as I was to hear the heartbeat.

This is my second pregnancy, 1st ended in missed m/c at about 12 weeks, they think that it never got past 6 weeks. This time I have had early scan (they reckon it was 6 wks & 3 days) and saw heartbeat, so am trying to be positive about what everyone is saying about seeing early heartbeat being a good sign. Have days of 'impending doom' where I'm convinced it's just stopped because my symptoms all just stopped last time, and on days like today where I'm not feeling sick and my boobs aren't sore I can be a bit of a panic merchant. Is it right that it's just hormone levels, and some days you can be fine?

Hope it goes ok today www - please let us know.
I had an off day yesterday, when everything was doom and gloom, but i seem to have woken up in a brighter mood today. It is great hearing all these positive stories - basically i think we have to accept that there are going to be good days and bads days - but we will get through it.

I'm 25 weeks - and still scared that some thing has happened, is that normal?
We had such a complicated early pregnancy, I was treated like a complete fool by the hospital, that it has made me very worried about labour time, I'm so scared of being shipped off and not having any choice over my body like before, scary.

WWW i hope your scan went really well today - its so scary, then you see the little bean on the screen - made my DH cry he he he x

I hope it goes well today weewilliewinkie.

hi ladies,
well, I had my scan - everything was perfect. I saw little beanie's heartbeat! It was an internal scan - not the nicest way to do it but I didn't care.

The doc said I'm actually 6+6 weeks - 4 days further on than I thought. How does that work - I though it went from the first day of your last af? Does it mean I ov'd earlier, or the egg implanted earlier than I thought? Who cares, I'm just so relieved that at the moment, all is well. Must be a good sign if we can see the heartbeat at this early stage, right?

Thanks for all your good wishes.

Congratulations WWW. It's a very good sign to see the heartbeat - risk of miscarriage goes right down. It sounds like you ovulated earlier than you thought.

great news WWW! I'm really delighted

I've now got a scan date (start of week 7) next Tuesday morning. generally trying to be relaxed - I loved that tip from Quacks that this baby deserves to have me think of him/her as a success. All the same am pretty nervous.

MNing from work is a bad sign for me! need to get on with some earning here!

but hope to hear more uplifting thoughts soon XXXXXX

excellent news. So pleased it went well for you.
Dating it from the last period gives a good idea but it works on the assumption that you ovulated 14 days after and you must have ovulated a bit earlier.
What's your due date?

well I had thought my due date was feb 23rd, but now it looks like feb 19th....I had been charting and fertility freind said I ov'd on day 14, but originally had suggested day 11 then changed it to later. I had a feeling I had ov'd earlier. Doesn't matter either way, the end result's the main thing!

How is everyone else today...sending positive vibes out there....

brill news www.!! Glad all went well with the scan. I thought you may have needed an internal scan, not the best but you get such clearer results.
BTW our scan last wednesday was an external and ended up with an internal which allowed us to see baby shhh even clearer!!
Worth the money for the early scan imo.

Fingers crossed for us.

so pleased for you www try and relax a bit now and enjoy being pregnant.

WWW that panicky feeling unfortunately never leaves. I had 2 early mcs then had my ds and spent whole time worrying about bleeding which I actually did with him but never lost him. Then I had a missed mc which IME was worse than the early mcs as I thought all was well. I then went on to have a DD who I had a early scan with but nothing then until 20wks and it killed me. Constantly panicking about if she was ok etc. I am currently 12wks pg again and even though I have had 2 scans at 7 wks and 11wks I still panic that the baby has died etc. It is completely normal especially if you have had a pregnancy tainted by loss.

So glad to hear it www.
That's a bit of an extra bonus that you have jumped forward by a few days - that's 4 days closer to 12 weeks.

I know rubles - that cheered me up! So I'm 7 weeks today. Feeling ok today. I have got to learn to think positively about this baby - I'm just scared that if I am too positive it will all go wrong again. Then I keep thinking, well, it's out of my hands - what will be will be. I'm just taking each day as it comes...there' ll be ups and downs...but the support on MN is fab and really helps. Thanks all.

Great news WWW - i am 10 weeks now. Got the date for my official scan, which isn't till i am 12 +6, i am a bit annoyed as the doctor obviously didn't mention anything about my previous missed miscarriage, but at least i am getting a scan. I went private for my early scan - £120, but definately worth the money.
This heat is a killer! I'm off to bed!

great news bobbynog! I'm waiting for my first scan next Tuesday (at 8 weeks one day by my calculations...) trying not to dwell on it too much (although obviously failing dismally) it will be a scary moment going in for a scan again - as it was a missed mc we only found out during the scan... taking lots of strength from the MN support.