I just can't cope

[middleclassdystopia]

I am nearly 11 weeks with my third. This baby was planned and wanted and when I first got that BFP I was estatic.

But since 6 weeks I have been feeling sick pretty much all day. I am utterly wiped out and exhausted. My dh has been great but I am gradually getting down. I can't enjoy my two kids, they watch far too much tele, I haven't cooked properly in weeks.

I just trudge through the days waiting for bedtime.

I know I am so blessed to be having another, I also know some women have it worse. I can eat and drink, though I enjoy none of it.

But the excitement has worn off. I feel detached from the pregnancy, I just don't know how longer I cam cope with feeling like this. It is much worse this time.

I felt exactly the same with my 3rd, tired, down, sick etc but trust me, it does pass! Im 28 weeks now and ferling excited because im counting down now and the early weeks are a distant memory!

Dont beat yourself up about the telly, any neglect etc, they wont remember, it certainly wont do them harm. Do what you have to to get you through this stage as it does ease up. Its normal.

Oh No :( Huge hugs and to you

Hopefully the sickness will be over soon?

Can't add much as not been in the same situation, but hopefully there will be some positive advice and help on here for you

xxx

Oh thank you! I'm sure you're right. There's a big gap between this one and my youngest so I think i've forgotten what having a proper bump and feeling normalish feels like. This will be our last so want to enjoy it but right now it feels like hell.

I am hoping that it is just first trimester exhaustion OP. can you get anyone to look after your DCs for a short time at all like play dates or family so you can rest a bit? and for you

Rainbowshine MIL has been helping too, i'm lucky in that respect.

I know it sounds shallow but I think it's when life yields no treats anymore. Food is a battle, my sex life has disappeared and I can't concentrate on a film or good book.

I am 23 weeks with much wanted dc3 and feel the same. I thought the tiredness would go after the first trimester, but no, its still here.

My dc having watched far too much TV over the past few months and apart from the meals dh cooks, are existing on food that is quick and easy to prepare.

I have let go of the guilt though. I can't help how I feel. In January, when baby is here, we can get back to normal. For now I am doing what I need to do to get through.

Be kind to yourself OP. The nausea will pass soon and hopefully the tiredness won't last for you.

Have a unmumsnetty

Hang in there.

I felt exactly the same a little while ago. But now I'm enjoying food (and sex!) again, and I've got a lovely kicking bump to show for it.

I felt exactly the same.

I was so sick for 4 months, projectile vomiting 24/7, feeling like the world was coming to an end, in bed kind of sick.

I remember confiding in my best friend that I was feeling low and totally unexcited about the pregnancy and I even resented him a bit. We'd been trying for so long to conceive and I was SO confused and guilty that I felt like this.

She told me that it was not a good way to feel and had quite a negative response, that made me internalise it more and feel worse.

When I started to feel better I still didn't bond and was resenting the fact that nothing seemed to be about 'me' anymore. I live abroad with no family or friends so I felt like I was a baby farm for my in laws.

I've totally bonded now (34 weeks) but still get those low feelings ebbing in and have no inclination to do anything or see anyone.

What you are feeling is SO normal. Just make sure you keep an eye on making sure your appetite doesn't completely go for any length of time, you want to sleep ALL the time and getting out of bed seems pointless or you have feelings of self harm or 'what's the point'. Then it's time to go have a chat with a nice, compassionate doctor.

'Big hugs' as the Americans would say.

Oh my- are you me? I am now 16 weeks with my 3rd and I was feeling exactly the same as you up until about 2weeks ago.
Every thing in yr post I can say I felt/ was happening.
I felt like crap, and was just getting through to bedtime, felt like the crappest mummy ever. After my all day nause went I got migraines for 5 days of every week. I thought "how will I ever manage with 3?".
Well...there is light at the end of the tunnel?!
I'm still tired, but have tiny bit more energy, no migraine for 8 days and generally bit better,,am starting to feel excited about baby now.
So please feel reassured you will get better, ask or take all the help you cn get. Do anything to make life easer. I really feel for you. Hugs to you.

Hi Hun I'm 11 weeks too and same 6 weeks of constant sickness and nausea. It's be awful. I'm drained exhausted and frankly just fed up. I'm not even feeling pregnant I just feel ill.

I wanted a baby so bad and I do feel like hopeless with the sickness.

This is my first baby so I don't no how I would cope if I had to kids to run around after.

Have you been to docs about sickness they give me some tablets to take which helped and sea bands help me too.

I hope you feel better soon and can enjoy being preganant xxx

I think because I haven't been vomiting I wouldn't qualify for meds. In what other instance would anyone put up with 24 hr sickness and exhaustion though? It's grim

Felling pretty crap here too. I am having to get 24/7 help with DS as just can't cope. The nausea is just relentless!

Hi Totes poor you. At least mine are a bit older, so not so full on physically. My poor dh is ill with cold and sore throat but having to take on most of evening chores as i'm done in by then.

In my darkest moments I have wondered if this was a good idea but then I do remember finding a newborn much easier than being pregnant.

You poor thing. I can really sympathise. I am 24+2 with dc1 and I hardly left the house until I was 16weeks. I ended up seeing my gp as I was really struggling with sickness and feeling really, really low (This was a really planned, really wanted pg, but I seriously considered ending it became I felt so low)
My GP refered me to a peri-natal psychiatrist, it turned out I had depression, but by week 16 I felt so much better and didn't need to take anything, however they are going to look after me until after the baby comes in case it comes back as PND.
Might be worth talking to your GP, apparently the really low feeling can also be a sign of iron deficiency.

Big hugs