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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

A couple of random and possibly silly questions from a first timer

68 replies

missmargot · 24/09/2013 08:41

I have a few things weighing on my mind that are possibly completely ridiculous and/or common sense and I'm hoping someone can help me.

Firstly, what clothing do I need to buy for a winter baby? All I have bought so far are simple sleep suits as I don't want to be wrestling a newborn into 'proper' clothes, but given it is going to be cold what should I be putting over them? Are lots of layers best? Any particular fabrics?

Secondly, when I'm in hospital having had the baby, is it ok to leave the baby whilst I go and shower, use the toilet etc? I know it's a very random concern but I read on a previous thread elsewhere about 'things women wish they knew before labour' and a woman said she didn't know whether she should or not but didn't actually the answer the question and it's been playing on my mind.

I think that's the end of my silly questions for now but I'm sure there will be more

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

rundontwalk · 25/09/2013 03:14

Totally agree with the 2previous posters-unless you live in a really really cold house,I wouldn't worry about the baby being cold. Overheating is a far bigger worry. Generally babies need one more layer than we are wearing,so vest +sleepsuit+grobag would usually be fine. I found good Grobag deals on the website babycurls. & for the first few weeks we used a swaddling wrap.

For daytimes on the house a sleepsuit + cardi would be fine. They will be getting lots of cuddles/feeding which will keep them warm :)

Also agree layers are best for out & about,especially if you're in & out of shops. Or have the raincover on! Have seen some babies in shops with blankets,snowsuits & cover on - just dangerous!

When it came to going to the loo I used to leave my baby by the bed but for showers I'd wheel him in with me (cot on wheels). The loo was just opposite my ward. But just ask the midwives on your ward what you should do (if they don't tell you).

& when it comes to pregnancy/labour etc there really is no such thing as a stupid question! We will all have wondered the same at some point! Hope it all goes well for you & congrats.

rundontwalk · 25/09/2013 03:18

& yes-taking vests off downwards! Why did I not know this until baby number 2!

Rowboat · 25/09/2013 06:51

was..just going to say what run just did. As a general rule of thumb they only need 1layer more than you. So if your in a reasonably warm house in a t shirt, baby doesn't need more than maybe a cardi over babygro. dd lived in vests and socks as a summer newborn in a warm house. This one will be a midwinter newborn so im thinking cardis and blankets.

MisselthwaiteManor · 25/09/2013 07:02

Don't put a hat on your baby while they're sleeping, someone up thread mentioned putting a hat on baby indoors so thought I should point this out. It's important to keep their head uncovered to reduce the risk of over heating and SIDS. I had a June baby and a student midwife kept coming in and putting DDs hat on while we slept, drove me insane.

bigbrick · 25/09/2013 21:47

I mentioned the hat on inside if in a colder house than a usual heated house. I used a light weight hat on when it was cold inside - mine needed this. I used cotton stretch fabric hats. Most people are in modern houses and can wear a teeshirt in the winter themselves but I'm in an older house and it is colder. I manage this by wearing lots of layers. I carried my children when they were little and this also helps keep a good body temperature and helped me to know if they were ok. I co-slept for the same reason. Just how I did things

purrpurr · 25/09/2013 21:53

We have a modern house, a modern income and pay modern heating rates. So, one morning this week I did indeed put a hat on DD, because it was Buddy Coawd! I also put the same hat on her mid morning that day for a trip to the shops in the pushchair.

I was warned off hats when I had DD. Cos it was May. The restriction didn't stretch to a fresh Autumn morning or the depths of winter. Cripes.

MisselthwaiteManor · 26/09/2013 01:43

Nothing wrong with that if it's very cold of course but didn't want anyone to think it was right to put a hat on a baby as standard indoors. It was the first reply I was referring to.

purrpurr · 26/09/2013 17:50

Oh hey Op, I don't want to overstep the mark here but there were a couple of things that blindsided me after having my DD that I wanted to share:

my appetite totally disappeared for a week or two, the midwife actually asked me if it had come back yet before I got chance to ask her about it, really totally normal. Small thing I know!

you have all the tools to soothe your baby when they arrive. I remember the first time my baby cried and I was a bit scared of not knowing what to do. All she wanted was me, quite a scary and profound moment to have at 2am.

Hope you don't mind my saying those things. I remember the first 72 hours in crystal clear detail!

googietheegg · 26/09/2013 20:26

For quite a few weeks after I had dd I felt crazily possessive of her, not just protective. My theory is that I took such a pride in 'doing everything right' during my pregnancy that when she was out of my body I felt like I'd lost control and everyone else was doing it wrong. Not a great experience all round!! But just thought I'd share in case you feel a bit like that too.

YoniMitchell · 26/09/2013 20:42

Oh this thread is like gold! Thanks for piping-up OP, I'm expecting my first and have been wondering the same things!

purrpurr · 26/09/2013 20:54

Oh yes, the possessive/protective feeling. My MIL and DM each held my DD for an hour when they came round when she was days old, as my DD obligingly fell asleep on them. The effect on my nervous system was like parking an air raid siren right next to me on quiet and then gradually turning it up until it was unbearable, from about 20 minutes onwards. I was a wreck, I needed my little baby back in my arms, I couldn't stand it. It took me a month before I felt more settled about being physically apart from her.

Since found out this is normal as well. All of this is survival of the species stuff, this is natural instincts taking over. You are allowed to ask for your baby back. I started asking, and I even said no when people asked to hold her. This is not a game of pass the parcel, this is a newborn baby, gerroff.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 26/09/2013 21:41

Ive had 2 DCs, now cooking number 3.
I was always told, a baby needs 1 more layer than you or I. Don't forget, in a pram they are sitting still, you will be walking and pushing.
Snowsuits are good, but as others have said, its hard to regulate temperature going in and out of shops. I still have one of these.
I cannot recommend it more.
You can use it as a normal cosy toes, but in bad weather, gather in the top opening, making a really cosy cocoon. Its easily opened going indoors to outdoors, and having slots for straps you can transfer baby in it from pram to car seat.
On school mornings, I used to lift DD asleep from her cot, put her straight into the cocoon, zip it up, gather in the top, do the school run and she would be warm as toast, stay asleep and just wake up as we got home, in time for her breakfast. She never needed a coat or extra layers. The outer layer is also shower proof.

SPBisResisting · 26/09/2013 21:45

I had ds in a private delivery room with ensuite and stayed overnight, so no issues.
With dd I was on the pn ward. I ran to thw loo for a wee the next morning in a panic (bearing in mind you have lochia to deal with too!). I wouldnt have showered - wait until home or visiting.

SPBisResisting · 26/09/2013 21:47

Oh and our dc lived in sleepsuits for most of their first year. You can also get what we call furry sleepsuits. Vest + sleepsuit + furry sleepsuit lovly and warm.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 26/09/2013 21:53

TBH, on the ward, I just buddied up with one of the other ladies. You watch mine and I'll watch yours! It never really occurred to me that anything would happen to them. And that was 14+ years ago. Things are a lot more secure nowadays!
In my day the midwives would also mind the baby at their desk for a short while if you needed them to.

BummyMummy77 · 26/09/2013 22:50

The protective thing is worrying me.

I'm 34 weeks and already feeling like I don't want anyone to come and see the baby. Bar other half and the dog.

I know my in laws will want to come around the second he's born and I just want to pick him up, run off and hide in a cave where nobody can bother us. The thought of anyone actually touching him makes me so anxious I almost cry. :(

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 26/09/2013 22:58

Bummy I only have personal experience to draw on obviously, but IME I wanted the whole world to admire my gorgeous baby. I couldn't wait to get out and show them off. Excessive hugging did make me a bit twitchy, but there is always a good reason to take them back!
How about having a babymoon. Tuck yourself and the baby up in bed and tell everyone not to come round for a week. You could cite needing to recover from a difficult birth, or needing to establish breast feeding as an excuse, it doesnt have to be true and stick a sign on the door telling people not to knock. piss off

BummyMummy77 · 26/09/2013 23:10

Saggy Lol! Thanks. Hopefully that's how I'll feel too.

I've already mentioned to dh the possibility I may not want anyone around for a while afterwards and he told me that's not really likely to happen. Oh yes it is buddy. Especially if I start biting people.

DirtyDancing · 26/09/2013 23:33

Great thread! So much useful info. I'm due in December so all v relevant to me too

HorryIsUpduffed · 26/09/2013 23:38

Bummy I passed my DC1 around too much. I wanted and needed to hold him a lot in the first days but wanted to "be good" and "share".

Actually it upset me far more than it would have upset them to say "actually, give him back". Another breastfeed trumps everything

BummyMummy77 · 27/09/2013 00:21

Horry

I'm not very good at sharing. Rather than ask for him back I think I'll develop growling and glaring and hope people pick up on it.

It makes it worse that my family will not meet him for a couple of months, I'd so love my Mum to be the first (apart from dh) to hold him.

Did everyone get the heel test done? Did anyone flip out?

HorryIsUpduffed · 27/09/2013 07:59

Heel prick really isn't as bad as you think. They have a special stabber and in my experience (2 DC) they didn't even notice. They took the prick during a feed so they were suitably distracted.

Heel prick tests screen for rare but incredibly dangerous conditions. Again, no question.

midori1999 · 27/09/2013 08:22

I've had two winter babies and never owned a snowsuit. I just opted for a thick cardigan and blankets for going out as its easy to cover/uncover if you're in and out of shops, for example. This time I've opted for a fleece all in one from JoJo as ill only really be using a sling.

Re: people holding the baby, just do what you're happy with. I've already told people that this baby won't be passed around and belongs on me, on the breast. With DD, my Mum stayed for two weeks after the birth and I think she only got to hold her twice, it certainly wasn't much more than that. She was fine with it and DD was my PFB either, she was DC 6... I just didn't really want her out of my sight at all until about 4 months old or so.

Sunnysummer · 27/09/2013 08:26

One other thing - don't get too excited right away about buying clothes, people tend to give you loads as gifts! We started with the bare minimum and added on as gaps appeared :-)

googietheegg · 27/09/2013 08:40

It's true that you'll prob be given clothes but ime I got fancy stuff that was totally impractical and actually never got worn. People don't buy you six packs of m&s sleepsuits!! They buy you party dresses. So you still need to buy what the baby will actually wear - long sleeved body suits (the ones with no legs) and long sleeved sleepsuits (with arms and legs) that can all be easily washed and tumbled dried - m&s, tesco, asda and mothercare are all good and not expensive (although asda ones are tackier!!!)

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