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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

am i harming baby

21 replies

kelly21 · 08/10/2013 07:35

i am going through a lot my anxiety is really bad and i cant get it under control also theres not a day goes by were i dont cry i feel so guilty incase i am stressing my baby out i am 25 weeks

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SPBisResisting · 08/10/2013 07:41

I doubt it! But you are harming yourself by feeling so anxious for such prolonged periods. Please talk to your midwife and be as open as you can. This is really common and can be managed - you should be able to start feeling better.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

SPBisResisting · 08/10/2013 07:42

Sorry ive just spotted that you say you are going through a lot. Can you get advice, are these problems that ca be resolved?

Julietee · 08/10/2013 07:47

You're not hurting your baby. I have anxiety disorders and they've got really bad at times during pregnancy - I just had a fine 20 week scan!

I know it's hard, but try not to worry about worrying. And do tell your GP or midwife how you're feeling - they can refer you on to CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy).

hazchem · 08/10/2013 07:49

SP's idea about talking to the midwife is a good one. They might even be able to refer you for some specialist help.

Do you have family and friends that you can talk to about the problems to help ease your mind? You can always ask for help on MN if you feel comfortable.

Remember to breathe. Just reminding yourself to take a couple of deep breaths can really help calm your mind and body.

SPBisResisting · 08/10/2013 07:52

You're obviously a good mum, worrying about the effects on your baby. But please consider that you matter just as much. Your baby is being well looked after - permanent cuddle and food on tap. You're the onr who is struggling. Do you have a partner?

Original poster

kelly21 · 08/10/2013 11:34

hi thankyou everyone i am just so worried no i dont have a partner hes the one who has caused this i found out about his drug habbit which he hid very well he also stole money off me i had to ring the police who told me he was lieing about his age and adviced me to stay away from him hes broken me i just feel our whole repationship was a lie and a joke to him

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Julietee · 08/10/2013 11:36

Kelly, what anxiety needs is distraction. Walks, something active, a great film.
I've found that singing along to a CD really helps because it regulates your breathing - often with anxiety you're in a mild state of hyperventilation without realising it which makes all the symptoms worse.

SPBisResisting · 08/10/2013 17:23

How long ago was this? You're doing brilliantly

Original poster

kelly21 · 08/10/2013 18:07

thankyou it happend last week so all still raw i just want to be with someone all the time like my mum or sister and they both work its exhausting feeling like this

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MissRatty · 08/10/2013 21:37

I think you should speak to someone you trust, like mum or sister, and get an appointment with your GP or midwife to talk to them too. It is natural to feel anxious, especially after what you have been through, and your hormones won't make it easier. Try for now to make sure you are distracting yourself, try a walk and your favourite film or comedy, even games or a crossword, get a good rest, eat and drink plenty and call your surgery in the morning. X

VeraLockski · 08/10/2013 21:58

Just wanted to say I really feel for you. You are doing so well but it must be really tough. I agree with all of the above about seeing you gp and also speaking to family.

And it sounds like you really must keep away from him.

You and baby can have wonderful life together without having anything to do with him.

adaloveslace · 09/10/2013 03:38

You're not harming your baby, kelly21. Someone close to me just went through horrific trauma during her pregnancy and her baby (now 4 months) is the sweetest, more even-tempered and smiley little thing ever. Absolutely no evidence that she was in any way affected by what her mum went through for the entire nine months.

It's okay to ask for help. Recognising that you are vulnerable is a sign of strength, and you've done that. You will get through this. Do go and see your GP or your midwife. x

Wishfulmakeupping · 09/10/2013 03:44

You're not harming the baby they are protected but for you're own health you need to be able to calm yourself after this situation.
Can you talk openly to your GP or MW I'd go back and speak to them.
Hope things get better

Original poster

kelly21 · 09/10/2013 08:07

my gp is hopeless because he was violent social services are wanting to talk to me this is making ny anxiety worse because you read threads about social services twisting things and taking peoples children thats why am scared to admit how i feel

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hazchem · 09/10/2013 08:28

It's a really tough balance but on the whole social services are concerned with both your and your babies well being and welfare.

Two other places you could think about approaching for advice is your local CAB and the other is Womens Aid 0808 2000 247. Here they discuss a call about someone worried that their child would be taken away and how they helped the women.

Sammi1986 · 09/10/2013 08:30

Hey Kelly, I'm not practicing at the moment but I'm a qualified social worker.
The basic gist of it is, the want to know your baby is going to be safe and they want to know you are going to be safe enough and knowledgable to provide that. They don't have an awful lot of money to spend and placing kids into care is expensive. They try like hell to keep kids and parents together, s

Sammi1986 · 09/10/2013 08:32

Sorry! Sometimes that means monitoring visits and parenting classes, but they won't take your lil one anywhere unless they think s/he's at risk.
Please try not to panic sweetie. Co-operate with them and they may even help with the anxiety.

Hope you're ok :)

Original poster

kelly21 · 09/10/2013 08:53

hi thankyou sammi i know for a fact i wont take him back i already have a 3 year old i love her to bits shes my main priority i like to think i look after her very well but i still cant help worrying am sure they will help me i have no idea when they will get intouch so just nervously waiting i have made an appointment with a different gp hope they can give me a bit of information on couselling or something really want to avoid medication

OP posts:

Julietee · 09/10/2013 09:33

Kelly, just wanted to say that anxiety is one of the main symptoms of pre-natal depression, but you can have it on its own too. So it's incredibly normal in pregnancy, and no social worker or GP is going to judge you for that.

hazchem · 10/10/2013 00:04

Kelly well done for making the appointment. I really mean it. I know i've had times when actually asking for help seams like an impossible task so it's a good and brave step your taking. It can be useful to write down questions or concerns before you go into the GP. So if you feel flustered or unsure you can look at your notes. You could include things like "can you help me to access counselling", or "what services are there for women suffering anxiety during pregnancy".
Good luck.

hazchem · 15/10/2013 04:51

Kelly just checking in to see how you are doing.

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