I had a bleed and now I am paranoid (sorry in advance for the essay, it is more about getting things off my chest)

[PinkWitch803]

Up to this week (wk27) I have had a pretty smooth pregnancy with the usual set of bumps and bruises.

On Monday, without warning, I had a bleed. I can only describe it as a bubble that popped. I had no flow of blood, or any more fresh blood after that.

went to the assesement unit who checked everything was fine and admitted me to hospital for observation for 48 hours.

During that time I had no more bleeding, just spotting old blood left over from Monday (nice!).

I was discharged with instruction to take it steady and rest. I have also developed a man flu type cold which has floored me, and my DP is not letting me do anything, so I have no choice but to rest.

The thing is, idle minds and all that, I have started worrying about premature labour, the risks to my baby, how am I going to manage keeping rested over the next few months when I am usually really busy and active etc. Am I over reacting? I am sure I am, then how can I remind myself to back off?

Our house is no where near ready for the little one and although my DP is working his socks off to get it habitable, I don't think we have enough time without him burning out. We started the works before my BFP, so there is no turning back. Plus we need to use the spare room to store stuff while we do the work and that spare room will be the nursery. I would pay for someone to come in and do the work, but money is tight and this would cost more than we could afford.

I am worried about work making me take mat leave early. Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to my last day, but only want to take 10 months in total, as we wouldn't be able to afford any longer and the earlier I start, the sooner I will have to go back after the baby is born!

I have a low lying placenta, but it is more than 2cm from os, and seems to be moving in the right direction. The doc thinks the bleed might be related, but isn't sure. But it does seem it will have moved out of the way by term time.

I really want to see this pregnancy through to term and I was hoping to have a home birth, but can see if I have more bleeds, I won't be able to do that. Which isn't the end of the world as long as me and baby are good and well.

So despite my paranoid whinging, things are not as bad as all that, and I am sure everything is fine, but still the odd bit of doubt keeps creeping through.

I just wondered if any of you have any advice that will keep my paranoid, overactive mind at rest and stop me stressing. I just had to share as the more this goes round in my head, the more inflated the worry gets.

I had PP with DC2&3, both times my cervix was fully covered. I was admitted with a bleed at 24 weeks with DD2 (DC3) it s important that you take things easy.

Firstly, work can only force you to start your maternity leave up to 4 weeks before your due date (so, from 36 weeks). Before that, they can put you onto SSP. They should carry out a H&S assessment to check your working environment.

Remember, that once the baby is born, it will start off in with you, so, don't stress about the room. It would be ore having a mobile toddler in that environment.

Did the hospital discuss steroids for the baby's lungs? I had these at 26 weeks for DD2 on my second admission. I also had them at about 34 or 35 weeks with DD1 for the same reason.

Dd they give you any other advice? Ave you been told when you can go backt o work?

Oh, and DD1 is now 6.5, she was born by emcs at 37.5 weeks weighing 8lb 11oz.

DD2 is 3 two weeks tomorrow. She was born at 36+1, weighing 5lb 13 oz no need for SCBU.

No, DD1 was elcs, dd2 was emcs.

Sorry, apparently today I am brainless.

The other poster is right, until 4 weeks before your due date you can be signed off sick. Work can't make you start mat leave any earlier than that. So talk to your gp/midwife about that.

Maybe depending on your job, reduced hours would be a way forward? See how you get on with that - however, I know I got myself signed off as I didn't want to take any risks with baby.

I have no personal experience with going into labour early, but two friends have recently, and although both little boys were in scbu for a while, they are both bouncing boys now and you wouldn't know they were early. One was 10 weeks, one was 8 weeks early.

As for the house, what can be done done will be done, the rest will get there eventually. As long as baby has love it won't need much else house wise for quite a while.

I hope you feel better from the cold soon, and that everything continues smoothly.

I had a bleed at 26 weeks and was told baby would be coming early so i know how stressful it can be. I have rested alot and I am over 30 weeks now. May be try and prepare in case baby did come early so it wouldnt be too much of a shock, but if they are not worried you should try and relax. I know that is easier said than done though!

I have not returned to work either. Consultant signed me off and I was due to start matetnity early anyway. It is not worth the risk.

Thank you for your replies. I did have steroid injections. I do feel a little reassured by your feedback, particularly around the work issue. I have been a little winded by this, so I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post.

OK, rather than address your specific worries, which the other posters have done, I wanted to sympathise with the anxiety.
I had a bit of a scare at 22 wks (very painful BH contractions + vomiting which sent me into the labour ward in a panic for monitoring). Like you, I'd had a fairly easy pg til then, but like you it set my anxiety off. I have already had some CBT for anxiety which followed a previous MMC so I had some strategies, and at least was able to recognise the anxiety as unhelpful thought patterns (which it seems you are able to do also).

I would recommend the book 'The Worry Cure' by Robert Leahy which is a CBT staple and good at helping you see the pattern to anxious thinking.
It helps me to think of anxiety as being like a nasty fly which buzzes round looking for weak spots to land on and get stuck into. So for you, at the moment your 'weak spots' are: early maternity leave, house isn't ready, spare room full of stuff, can't afford to do work etc etc - one thing leads to another thing. If someone were to magically relieve one of these problems, your brain would buzz around looking for something else to worry about. The underlying worry of course being concern about your pregnancy/baby, which is only natural. But you need to get some strategies to help you stop worrying when it is no longer thinking which is proving helpful to you (being vigilant about your pregnancy and getting appropriate medical care when things are out of place is useful; lying awake all night thinking 'what if it comes early?' and constructing hypothetical worst-case scenarios isn't useful, and will tire you out and make you stressed, when you need to rest).

I hope I don't sound unsympathetic to your worries; it must have been a very scary time and you must be very shaken up. Just trying to show that there's (as I have had to learn) different ways of thinking about these things.

Thanks quodlibet you have made real sense and I don't think you are being unsympathetic. It has crossed my thoughts that my concerns about everything else are acting as a diversion from my real concerns.

I will check out the book you suggested and make sure I get all the medical advice, and follow it, without thinking myself a burden)

I hope I get some sleep soon too as that should help me be a little more rational about things.

Thanks for the advice.

I had a bleed with dd2 at 25 weeks, very scary. My first thought was a show, labour ward were scared about placental ubruption, I was kept in for 24 hours..... I can honestly say it was v v stressful, I remember crying on labour ward in the middle of the night because I was so frightened about what would happen She was born at home at 40+4.

I had exactly this and it was fine - the "bubble that burst," exactly. it was low placenta and it moved and the baby came at 41+2, natural delivery, very well. It was scary but I had good reassurance from the HCPs and I settled down eventually.
I worked as long as I meant to, as well - up to t - 2 weeks

about the work on the house - when the baby comes, it will be in with you, so don't worry about the baby's room. If you have a bed for yourself and a working kitchen and a washing machine, all you need is to tuck a moses basket into your room. Eventually your baby will turn into a child who needs a room but you have a good while yet.

I know you are worrying because you are used to being busy. Can you download some guided meditations?

Thank you for your positive stories. It helps.

As for the house, I will not stress so much about getting it all done. The hall, stairs and landing should be done by the end of next week. Then our bedroom should be a couple of weeks after that. A lick of paint in the nursery to cover some of the holes from old should only take a week or so. I am normally a very calm and organised person, but this has thrown me out of sync. I need to just focus on what is important and the rest will follow.

I also had a quick look at the generic sick policy for nhs staff and if push comes to shove and I have to stop early, We shouldn't lose out financially! But will have to check with my trust when I go back to work.

So now for the meditation. I tried to do an audio one the other day which usually knocks me out, bit this time I had to get up and get a hot chocolate to stop myself wanting to do the cancan in bed. It was while I was in hosptial, so possibly not the most relaxed of places.

I keep getting random dreams to this week where nothing really happens but I get all frustrated and started having temper tantrums. I wake up shaken, but pleased it was a dream and not real. Perhaps meditation will help with that too.

Again, thank you all for taking your time to respond. I will try to take on board all you have said.