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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Thinking of taking ds to 20wk scan

23 replies

LadyT · 29/06/2006 10:10

I have my 20wk scan in a few weeks, and I was wondering whether to take my 4.5yo ds with us. He knows that there is a baby coming, but I don't think that he's twigged that it is in mummy's tummy! I thought it might be nice for him to share the experience, but I wasn't sure how the staff would be. He is well behaved, and dh will be there to. Anyone else taking children with them?

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lucykate · 29/06/2006 10:11

we took dd to ours, she loved it. staff didn't mind at all. she just sat on dh's knee and watched. we found out it was a boy then so it was nice that she was able to share that news with us

hoxtonchick · 29/06/2006 10:12

i took ds to almost all my scans when pg with dd (i have diabetes so have loads of extra growth scans). he was 3-and-a-half when she was born, so younger than your ds. actually, he didn't come to the 20 week one, dp did instead. the sonographers were all very nice & quite used to having younger siblings around. they used to point out bits of baby to him!

Piffle · 29/06/2006 10:13

The only thing I would say is...
I took ds 8 to my second scan and something irregular showed up in the heart and organ check.
They were quite concerned and ds was very frightened.
But your ds is younger so you might be able to sort it . And anyway I am sure your baby is 100% fine!

Beauregard · 29/06/2006 10:13

I took dd1(4) with me when pregnant with dd2,she kept standing in front of the tv so i couldn't see and running about but luckily the staff were fab!
Dont let that put you off though ,that is just my dd!
I do think it is nice for the sibling to be involved.

LilacWine · 29/06/2006 10:14

we took DD to both scans. she was the same age as your DS. we found it really helped to be open with her about the pregnancy and her seeing her brother on the screen at the scans really helped. she also proudly showed everyone photos of the ultrasound. the staff at the hospital never said anything. she was a bit bored in the waiting room though, so i'd suggest taking a few toys and some snacks.

Mercy · 29/06/2006 10:14

I took dd to all but one of the scans (I had a lot them) and the staff were fine about it - so was dd, and she was a lot younger than your ds!

Kelly1978 · 29/06/2006 10:15

I've always taken older siblings, I liked them to be able to share in the experience. dd and ds1 were with us when we found out we were expecting twins and it was lovely being able to share the excitement.

CarolinaMoose · 29/06/2006 10:15

my local hosp doesn't let children into the scan room until they've done all the checks and know everything's ok.

I would ring and check with them before you go.

LilacWine · 29/06/2006 10:16

oh and i forgot to mention...
at the 21 week scan we found out we were having a boy and DD choose his name there and then! it was such a lovely thing for her to be the one who choose his name.

Original poster

LadyT · 29/06/2006 10:39

Thanks for that, I think I will take him. Some literature that the hopsital sent last time (Royal Surrey) suggested that they would prefer them not to be there, but didn't say that you couldn't! DS says he wants a brother, and is thinking of names now! No doubt it will be named after a Power Ranger. I did point out that girls can be Power Rangers too!

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mummydoc · 29/06/2006 10:49

I took DD to my 20 week scan , it was so sweet seeing her eyes like saucers staring at the screen, there is a lovely book called "mummys tummy house" about a little boy waitng for his baby brother to arrive and it refers to the screen as the hospitals tv, so we told dd that she would see the baby on tv ! We also found out the baby was dd2 and dd1 immediately decided to call her " pocahontas, cinderella princess" i only managed to persuade her against it by explaining it wouldn't fit on a name tape for school... ps my dd1 was 4.5 at time - hope you all have a really lovely time.

janinlondon · 29/06/2006 11:18

We don't allow children in to our scans. But then the point of the scan is to look for things that are wrong. I wouldn't like to have a child in the room if I had to tell someone something awful like any of the occasions when we find there is no heartbeat or a major defect. If its not an NHS scan they may have time to allow a child in after that's sorted out, though on the NHS there is a financially imposed time constraint. Sorry. Just a thought.

Original poster

LadyT · 29/06/2006 12:51

That was one thought that I had. I wasn't going to tell ds about the the baby until after the scan, but dh has been talking to him about it. I like to have a positive view on things, and not to worry about the 'what ifs' - but having seen and 'counselled' many friends that have had problems, I believe I would have a pragmatic approach to events - so would probably not break down immediately, leaving ds totally bewildered and distraught. But thanks for your thoughts - I will discuss with dh.

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skerriesmum · 29/06/2006 12:56

We're thinking of taking ds, 3, to my next scan. (I had an early one and all signs were good so the next one should be OK too.) I remember though being a little "weirded out" when ds kept looking at the probe rather than doing a nice little profile. It is like a skull looking at you which is a bit creepy! I'm sure ds wouldn't make that connection though...

bobsmum · 29/06/2006 13:08

We took ds (2.5 at the time) because dh wanted to be there too, so there was no-one to look after ds. He sat on dh's knee and was no bother. He was fine, no-one said anything to suggest we were doing the wrong thing and the sonographer was brilliant at showing him views of the scan that looked more like a baby than others IYSWIM.

We've also got the "House in Mummy's tummy" book - v good!

Seona1973 · 29/06/2006 13:10

We have taken dd (2 1/2) to my scans although I only had one at 10 and 14 weeks (the 14 week one was only because I thought I was 12 weeks when I was only 10 weeks at the previous scan) - we dont get a 20 week scan here . She was more interested in the posters on the wall!!

Normsnockers · 29/06/2006 13:15

Message withdrawn

Blu · 29/06/2006 13:27

Having had the experience of having had big questions raised at a 20 week scan, I would never have taken DS to a scan if I was having any more babies.The physical problem found - talipes - was apparantly straightforward, but we had to have an immediate meeting with the consultant explaining the 'soft markers' that were present, the possibility of v serious chromosomal problems - and decide whether to have amnio. I supose we could have deferred that and made an appointment to go back on another day, but once you know there is a question, waiting is agony. Also, I am a calm pragmatic person - I couldn't speak to anyone at all for the rest of that day - i could not possibly have re-assured a young child convincingly.

Sorry - I KNOW in general scans are as interesting and joyful as they should be, and are a great experience. But as JanInLondon says, they are a medical diagnostic tool, and you need to think whether it is appropriate to have children present.

But good luck anyway, and i wish you the best for your scan.

kayzed · 29/06/2006 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LucyJones · 29/06/2006 20:37

We had to take ds to all our scans. Don't know what we would have done if the hospital had said no children aloowed as we have no alternative childcare. Quite surprised that some hospitals manage to enforce this.

PanicPants · 29/06/2006 20:39

I wouldn't, as my friend has just had her 20week scan which showed major abnormalities which resulted in a traumatic termination.

I would take ds to any further scans if they were needed once I was sure there isn't going to be any unpleasantness.

pol26 · 29/06/2006 21:48

We had to take our DD and she will be 2 in sept as know one could have her. She sat on DP's knee and cried and found it all too strange and wanted to be with me.
It was stressful but then she is a lot littler than your boy so i'd take him- it can be an exciting experience for everyone then.

eidsvold · 29/06/2006 23:39

I had no choice and had to take dd2 with us. SHe was almost2 at the time. She was stunned to be able to see the baby ( here in Aus - you have your own wall mounted screen and can see everything the sonographer is seeing). We had some unsettling news and had to speak with others and she was fine.

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