When did you talk birthing plans?

[chillisbopper]

Just wondering when everybody else's midwifes started talking to them about their birth plan? I know theoretically birth plans aren't worth much because it all comes down to what happens on the day but I have a few ideas on how I'd like it to go and just wondered when this will be discussed with me. I'm almost 31 weeks and back at the midwifes tomorrow so thinking they might mention it then but thought I'd compare with what you've all experienced

Not really yet, 34w (but have appt this week and am planning a hb so many decisions are already obvious).

Often the things you might decide on would be the result of antenatal classes, which usually are around say 32-36w.

I'd advise against thinking of it as a "birth plan" though, as labour is unpredictable. Work out which things are crucial (eg DH being there, no opiates, yes to Vit K injection, or whatever) and which are "nice to have" such as eg preferring to stay mobile, using a pool if available, DH cutting the cord, which might go by the wayside if things don't progress as you hoped.

A lot of things on your plan might be hospital standard so don't need saying. Your midwife will know.

They don't necessarily have time to read/digest/remember your plan, so it's more for you and your birth partners.

I'm 32 weeks and asked at my last appointment (29w). Midwife told me we'll discuss it at 36w appointment.

However I've already pretty much finished writing my birth plan. I just put down everything that was important to me.

I won't know until 36 weeks because it'll only be then that they'll let me know whether I have to have a CS or whether I can have a normal birth. So I'll do mine after that!

Around 36 weeks I think. Though I didn't have a birth plan and it worked for me. Though I did stipulate that dp had to br the one to tell me the sex and he got to

We wrote ours at 20 weeks and then changed/added as time went on. Our main requests/demands were:

We see them and be told they're breathing (especially if they immediate care etc NICU)
DH cuts the cords.
Save my cords & Placentas.
No FM at all. We try latching straight away.
DH stays with them if I am unable.

36 weeks. Just be open as every labour is different and every woman experiences it differently. They asked me silly things like what level of pain relief I'd like when in reality I turned up at hospital and he flew out too quickly for any pain relief (nb not recommended).

They asked me and DH all of these things as they were happening too.

With my first, it wasn't discussed at all (but she was hateful and soon after put on a desk job).

With my second, it came up around 32wks, I went in for a scan shortly after as antenatal midwife was convinced it was breech (and we had been discussing c-sections), even the scanner thought she was - turned out she just had a quite bony butt . It wasn't really talked about after that though, but she ended up being a home BBA anyways.

With my third, it was brought up early due to the BBA and my desire for a homebirth - a sticky note was put on my notes about it at the first appointment. It was discussed repeatedly throughout and seemed to be the best way I think as I found it quite reassuring that it was being thought about unlike my first two.

Oddly, I had the same midwife with my fourth as I did with my third and she didn't discuss it at all until 34 weeks and then freaked out when I said I hadn't planned on going to hospital. It was like she had never met me before and kept going on about what a lovely environment the birthing suits were (I'd given birth in my home office previously so environment was not my top concern, my concerns about a hospital birth were due to severe abuse by medical professionals when I was young - which she knew about as we'd discussed it as why I wanted a homebirth with 3. While previously sympathetic, she seemed to have lost it and went on about horror stories and discussing that my kids were old enough to know if something went wrong now - with said children in the room. Completely ruined the end of my pregnancy as I had to reassure my oldest I wasn't going to bleed out in front of him and that I didn't need to go to hospital right now to not die. I did end up with a quite good hospital birth due to my own concerns later but she really didn't help things.

oh and I had one request that I refused to budge on and demanded it with all my PGs. I was to be given no pain meds at all (c-section excluded), even if I started demanding and swearing I want them. DH helped enforce this. I wanted to experience everything and new I would regret and hate myself if I gave in. Luckily, I have demanded/given in yet haha.

What's a BBA?

Toby: Born Before Arrival, my DD1 was born before the arrival of a midwife and minutes before paramedics arrived (because I went from irregular contractions 7-15 minutes apart to urgent body pushing to baby in arms in about fifteen minutes after hours of odd irregular labour), which led concern with the others that it might happen again. With DD1 it was fine as she was term and the odd labour was most likely caused by her odd position (she came out still back to back with arms wrapped around herself and elbows pointing out, I think her elbows got caught on my public bone) but it can be concern.

My advice is think about what you want early. I went into premature labour at 35 weeks and had no idea what to do or what to expect because nothing had been discussed with me and I had no clue about anything with it being my first baby an not knowing anyone in real life who had had one.

Thank you! Didn't end up talking birth plan today really although the midwife put my mind at ease about a few things which helped . Next time I'm in will be 34 and 36 weeks so I'm sure it'll be mentioned more then from the sounds of things

Hi,

I'm 37w tomorrow. Just had my birthing plan talk today with the MW and DH.

It was fairly standard stuff. If you have an Nhs folder with a green booklet in, there is a section in there about it, which your midwife will fill in as they go through it with you.

Hope this helps.

I had a very short one and gave it to the MW at 38 weeks. It basically said don't talk to me unless I talk to you, don't touch me at all, don't touch the baby at all, and no sharp things are to come anywhere near either of us! I didn't have much to fill in on the NHS version, most of it wasn't applicable, so I did my own and stuck it in.

I started talking very early because I have specific reasons for wanting to avoid certain types of intervention/controlling the environment (as far as possible) and I know a lot of these go against hospital protocol and might just look like I'm being fussy... So last time I had a meeting with a specialist MW, my OB and a psychologist at 6 months and I'll be requesting the same at my next MW appt (am due December), so a little later this time but I basically plan to recycle my birth plan so it's just a matter of getting them to agree!

It really depends what's on the plan and why. If it's what I'd refer to as the 'nice to haves' then you can chat about it quite late but if it's a history of abuse/mental health issues/previous traumatic birth/bad reactions to drugs eye then you'll need to start earlier because they won't know these things unless you tell them.